Adventures in Paradise 6

New Quilt

New Quilt 2

See if you can find our neighbor in the tree.  He is going to pick coconuts.

Prior to Unveiling Service.  Headstone is under the pink fabric.   This is on the family front lawn.

Prior to Unveiling.

The Unveiled Head Stone.  A daughter read the inscription to the crowd

A son paying his respects.

Our Friend Jake Numanga at the airport.

Jake Numanga at the airport when we arrived 5 October 2010

Adventures in Paradise 6 

Kia orana, everyone! Our excellent adventure continues with a brief history of the Tivaevae quilts. Once upon a time a young Polynesian woman was sitting in the shade of one of her favorite trees. She noticed the play of the shadows of the leaves that were cast on the ground. She thought that it was such a beautiful sight that she hated for the shadows to disappear. Suddenly, she had an idea! Why not trace the shape of the leaves and shadows and incorporate those fleeting patterns into a quilt? Ha! This was brilliant! She could find pleasure in the design and sleep under the “shadows” at night. What sweet dreams she would have! So, she traced the patterns of the leaves and cut those shapes out of fabric. The leaves were one color, the shadows another. Originally, these quilts were only two colors, but when the idea caught on, women became more creative with both design and color and the result of one woman’s vision is the quilt that we now have on our bed here. I think that it’s stunning! Many people lusted after these quilts (the author included) but there was a slight problem. The word Tivaevae, literally means women sewing in a circle. A group of women sit together  and work on one quilt at a time. When that quilt is finished, they start on a new one. Each woman takes home a quilt, but they are hardly ever sold and it is an insult to ask someone to buy them. They are meant to be given as gifts, to decorate one’s home and most especially, they are used to wrap the dead in preparation for burial. This is a sweet sendoff for a loved one, as so much work has gone into the making of these quilts. Now as women are often finding themselves in a position where they need to help provide for their family, some of these quilts will occasionally end up in a shop somewhere. I found this one in a little shop here and am thrilled to have it. My first inclination, was to wrap it up and look at it once in a while, but again, that would not be respectful to the woman who made it. They are meant to be used and enjoyed and there is a richness that develops at the quilt ages, much, I hope, like the people who enjoy these creations!

So speaking of loved ones who have passed on, I would like to tell you about an experience we had this week. Note to the reader: From now on, whenever you read of anything that goes on here in Rarotonga, please just assume that there will be a feast afterwards! We were invited to an “unveiling” and it was a remarkable experience. We have mentioned before that the Polynesian people have great respect for their deceased loved ones. As you know, most homes have at least some of the family buried in family plots on their property. When the burial takes place, there is a tomb that is erected over the gravesite. This happens immediately after the person dies, but the marker or headstone does not appear until exactly one year after the person died and then this marker is revealed with great ceremony. Many layers of cloth are placed over the marker. These layers are usually in the favorite color of the deceased. The layers sometimes get brighter and  or more elaborate as they get closer to the marker. To begin the service, there is a prayer and a song. The person conducting then begins to call people out of the audience, one at a time. He tells how this particular person was related to or had some importance in the dead persons life. That person then says a few words and takes off one layer of the covering. This goes on until the last layer, which is usually reserved for close family members, usually the children. More than one person may remove a layer at a time, and in our case, three of the children acted together. When the last layer is removed, someone reads what is on the headstone. There are touching tributes, tears, more singing and another prayer. I cannot honestly say what the prayers contained, as they were in Maori, but the woman sitting next to me kept saying “Amen” and “Praise the Lord” during the prayer, so I am assuming that it was all very good! You all know what came after that! I tell this story because it goes to show how much respect these people have for family.

There are so many ways that people have of showing respect here. We are touched by the simple, yet profound ways that they go about this. If you are an honored guest, you leave your shoes on when entering the home. You are given the first plate, pointed toward the table, and someone tells you to EAT! Everyone will be watching to make sure that you do just that! For the diet-conscious, we have learned a few hints. First you spread your plate with a thin layer of rice, as that shows good intent. Then you pile a few large pieces of fruit on that, which adds bulk and takes up space. Then you hold a piece of fruit (like watermelon) and take tiny bites while talking. Those you are talking to are eating, themselves, so they don’t notice that you are eating a lot less than they are! We are often given gifts, and have learned to just say “Thank You”, instead of  “Oh, I can’t accept this”, or “Oh, you shouldn’t have”! Again, these people, whom we think have so little, find so many ways of sharing. Last week, we took a family to the airport, and this week we picked them up. As we were unloading the car, the women came up to me quietly and put Tahitian leis around my neck. These are made of shells and are lovely. Before I could get back in the van, a father came up and put one more around my neck, without saying a word. I also found a Pareu (sarong) on the front seat as we were driving away. They make little show of these kindnesses and do not want a big show of thanks. Oh, yes, we also found a bag of mangos and two breadfruits in the back seat as well! An older gentleman, Jake Numanga, has been playing his ukulele and singing for all incoming international flights for thirty years. This is especially remarkable, when you realize that there are sixteen flights a week and as his eyes are not what they used to be, a family member drives him to every flight that arrives after dark! I believe that one of these flights arrives in the early morning hours, around 3:00 am!

We have had wonderful teaching opportunities this week and we have been learning a lot as well. We as usual, have had our share of surprises. We had unexpected house guests who came from another of the islands to attend district (stake) conference. They are Vernon and Sherry Terry, from Bountiful and they were here for four days. I found out the Monday prior to conference that I was speaking, and Ward was asked the night before to give the opening prayer! Two days ago, our family home evening people cancelled, so I decided to take a nice long shower (the sun had been out, so the water was hot), and to relax for the evening. The phone rang and someone wanted to know where we were and when we were coming! They were expecting us for their family home evening! We had no idea. We made it in about ten minutes and there was not time for dry hair or makeup, so I will leave that picture to your imagination! When we arrived, the evening began and it was announced that we were giving the lesson! Oh, yes, expect the unexpected. Someone has suggested to us that that phrase might be better put to say. “ACCEPT the unexpected   Then there was my new calling, which was extended the night before it was announced at conference……I am the new district (stake) Young Women’s President! I didn’t even know that a missionary could have a calling, but apparently they can. The district meeting was wonderful and the choir sang beautifully, especially “I Am a Child of God”, sung in Maori.

There is so much more, but it will have to wait for next week. As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. If you come for a visit, please note that there is a shoe-stealing-dog in the neighborhood, so please do not leave your shoes outside! Many guests have gone limping out of here with one less shoe than they were wearing upon arrival. We might just brag a little and say that Elder Terry, who had served here many years ago,  remarked that he was impressed that we knew so many people after having been here for such a short time. We have been trying and we took that as a great compliment. We love you and appreciate the notes that come after you have read our latest blog. We miss you all.

Love, Ward and Susan    Elder and Sister Belliston serving in the Cook Islands