Adventures in Paradise 13

ADVENTURES IN PARADISE 13

Kia orana!  Our excellent adventure continues with a course from the famous “Miss Manners”. Miss Manners wrote a column on etiquette and gracious behavior. She focused on helping the hapless hostess (ah, such illiteration!) solve any social dilemma. Readers would write in with their particular sticky situation and Miss Manners would publish a solution, which was laced with a touch of humor. Miss Manners, however, it is clear, never lived in Rarotonga. So here, for your edification, and hopefully enjoyment is a sampling of letters one might expect Miss Manners to find on her desk. We have included her expert answers along with the expected Rarotongan response.

1. Dear Miss Manners, how many guests should be invited for a well-balanced dinner party. The Answer: Miss Manners suggests that there should never be more guests than can be seated cozily around your dining room table. Rarotongan answer: No chairs, no problem.
2. Dear Miss Manners, my friend always brings her famous Baked Alaska to my dinner parties. I have already planned dessert and do not wish to offend by not serving it. But, I want to be the star at my own party. What should I do?  The answer: Miss Manners suggests that you simply light that Baked Alaska on fire a little ahead of time, and conveniently forget that it’s melting away in your kitchen. Rarotongan answer: Extra dessert? What is the problem?
3. Dear Miss Manners, what should I do when invited guests bring extra people, whom I was not expecting? This throws off the balance of the seating and I worry that there will not be enough food for everyone. We won’t have place cards for everyone!  The answer: Miss Manners, suggests that you keep smiling and seat the guests you invited and let the interlopers look on from a distance. This way, you need say nothing, but everyone will get the message.  Rarotongan answer: Extra guests? What’s the problem?
4. Dear Miss Manners, one of my favorite couples is always at least one hour late for dinner. What shall I do, as I love my friend, but hate cold food? The answer: Miss Manners suggests that you simply sneak into your friends’ home and turn all their clocks ahead an hour or two. As long as they have no contact with the outside world, they will never know the difference and you all will be able to enjoy a hot meal together. The Rarotongan answer: Time is no problem!

Hopefully, Miss Manners would suggest that when in Rome…..well, you know the rest. I would suggest that when in Rarotonga, you need to appreciate the fact that there is no problem. An understanding of the hearts of the Rarotongans would be a huge asset as well. We met with a family on Monday, who had been sleeping at the beach for a week.  They took their meager supply of blankets and pillows and two loaves of bread down to the beach to escape the heat of their small home. Just in passing, they happened to mention that during that week, they never went hungry, as people driving by, would stop and leave some food for them. This was a family of eleven people. I was astounded by this, but they found nothing unusual in this generosity.

Do you remember Jake, who sings at the airport? Yes? Well, the other day, we delivered his Santa hat photo to him along with his part of the poem. He was very excited to receive our small gift. As we were about to drive away, he stopped us and asked, “But what can I give to you”? We waited in the van, expecting some papaya or possibly some bananas. Jake, returned, grinning from ear to ear and presented us with a hind quarter of pork! We have learned that the gifts here are given freely and instead of responding that we couldn’t possibly accept, we just say thank you. We are always grateful.

We have noticed that as we are leaving a home, our hosts will wait in the doorway until we are out of sight. This is a way of showing respect to the visitor. We are trying to remember to do the same with our guests. While it seemed harsh at first to be told to  EAT! or SIT! we now recognize this as their way of saying. “You first, honored guest.” We now know that if we don’t sit first or be first at the table, no one else will be eating or sitting! We have been in homes where there are only one or two chairs or stools, but we know that we must accept them when offered. Along with that stool or chair, they are offering respect.  We never thought that we would find ourselves eating a whole meal, including potato salad and ice cream with our fingers, but we are. Occasionally, someone will bring us utensils out of respect, but we don’t worry about this any more. In Salt Lake, I used to worry about fancy napkin folding. Now, when I am finished with my meal, I either look for a hose or hold my hands out for the rain to wash! In my other lifetime, I would treat myself to a fancy pedicure once in a while. Now, I wonder if I will be able to make it up that muddy hill, barefoot, without falling.  We have learned that our new friends have superb manners when it comes to making guests feel honored. We have never felt more welcome than we do when someone here offers to share with us. I might mention, that our new Tahitian elder, was so cheeky as to suggest that I could use my earrings as spoons. He was joking, or at least that’s what he says, but he has given me a great idea. I am going to make a million dollars when I come home by marketing the world’s first earring- spoon combination! Miss Manners would undoubtedly suggest that good manners begin by having a good heart.

We held a branch FHE at our backyard and beach on Monday. Most everyone in the branch attended and it was a lovely evening. We have included pictures to make you all jealous! As usual, at the last minute, I was asked to present a short lesson. Later I learned that President Cummings had asked Ward first and he graciously suggested that I would be honored to do it instead. Honored should be translated to panicked! I heard myself talking about 1^st Nephi where Nephi says that he was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand where he should go. The first word in the next verse is Nevertheless, which speaks to our listening to the guidance and following it.  Elder, “Oh, please dear, you go first”, was smiling peacefully out of the reach of his surprised wife! It was a lovely evening and the rain didn’t begin until after sundown in our own personal Camelot! 

Yesterday, we were sad to say goodbye to Elder Barnett, who is returning to Tahiti to finish his mission. This gives him another chance to use his French before returning home to Washington State. Elder Barnett worked hard and was diligent in his service. He took us under his wing when we first arrived and we felt like the junior companions. We have learned so much from him. On our first day here, as we went to visit members, we stopped to visit an elderly woman and her young grandson. It was a nice little visit and I was halfway back to the van, ready to move on, when I heard Elder Barnett ask this woman if there was anything that we could do for her! I am sorry to say that it never occurred to me to ask that question and I was ashamed. I have never made that mistake again. This young man taught by example and we will miss him. Oh, by the way, when you arrive here, you are presented with flower eis (leis), but because flowers are not allowed on the airplane, people leaving the island are presented with shell eis. It is most appropriate that these eis, be gifts that someone else gave you first. We were able to present Elder Barnett with two beautiful Tahitian shell eis that we had received earlier. We wish him a wonderful and successful life!

 We have big news to share this week! On January 22, we will be visited by Elder Hamula, who is assistant to Elder Tad Callister, who is our South Pacific Area President. He will be accompanied by Elder Costa. of The Presidency of the Seventy. Elder Hamula visits every six months or so, but never in recent memory has one of The Presidency of the Seventy visited the island. As you can imagine, people are very excited and speculation is rampant as to the purpose of his visit. Ward and I are thrilled to know that in company with our two young elders, we will meet with these men at our home for two hours! We are tying to prepare answers to any questions that we might be asked. We will share our experiences with you in a later blog.

Oh, yes, we wanted to mention that although it is summer, it is also cyclone season. We have had very little wind, but we have had drenching rains. This does not stop life here by any means and since the rain is needed so desperately for crops, it is referred to as liquid sunshine. How lovely! Oh, yes, people are so relaxed here, that we heard the other day of a man who fell asleep while riding on his scooter. He ran into a tree, which did finally wake him up! He stood up brushed himself off and away he went. The term “Sleepy Little Village” really does apply here.

Well, as usual, we are happy and trying to work hard.  We have several people that we are teaching at the moment and hope to work with others in the near future. You are all in our thoughts and prayers and we hope that this New Year finds you looking forward to a bright future. We love and miss you all. Miss Manners would find me remiss if I did not suggest that our door is always open.

Love, Ward and Susan          Elder and Sister Belliston serving in the Cook Islands

Hiking to Sunday Dinner. The Van is parked at the bottom of this muddy hill. 

Volleyball on our back lawn at the branch party

Beautiful women at our beach party

Standing on the beach looking back at the feast

A young "social climber".

Another cute kid!

Our backyard turned into a carpark

Can you imagine your guests parking on your lawn? Here, No Problem!

One of our bathing beauties.

Elders Barnett and Tahiata enjoying a casual moment at the party 

Getting into the swim of things! The white that you see in the water is the reef. The water inside the reef is calm and clear and perfect for snorkeling.