Adventures in Paradise 41

Adventures in Paradise 41

Kia Orana, everyone! Our excellent adventure continues with thoughts of July celebrations. Here, we are five thousand miles away from our Fourth and Twenty Fourth of July holidays. There has always been a special place in my heart for these two dates. One is intrinsically American, while the other belongs to Utah as a celebration of our pioneer forefathers.  It seemed a bonus to me that Utah had two causes for fireworks within the same month. I love these traditions and the festivities surrounding them.

 We were lucky to live in Utah. July had that languid, lazy air about it. For me, it was always the best part of the summer. There were endless picnics, fireworks and reasons to fly the flag. There were drives up the canyon, trips to Lake Powell and barbeques in the back yard.  There were rodeos, demolition derbys, baseball and a lot of hot dogs. Then there were the parades. There were large, fancy parades and small, intimate ones. There were parades that lasted three hours and those that simply wound around the neighborhood. There were elaborately designed floats and crepe paper decorated bikes. It was all a wonderful accumulation of tradition and I loved it. I was  anticipating that I would miss home more in July than in any other month and was preparing myself for a major attack of homesickness, when I first began hearing the announcements for Cook Islands Constitution Day. July was saved!!

Te Maeva Nui celebrations began this morning with a parade! The theme for this year is “Signs of My Homeland” and people from all of the outer Cook Islands are arriving in Rarotonga to participate in a week jam- packed with singing, dancing, drumming and non-stop activity. Yesterday evening, the Lady Naomi docked at Avaitu harbor. Having left Samoa two weeks ago, she had made stops at all the northern group of the Cooks to pick up passengers. These passengers were arriving to help us celebrate. They were met at the docks by a truckload of drummers and ei-laden Rarotongans ready to welcome their participation.

The coming week’s festivities will not include a single rodeo, firework or marching band. Thousands of dollars will not be spent on elaborate decorations .Instead, one will enjoy a cultural feast with floats and social halls adorned with native plants. Beautiful effects can be achieved by plaiting palm fronds into different patterns, as the variations seem endless. We watched in fascination last evening as one truck after another passed our home filled with what appeared to be palm forests. We knew that many islanders would be working well into the night to transform vehicles into parade floats. We were excited to view this transformation and could hardly wait for the parade. Oh, yes, need I mention, that there will be heaps of traditional food as well? This will not be an easy week for dieters!

This is a celebration of all that says Cook Islands. My favorite banner simply read:

“Our Culture is Our Heritage”

So, we ask that you indulge in one more July parade and we hope that you can catch a bit of the island spirit that we enjoyed today. Might I add, that today’s parade was made all the more enjoyable for us because we now love the people and appreciate their culture.  Isn’t that the way that it should be with friends? 

As usual, we are happy and trying to work hard. We are grateful that you all have been part of the parade of loved ones passing through our lives. Tapiri mai kia mataora to tatou araveianga!

Love, Ward and Susan             Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in the Cooks

The Lady Naomi docking

The Cook Island Flag: New Zealand Flag with the addition of fifteen stars for the fifteen islands in the Cook Island chain.

Most of the floats were decorated with palm branches. This float includes drummers.

A tiny participant

A children's dance troupe

My favorite float

Even the local prison got involved!

Jugglers

From the island of Manihiki. Notice the Tivaivais

I wish you could see how fast he was dancing!

This god was worshiped before the arrival of the Gospel

This float is urging people to "Buy Local"

Some of the local produce

This float is made up entirely of cans and plastic bottles that can be recycled

Tin can men urging everyone to recycle

My friend, the local warrior

No parade is complete without beauty queens

and dancers

and clowns

This is the largest float in the parade. It was sponsored by Arorangi village, which is located on the western side of the island. They call  that part of the island  the wild, wild west and their rugby team in called the Cowboys 

Ka kite! See you next week!

Adventures in Paradise 40

Adventures in Paradise 40

Kia Orana, everyone! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on appreciating what you have and being grateful in the process. My sons have been visiting and I have spent the last few days seeing our little island through their eyes, I have been stuck by the realization that many of the things that they have found so exotic here now seem so commonplace to me. My perspective has changed in the last ten months. I am no longer viewing Rarotonga from the wide-eyed viewpoint of one newly arrived. I have begun to take many of the islands novelties for granted. It’s time for me to rewind and remind myself that I need to appreciate all that makes this rock special. Perhaps a tourist-eye view of life in general would be a healthy perspective.

President Gordon B. Hinckley taught us about his “B-attitudes” and the one that I would like to bring into focus here is that part of us that should always be grateful. I don’t wish to spend the rest of my time on this island or the remainder of my life missing, ignoring or under appreciating the gifts that I have been given. This last week, I have been reminded to stop, look and listen. I have been reminded not to just see, but to observe. I have been reminded to appreciate and be grateful. How lovely to see things here  as though for the first time.

The ocean changes color during the day as the tide washes in and out. There are so many living creatures in the water that I never even knew existed before my arrival. There are pink and blue parrot fish, blue starfish and octopi that change color so that they can blend in with the rocks. With my son Travis, I took time to gaze over the sea wall and watch with him as an octopus morphed from one shape to another. I watched in amazement as this creature  adapted to suit his surroundings. His color changed and had I not known better, I would have assumed at one point that I was simply looking at a rock on the ocean floor. He (or perhaps she) was lying in wait for an unsuspecting fish to swim by and become his dinner.  I have walked on that sea wall many times in the last ten months, but somewhere along the way, I had lost the curiosity to simply look down. I am grateful for renewed curiosity.

People walk to the beach to watch and snap photos of the sunset. One minute after the sun has gone down many disappear, missing the real show. I now know that the best part of the sunset is about fifteen minutes after the sun sinks below the horizon. It is then that the fireworks start and it is blindingly beautiful. I have learned not to turn my back on a setting sun because I will miss something wonderful. Like a snowflake, each sunset is unique and if I start taking them for granted, I will miss the surprise ending. I am grateful that I can look forward to the end of every day here.

A New Zealand navy ship pulled into the harbor and invited everyone to come aboard for a tour. Ward and I took two children with us and we were able to see this ship through their eyes. These children were overwhelmed by the size of the ship and by all of the navigational instruments. We let eleven-year old Helen use our camera and she couldn’t stop taking photos! Standing on the bridge of the Otago, I was able to appreciate the view of the Avarua harbor and the emerald-colored mountains that rose behind it. For a brief few moments, I had a sense of what it would be like to be a Rarotongan returning from sea and catching his first glimpse of home. I am grateful to know how this feels. I am also grateful that we were able to share this experience with children.

Do you know that there are yellow hibiscuses here that bloom every morning and change to orange in the evening? As the sun sets, they are a fiery red- orange to match the sky! Do you know what fun it is to walk out of the door and pick a fresh blossom to put in your hair? Have you ever tried to cut flowers while a goat is chasing you because he thinks the flowers you are holding should be his dinner? A tourist would have sent a postcard home regaling his flower-picking adventures. There would have been a fascinating story to relate at a dinner party about barely escaping with one’s life in the pursuit of a bouquet. Because I have grown accustomed to this kind of thing, I never even mentioned it in my blog. I forgot to take joy in that experience. 

Last night, my son Jared, and his wife Nicole, took our lounge chairs down to the beach. It was dark and I wondered what could possibly be the allure .There was not even a sliver of moon to help light their way. They were, after all, relative newlyweds, so perhaps that was all the reason they needed. Jared and Nicole set their chairs at the waters edge and reclined them. For the next hour, as the waves washed onto the beach, they concentrated on the night sky as a display of shooting stars entertained them. It struck me then, that as a “local”, it had never crossed my mind to spend time at the beach after nightfall. It took the tourists to teach me that wonders don’t cease after dark. You can be sure that tonight, I will be the one dragging my beach chair across the lawn in the dark! I am going to be a tourist in my own back yard!

It has been a sweet experience this week, for me to be able to spend time with my adult sons. Although not a tourist in their lives, I am seeing them with new eyes. As their mother, I have loved them from the moment of their birth. To see them as grown men is another perspective all together. I love and respect them for the men that they have become, while trying to resist the urge to mother them. They do not need to be told to look both ways before they cross the street, but with Rarotongans driving on the “wrong side of the road”, it’s not wasted advice in my opinion. They are now asking if I have remembered to use my sunscreen when that should be my job with them! I am certain that they will read this, but I will tell all of you, confidentially, that I love knowing that they are just in the next room, rather than thousands of miles away. I smile when I hear my boys laughing together over who knows what. We sat in the living room one evening and they just talked about memories of childhood.  As a sat with them and smiled, I also wondered where I was while many of their childhood exploits had taken place. How was it that I was just hearing about them for the first time? How was that possible? What is possible is that they have lives of their own now with adult responsibilities and from my new perspective, I have the pleasure of enjoying them as they now are. And I am grateful.

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. I am grateful to be reminded to take the time to really see and appreciate everything around me. Even the same old surroundings can become new by seeing them from a different perspective. We see you all from a different perspective as well. We appreciate you for the dear friends and family that you have always been, but with so many months and miles separating us, we now see you as part of the reason that we miss home. Thank you for being part of our lives. We promise to see you with our “tourist eyes” when we return. We won’t notice that you have aged or changed in any other way, if you promise to do the same for us!

Love, Ward and Susan                     Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in the Cooks  

Images for the tourist in all of us. Please enjoy!

Yesterdays sunset. There I am by the tree!

A fan palm

Newlyweds

Travis, Jared and Nicole at Muri Beach

A view of Avatiu harbour from on board the Otago

 

This never gets any easier to watch. Hold on little guy!

Thursday afternoon entertainment.

Our evening visitors!

Can you see the octopus?

Seeing the world through a child's eyes. Priceless

  

Adventures in Paradise 39

Adventures in Paradise 39

Kia Orana, everyone! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts concerning the passing of a dear friend.  Linda Moekore did not wake up Monday morning. Sometime during the night or early morning hours, she quietly left her husband and eight-year old daughter behind.

Our phone rang at 7:45 am last Monday. Having just returned from the airport, I was excited at the prospects of spending the next few days with my two sons and daughter-in-law. This excitement quickly changed to despair as I grappled with the message the woman on the other end of the line was trying to deliver. I simply could not wrap my mind around the fact that the friend we had laughed with just the morning before at church was gone. I asked the caller if I had heard correctly and she assured me that I had. This vivacious woman had died in her sleep. Isn’t it curious how quickly one’s emotions can change? One moment , I was so thrilled to have my family together, and the next moment, I was stunned by the thought that someone else’s family had been so drastically altered.

We wondered in our new life here, what was the “proper” thing to do. Should we give our friend, Noo and his daughter space to grieve? Should we rush over and offer help? Should we take food; should we not? Our intent was to show our love and support, but not to breach any island customs. We wondered what to do and how to proceed? Finally, we decided to drive to the Moekore home and see how we could be of service. Perhaps service offered out of love is never misplaced.

As we drove up the narrow road to the Moekore home, we noticed that the little valley was filled with smoke. It is common here, to rake the yard rubbish and set it afire, so we were not surprised to see smoke. We were surprised, however that there was so much of it. Pulling into the yard, we saw over twenty neighbors and church members cleaning the yard. More concerned friends were simply sitting quietly outside the home. As we pulled into the yard, we were motioned over and invited to sit as well. No one spoke. We simply sat in view of the family as a silent support system. It is the island way.

Several women were in the house cleaning and organizing in preparation for the arrival of family from New Zealand. There seemed to be a rhythm to this process; it was clear that it had all been done before. During the morning, more and more people arrived and were greeted with silent nods of acknowledgement. There were friends from the neighborhood, church, and from Highland Paradise, where Linda was a hostess. It was silent and it was touching. It is the island way.

Late in the morning, the branch president spoke to those gathered and explained the process of the next few days. FHE that night would proceed as scheduled, but would take place at this home. Friends were invited to arrive at six. There would be singing and those wishing to speak were invited to do so. It was understood that a plate of some kind would be welcomed to help feed those in attendance. There were no special assignments given, no talk about how much food would be needed or how big the ham should be. It is the island way.

It was a very sweet and spiritual evening. Many spoke personally to the family of their love for Linda. Some spoke of the Gospel plan, still others shared testimonies. One person said something that I will never forget. He spoke about how we all have a future, even Linda has a future. She has not ceased to be, she has just moved on. She has a future and we all do too. This is not just the island way. It is what we believe. Later songs were sung and the most touching for me personally, was “I Am a Child of God” sung in Maori. As  night descended, those present shared a community meal. There was no ham or funeral potatoes, rather the usual fare of curry, taro, ruko, fish and chicken was served. And as usual, there was more than enough for everyone and some to leave for the family. This is the island way.

We learned last night that one sweet couple has stayed at the house, since Monday. They are there if anything  needs to be done. They are there “just in case”. They have been sleeping on the floor and quietly being supportive. They are both over seventy. They are not complaining about stiff backs or lack of a comfortable bed. They are doing what needs to be done. It is the island way. I should mention, here, that Noo was the man we mentioned many blogs ago when we were speaking about our American friend who was hospitalized here. We wrote about the thoughtful islander who sat quietly in the corner of our friend’s hospital room. He brought in breakfast. He was there out of respect for our friend and was there “just in case” something was needed. We were touched that he had taken a day off from work to perform this service for someone he didn’t even know. This is the island way.

So, the funeral is tomorrow. Linda will be brought home tonight for one last evening in the house she loved. She will be carried to the church Saturday morning for what I am certain will be a touching, yet difficult funeral. After the service, she will be carried to the the family burial ground across the street from her home and we will all say goodbye. We will then all walk back to the house where there will be yet one more kai kai in her honor. This is the island way.

So, as always, we are happy and trying to work hard. We are grateful for Linda Moekore and the life that she lived. We are grateful that she is our friend. We are grateful for all of you as well and the place that you have in our lives. You are also in our hearts. Our hearts are filled with love for all of you and for the lives that you live. It is our way.

Love, Ward and Susan                             Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in the Cooks

Noo, Linda and Tereapii Moekore last month at Tereapii's baptism. We love you all!

Linda, we will miss you

Adventures in Paradise 38

Adventures in Paradise 38

Kia Orana, everyone!  Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts and observations on kissing.  Did I get your attention? I hope so! Actually, the focus here is how we all go about the process of greeting each other, and the sincerity of a real welcome.

Several years ago, as I stood in the Madrid airport, I watched with fascination as people were greeting each other. It was my first trip abroad and I was feeling very “uncosmopolitan”.  Every where that I looked, smartly-dressed men and women were  embracing  each other with a welcome kiss on both cheeks. I felt like a country bumpkin. Earlier, as my host approached me, I had offered him a firm handshake in greeting. It then occurred to me that this was a huge social faux pas, as this man seemed to have no idea what to do with that handshake. I suddenly became aware of my surroundings and realized, with some dismay that no one was shaking hands. Everyone was kissing someone else! At that moment in time, I was very uncomfortable with kissing a stranger, even if only on the cheek and I could not imagine ever getting past my uneasiness related to greeting anyone in that way. How times and my attitude have changed since then!

The traditional greeting here is a kiss on the right cheek. If you are greeting a stranger, a quick buss on the cheek will do and you are new friends. If you are greeting an old friend or family, the kiss is heartfelt and is often accompanied by a hug of epic proportions. It’s easy to tell in what esteem the kisser holds you. The longer the kiss and the bigger the hug, the happier they are to see you. I have learned that wearing post earrings is hazardous to my health as I have had more than one hug that has imbedded that post into my neck! Even in pain, I wouldn’t dream of pulling away and risk offending my friend. I have learned to appreciate this gesture for what it is and to just change earrings. If someone is happy to see me I am thrilled!

I have grown used to the cheek kissing and the hugs and will miss them when I leave here. These greetings instantly promote a closeness and an intimacy that I feel is lacking in a handshake. One is immediately drawn into an awareness of others, and just like a handshake, each persons kisses are a little different. Some friends here pat my face as well, and make wonderful eye contact. The little children often throw their arms around our necks for a prolonged and often sticky smooch. The exchange between men and women can be more complicated (well there is a metaphor for life, if I ever uttered one!) and can involve a form of a handshake while leaning in to touch cheeks. With good friends, however the same basic rules apply and there is a lovely quick kiss on the cheek accompanied by a smile. These greetings instantly break down barriers and promote closeness and it is a very sweet experience to be part of this custom. We now are even experiencing people blowing us a kiss as we pass on the road. How wonderful!

It seems that the Polynesians have known for generations how important it is for human beings to have that personal sort of interaction. New mothers world wide, are now being encouraged to foster skin-to-skin contact with their babies as a way of bonding with them. Our new friends here, are way ahead of that learning curve. For many years, I displayed a poem in my kitchen, entitled “A Cookie and a Kiss”. This poem talked about how important it was to greet a returning child with a cookie and a kiss. It also spoke of not being concerned about whether the boy brought home a puppy or a bug. He should always be greeted with a hug.  Perhaps my simple version of that poem for our life here could be:

A Polynesian when greeting

Would feel quite remiss

If the welcome were a handshake

Instead of a kiss!

Well, you get the message. We love the warmth of the people here and feel of their love in so many ways. There are kisses, and hugs. There are waves from passing motor scooters and from children along the side of the road. There are children calling “ELDER!” as we drive along and we always turn the van around to say hello to them. I’m sure this has nothing to do with their hope that we might have some American candy with us. No, not possible! We love sitting next to someone and having them put a friendly arm around us. Those who have come for a visit have experienced that same openness. You never forget that feeling of truly being welcome. 

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. We have missed you all and can’t wait until we “Cook Islanders” can greet you in true Polynesian fashion. Please be prepared to lean in for a kiss on the right cheek and receive a huge hug. Ladies, for your safety, you may also want to consider not wearing post earrings. It’s just a thought………………..

We hope all is well with all of you and want to suggest that in our honor, you hug the person nearest to you.

Love, Ward and Susan                      Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in the Cooks



Meet four of my dear friends

Peka

  

Sharon

Leanne  

Tere

Hugs and kisses from us until next week  

Adventures in Paradise 37

Adventures in Paradise 37

Kia Orana, everyone! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts concerning time. We are finally learning to accept and to some extent, understand the island way of reckoning time. We are learning not to worry so much about what the clock says.  We are learning to “go with the flow” and we have become more relaxed in the process.

Relating the events of our week here may help you to see through our eyes, the challenges and humor associated with adapting to island time. We were invited to a wedding with my cake as the guest of honor. The marriage was scheduled for four in the afternoon on a hot and slightly humid (understatement here) Thursday. We trooped up a narrow path to the house, balancing our precious cargo as we went and arrived at five minutes to four. Having deposited the cake on the table provided, we noticed that we were the first guests! Did we have the time wrong? Was this the correct day? Where was everyone? To make our long story short, the marriage did not actually begin until well after five. As I was waiting in the heat, I watched in dismay as my cake started reacting to the heat and the humidity. It was going south! I finally asked a passing relative of the bride to please refrigerate the cake until the wedding “actually” was about to begin. When the cake returned, it was frozen!

Thinking that the wedding might actually begin at its appointed hour, and factoring in the feast to follow, with the accompanying speeches, we had assumed that it would be safe to schedule another appointment for eight o’clock that evening. As the kai kai and toasts went on and on, it became increasing apparent that we would need to leave early to keep to our schedule. When there was a momentary lull in the speakers, I stood up and gave a toast of my own. In it, I congratulated the bride and groom and wished them a wonderful life. I then explained the reason we needed to be going and apologized for our early departure. Running down the muddy hill in the dark, with my sandals slipping all the way, I kept my fingers crossed that we were not going to be late for our next appointment.

While I relate that I was trying to remain calm throughout this evening, I will admit to feeling a certain amount of pressure to be on time. Rarotongans have no sense of this kind of frustration! We arrived at home at one minute to eight. Whew! We made it. All is well. You may not be surprised to hear that we began yet another vigil. Finally, after waiting for over thirty minutes, I texted (yes, I have learned this art) Chad, our missing person, only to be told that he could not make it and could he reschedule for the next day at seven?  Had I been in America, I might have suggested that we would have appreciated a call so as not to leave us wondering, but that is not the way it works here. Oh well………….

On Friday, we began watching for our visitors at the appointed time. Seven o’clock came and went and we began what Ward and I have come to call our “Island Countdown”.  Starting with the actual scheduled time of arrival we now assume that in the first half hour, the person is probably just late. So from seven to seven-thirty, we presumed that Chad would be coming any minute. From seven-thirty to eight o’clock, we had to consider the possibility that Chad might be late or not coming at all.  From eight to eight thirty, it seemed likely that Chad would not be coming and by nine o’clock, we felt safe in thinking that we could turn down the lights and consider looking for our fuzzy slippers. Chad and his family arrived with no explanation or apology at nine-thirty. We smiled, welcomed them in and pushed the slippers under the nearest chair.

I could encapsulate the rest of the week by simply stating that not one of our appointments took place at the expected time. We have mentioned before that we have learned to expect and accept the unexpected. If we were not learning to adapt, we could be real danger of losing our grip on reality, but again that is just the way it is.

I have learned valuable lessons over the years from those who are far wiser than I. I have learned to slow down and appreciate that events happen in their own due course. Several years ago, I found an article on Timing written by Elder Dallin Oaks that literally saved my life. For a period of time copies of that article were posted in every room in my home. I looked to that article as a constant source of direction. I did not learn to be more passive while waiting for something to “happen” to me. Rather, I learned to appreciate a timetable that might not be my own. I have become more peaceful, which is not to be confused with complacency. I have learned to slow down and trust.  By doing this, I have had remarkable experiences in being in just the right place at just the right time. One could regard these experiences as mere coincidences, but for me, I recognize them as evidence of things that occur due to proper timing.

Earlier this week, I had a sudden urge to visit the Cook Island library. I had never been there before, but I was certain that I “needed” to go there that day. We had a young mother with us who was without transport and we were helping her run some errands. This woman, the mother of three young children, was struggling to find employment to help support her family, but did not want a full-time job or one that would leave her baby in the care of someone else. What she needed was a job scheduled for times when her husband could be home. Jobs like that are almost impossible to find.   While we were driving, we brainstormed ideas of where she might look.  While we were discussing employment ideas, I asked if it were open, would she would mind my stopping at the library. She accompanied me into a very small building. While I wandered somewhat aimlessly though stacks of musty books, I was vaguely aware that LeAnn was speaking with someone. After I left a donation in the form of a library card application, we returned to the van.  As we walked into the sunlight from the dimly-lit library, I noticed that LeAnn had tears in her eyes and was smiling. The assistant librarian, upon recognizing LeAnn, had offered her a job managing a shop at Saturday market! What timing! Oh, yes, I should say, that yesterday I returned to the library to donate some books that friends have brought to me. It was the same time of the day as our earlier visit, but the library was closed.

So, as usual, we are happy and trying to work hard. We love our island, our new friends and their ways. People here suggest that you should all slow down and stop the all your worry about time. It is all relative, after all. Enjoy life and those around you. I doubt that I will ever fully adapt to the island timetable, but I am learning to appreciate the way it is here. I can honestly say that each of you has come into our lives at exactly the right time and we are grateful for that. Each of your e-mails arrives at the exact right moment and while you may recall our blog about the worn out shoes, you might also remember that the same day that blog was sent; I received a package from my friend Ida. That package contained two new pairs of sandals! The person who said, “It’s’ all in the timing”, was correct in my opinion. So until next time, Ka kite.

Love, Ward and Susan                  Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in the Cooks

We bought this clock at Saturday market. It says it all, don't you think?