Adventures in Paradise 42

Adventures in Paradise 42

Kia Oran, everyone! Our excellent adventure continues with a very old memory and how it has affected my life. I have often speculated on just what it is that motivates a person to choose to do for others. Why would someone spend time, energy and often personal resourses in order to assist someone else? A skeptical person might suggest that in those circumstances there is the promise of some sort of personal gain for the giver. Most of us however, could speculate that positive intent is the supreme motivator. 

When I was eight, I received a Besty Wetsy doll for my birthday. Does this date me? I am certain that it does, but I digress from my story. I loved that doll and took her everywhere. I was an excellent mother and loved to feed and change that baby. My mother could not pry Besty out of my hands, even at bath time. I could not imagine my eight-year old life without her.

One morning, my father on the way home from his graveyard shift, stopped at a little cafe for breakfast. Dad said that as he was waiting to pay his check, a couple entered with their young daughter. The mother and father were tired, dirty and wearing rumpled clothing. The little girl was clutching a wadded-up pink blanket. This family had lost their home in a fire that morning and what they had left was what they were wearing. The child, having lost her doll as well, was pretending that the pink blanket was her baby. As I recall, my father paid for their breakfast and came home to relate the story. I knew how much that little girl was mourning for her doll and how sad she was not to have her anymore. In my eight-year old brain, something told me that I should give Betsy to my father so that he could return to the café. But my eight-year old heart was having a difficult time with that idea. It took me a long time before I decided that the other little girl needed Betsy more than I did. Finally, I gave the doll to my father and asked him to deliver her to the other little girl. Unfortunately, I had taken too long to make my decision and the family was no longer at the café when my father returned.

Why would an event that occurred fifty-five (ok I admit it!) years ago still linger in my memory? What lingers is the feeling of regret that I experienced. After all these years, I still wish that I could give Besty to that little girl. I would give almost anything to change that few moments in time. I am still frustrated with my eight-year old self. The other memory that is attached to that incident is the one where I decided that I did not want to feel like that again. For me, my decision to try to be a good help to people came in those hours after I realized that the chance to be of help to that other child was lost to me forever. Perhaps, my thinking at that age was a little more simplistic, but it was one of my defining moments.

So, why mention that here and why now? I speak of it now because on this island, I have witnessed so many loving thoughtful acts from people that I have grown to love and respect. Last week Pa and Junior were married. Pa chose to keep the preparations simple and the guest list limited to only twenty due to the lack of finances. They were saving for a trip to the New Zealand temple and could not afford an elaborate wedding. Friends, family and co-workers of the couple stepped in to “save the day”. They took the burden of planning, and worry over finances off the shoulders of Pa and Junior and ran with it. The result was a touching, beautiful wedding day. Pa and Junior were overwhelmed by the love that they felt and expressed their sincere gratitude at the feast that followed. It’s important to note here, that most everything was donated and no one went to great expense. The fact that everyone worked together for a common goal made the task easier for us all . It was also a lot of fun. We felt good at the end of the day for having had the opportunity to serve someone else. There were no regrets. It was a very good day!

The little girl with the pink-blanket baby is, hopefully, having a wonderful life. She will never know the lesson she taught an eight-year old about the value of sharing. I would like to think that she and I have lived parallel lives, both of us having learned a valuable lesson due to the loss her family suffered that morning light-years ago. Hopefully, she too remembers what it’s like to be without and how important it is to help someone in need.

As usual, we are happy and trying to work hard. We are learning lessons about the happiness that comes by doing for others. We are grateful also, to have been on the receiving end of many acts of kindness from those in our lives who live with positive intent. The photos that we share this week allow you too, to appreciate the generosity of those whose goal was to simply give a young couple a lovely day.

Love, Ward and Susan                      Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in the Cooks   

The eis were hand-made by local women. From donated fabric, I made the wedding clothing. My sons brought the bridal illusion for the veil with them from America. 

Brother-in-law Tere was the photographer

All of the flowers were home-grown.

The donated tapa cloth makes a lovely backdrop

Our friend, David Akanoa performed the marriage and donated the tents. The Avarua Branch supplied the tables and chairs.

All of the food was donated as well. In the foreground you can see taro and chop suey. Someone slaughtered a pig, while others roasted chickens. The wedding cake was supplied by the Belliston Bakery, and was decorated with fresh flowers picked at the church.

Another lovely day in Paradise with good friends