Adventures in Paradise 38

Adventures in Paradise 38

Kia Orana, everyone!  Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts and observations on kissing.  Did I get your attention? I hope so! Actually, the focus here is how we all go about the process of greeting each other, and the sincerity of a real welcome.

Several years ago, as I stood in the Madrid airport, I watched with fascination as people were greeting each other. It was my first trip abroad and I was feeling very “uncosmopolitan”.  Every where that I looked, smartly-dressed men and women were  embracing  each other with a welcome kiss on both cheeks. I felt like a country bumpkin. Earlier, as my host approached me, I had offered him a firm handshake in greeting. It then occurred to me that this was a huge social faux pas, as this man seemed to have no idea what to do with that handshake. I suddenly became aware of my surroundings and realized, with some dismay that no one was shaking hands. Everyone was kissing someone else! At that moment in time, I was very uncomfortable with kissing a stranger, even if only on the cheek and I could not imagine ever getting past my uneasiness related to greeting anyone in that way. How times and my attitude have changed since then!

The traditional greeting here is a kiss on the right cheek. If you are greeting a stranger, a quick buss on the cheek will do and you are new friends. If you are greeting an old friend or family, the kiss is heartfelt and is often accompanied by a hug of epic proportions. It’s easy to tell in what esteem the kisser holds you. The longer the kiss and the bigger the hug, the happier they are to see you. I have learned that wearing post earrings is hazardous to my health as I have had more than one hug that has imbedded that post into my neck! Even in pain, I wouldn’t dream of pulling away and risk offending my friend. I have learned to appreciate this gesture for what it is and to just change earrings. If someone is happy to see me I am thrilled!

I have grown used to the cheek kissing and the hugs and will miss them when I leave here. These greetings instantly promote a closeness and an intimacy that I feel is lacking in a handshake. One is immediately drawn into an awareness of others, and just like a handshake, each persons kisses are a little different. Some friends here pat my face as well, and make wonderful eye contact. The little children often throw their arms around our necks for a prolonged and often sticky smooch. The exchange between men and women can be more complicated (well there is a metaphor for life, if I ever uttered one!) and can involve a form of a handshake while leaning in to touch cheeks. With good friends, however the same basic rules apply and there is a lovely quick kiss on the cheek accompanied by a smile. These greetings instantly break down barriers and promote closeness and it is a very sweet experience to be part of this custom. We now are even experiencing people blowing us a kiss as we pass on the road. How wonderful!

It seems that the Polynesians have known for generations how important it is for human beings to have that personal sort of interaction. New mothers world wide, are now being encouraged to foster skin-to-skin contact with their babies as a way of bonding with them. Our new friends here, are way ahead of that learning curve. For many years, I displayed a poem in my kitchen, entitled “A Cookie and a Kiss”. This poem talked about how important it was to greet a returning child with a cookie and a kiss. It also spoke of not being concerned about whether the boy brought home a puppy or a bug. He should always be greeted with a hug.  Perhaps my simple version of that poem for our life here could be:

A Polynesian when greeting

Would feel quite remiss

If the welcome were a handshake

Instead of a kiss!

Well, you get the message. We love the warmth of the people here and feel of their love in so many ways. There are kisses, and hugs. There are waves from passing motor scooters and from children along the side of the road. There are children calling “ELDER!” as we drive along and we always turn the van around to say hello to them. I’m sure this has nothing to do with their hope that we might have some American candy with us. No, not possible! We love sitting next to someone and having them put a friendly arm around us. Those who have come for a visit have experienced that same openness. You never forget that feeling of truly being welcome. 

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. We have missed you all and can’t wait until we “Cook Islanders” can greet you in true Polynesian fashion. Please be prepared to lean in for a kiss on the right cheek and receive a huge hug. Ladies, for your safety, you may also want to consider not wearing post earrings. It’s just a thought………………..

We hope all is well with all of you and want to suggest that in our honor, you hug the person nearest to you.

Love, Ward and Susan                      Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in the Cooks



Meet four of my dear friends

Peka

  

Sharon

Leanne  

Tere

Hugs and kisses from us until next week