Adventures in Paradise 16

Adventures in Paradise 16

Kia orana, everyone! Our excellent adventure continues with a disclaimer and an apology to Vincent Price and Vivien Leigh. My island brain seems to have its’ wires crossed, and for some reason, having remembered the line, “I have always depended on the kindness of strangers”, I mistakenly thought that Mr. Price had been the speaker. As per my request several of you helped to set the record straight, by indentifying both the speaker and the movie. Keith Merrill, my brother, Tod, Wendy Beall and Kathy Stoker correctly indentified the movie as “A Streetcar Named Desire” and informed me that Vivien Leigh had played the role of Blanch Dubois, and had  made that line famous. I really did know this in another lifetime, but to those of you too polite to correct me, please note that I now have perfect recall. One can easily understand how I could have confused Vincent with Vivien. It was an honest mistake. Can you imagine that?

Last week, I mentioned that a friend was in the hospital. I related examples of the thoughtfulness of the people here. Sadly, this friend had to have emergency surgery. This can be a frightening situation in the best of circumstances, but to be in a foreign country, surrounded by strangers, it can be terrifying. Early on the morning of the surgery, our friend, Noo, arrived at the hospital on his scooter carrying breakfast for our friend’s wife. He had plans to spend the day, “just in case” something was needed. He was not asked to do this, rather,  he did it because someone was in distress. We later found that he was to have begun a new job that morning, but delayed his work so as to be of comfort, Can you imagine that?

Later that same morning, we picked up our friend’s son and daughter-in-law at the airport. They had hastily arranged the trip to be with their parents and had not thought about living arrangements once they arrived. Upon hearing of their arrival, Elizabeth Lobb, another of our friends here, provided both a home rent free and the use of a car for as long as they were needed. Elizabeth also delivered handmade eis (leis) to welcome this family. Can you imagine that?

We continue to be concerned about our friend and his progress, but he knows that many people on this island are concerned for him as well. He appreciates their prayers on his behalf and understands that it is the island way for people to quietly come by to pay their respects. These visitors do not expect to be engaged in conversation with the patient, nor would they expect him to be awake or even aware that they are present. It is enough that they have been there. That is all. Can you imagine that?

We arrived home the other day to find another fruit delivery. We had remarked to someone that we were almost out of bananas (I am learning to be very careful about what I say) and that we were craving fresh pineapple. The accompanying photo is all the description you will need!  We will just ask if you can imagine that?

We have mentioned that family is all important to these people. Family takes in a lot of territory here and can include almost anyone. Everyone seems to be someone’s cousin, auntie or uncle. You can become family simply by spending a lot of time at someone’s home. No one is ever turned away; they are family. Adoption is almost unheard of here because of something called a “Feeding Family”. We have heard terms such as   “feeding mother’, and “feeding father”, and wondered what in the world they meant. A feeding parent is someone who takes in a child, then feeds and raises them. The child is considered family, but they feel here, that adoption would limit the younster’s ability to enjoy more than one family’s love. So these children are loved, fed, taught, housed and nurtured, with no thought of keeping them away from their biological parents. Can you imagine that? 

We seem to be more popular here, than when we first arrived. Many people just show up on our doorstep unannounced, which is the island way. I always ask whether they have come to see us or do they simply want to visit the air-con. Most homes here do not have air conditioning and we just realized that at least half of the people we know do not have hot water. You can consider the ramifications of that statement on your own! Last night, I put on my robe three times, thinking that it was the end of my day, but I was wrong and I have become a quick-change artist of sorts. Last night, we had three separate sets of unannounced guests and one young couple stayed until well after midnight! When it was time to go, Tariu, simply woke up his wife and helped her to their scooter. Oh, yes, he had to wake up Ward too! Can you imagine that?

We had a wonderful weekend visit from Elders Hamula and Costa. I would like to relate the events of their visit in our next blog, as this one is getting a little lengthy. But,  I would just like to share with you at this point, that these elders met with the prime minister of the Cook Islands and even gave him a Priesthood blessing where he was blessed to make wise decisions for the country. The well-being of the Cook Islands was also included in that blessing. The Elders asked the Prime Minister if there was any way that the church could help the country. Can you imagine that?

As an addendum, I would like to add that it is just before seven o’clock a.m. here. As I was finishing this blog, I heard a car in our drive. Wearing my robe (again), I went to the door to see who had arrived. It was one of our friends with a bag of beautiful mangos. Tunui Varu stopped by to see how our friend is doing after surgery and to deliver fresh fruit for our breakfast. He gave me a hug and was off to work.

Can you imagine that?

As usual, we are happy and trying to work hard. We now feel so much at home that we are starting to make fun of the papa'a (white people) tourists. We are certain that we never looked so lost or so bewildered as they do. We can’t remember ever being so confused about the lack of addresses and we know that we were never that PALE!! Who are these people, anyway?  We are now “locals” who are driving on the only true side of the road and who are checking to see if the mangos and breadfruit are ripe. Can you imagine that?

Love, Susan and Ward       Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in the Cook Islands

Elder Hamula and Elder and Sister Costa meeting with the Prime Minister

Pets or dinner?

Our meal was late one evening, then these little pigs ran by. I couldn't help wonder if our dinner had been delayed in "traffic"!

The Air New Zealand flight landing. It's sooooo close!

A weekly pasttime for the locals is to see how close the plane will get before landing. 

A family project. They are harvesting the taro.

Our latest fruit delivery: A "few" bananas, five baby pineapples, passionfruit and mangos! 

Adventures in Paradise 15

 

Adventures in Paradise 15

Kia orana, everyone! Our excellent adventure continues with a vague recollection of a line from an old movie. Memory may fail me, but I seem to recall Vincent Price telling someone that he had always relied on the kindness of strangers.  If anyone can enlighten me on the movie or the exact quote, I will be happy to give you complete credit! For now, it is enough to acknowledge that thoughtfulness from strangers exists in abundance here.

Saturday morning, we received an emergency phone call from a friend serving on another island. Her husband had suddenly taken ill and needed to be flown to Rarotonga, where he could receive much needed medical care. We met them at the airport and took them immediately to the hospital. I might interject, that the hospital here, is very primitive by American standards and we have actually prayed that we would never need its services! It wasn’t long before the “coconut wireless” had spread the news that someone was in trouble. Long before the doctor arrived, our friends had their first concerned visitors. Knowing that the hospital could not supply many basic items, these strangers presented our friend with fresh fruit, juice and a simple meal for his wife. Oh, yes, did I fail to mention the watermelon?  Later, when Ward and I returned to check in with our friends, we found three women, again total strangers to our patient, quietly keeping watch over him as he slept. They arrived with two bags of groceries and I was astonished to see what they had thoughtfully delivered. Knowing that  the family must supply most of the  the patient’s meals, they had included cold cereal, milk, cookies, canned fruit, bread, chips, crackers, and treats of all kinds. Being aware, also that drinking cups and cutlery are not generally provided, they delivered them as well. Our friends were touched by the concern of these strangers. They also sang hymns to him in the quiet of the evening.

As I was leaving the hospital that first night, I happened to notice that a woman I knew was also a patient. As I visited with her, I introduced her to my friend and we happened to mention in passing that we had not been aware that the hospital did not supply gowns or soap or towels. After being released the next morning, this woman returned with those items and some other items to make their stay more comfortable. Johanna, also offered the use of her cell phone and wanted to help in any other way that she could. Although familiar with the island ways, our friends, were touched by the kindness of people whom they did not know and who knew nothing of them other than they needed assistance. They came and went quietly without ever leaving a name or any way of being thanked. This has been such an example to us of selflessness. 

After posting last week’s blog, we were amazed by how many of our readers chose to comment on the difference between needing and wanting. This subject seemed to have hit close to home with a lot of people and the comments were heart warming. Our friend, Lynn, wrote to us about a similar situation that he had experienced in Tonga. There, a family sold everything they owned, just to get to the temple. When they returned home, they had nothing and were in need of a place to live. We have included a photo of the very humble tin shed that they built for their family. They lived a life in that shed of peace and gratitude for the blessings that they enjoyed. Thank you, Lynn for sharing with us.

We have had our more lighthearted moments as well. Our mission president came to visit  the island and when we introduced our young friend, John to President Smith, John asked, “Are you Joseph Smith”?!  Well, at least he had been paying attention in primary!

We were visiting with a young couple who were teasing Ward. Actually, they were trying to out-tease Ward, which is almost impossible. At some point a comment was made and Ward replied, “Well, Tarieu, if the shoe fits, wear it”.  I leaned over to Ward and suggested that in a country where shoes are optional, this might not be the most appropriate phrase!

A cute young couple who are expecting their second child informed us that they had named their first child after a former missionary couple. You have seen photos of beautiful Miss Janice Ira Tree Femoni, who is named after Elder Ira and Sister Janice Tree from Salt Lake. I was teasing the young mother that I just  knew that she was going to have a boy and that Susan would make a great name for that baby. Ward informed me that they could very likely take that suggestion seriously and did I really want that responsibility. He suggested that I come up with an alternative idea. The young mother loves my Ray-Bans and once I treated the family to homemade bread and Milo (New Zealand hot chocolate), so now, whenever I refer to the little one, I call him by his new name…….Ray- Ban Milo Femoni. It has a certain ring to it, I think! We will keep you posted when the baby arrives. Let’s see…………I do remember Johnny Cash or was it Jimmy Dean singing about a boy named Sue. Hmmmm…

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. We have seen miracles and tender mercies. We have learned to trust in the Lord’s timing and have seen his hand in the lives of those around us. We have appreciated the goodness that we see in all of you as well as the people here. Our friends here are not the only ones who have been the recipients of the kindness of others. We have experienced this first hand, ourselves. As always, we appreciate your notes and your e-mails and the sweet messages that we receive from you. We are truly grateful for all of you and the influence that you have had and continue to have on our lives. If any of you need help picking out a name for a new family member, I would love to make a suggestion or two!

Please be good to yourselves and each other.

Love, Ward and Susan           Elder and Sister Belliston serving in the Cook Islands

Look! Our ship came in! Actually, this is one of the cruise ships who make frequent stops here.Beautiful!

The "house" in the middle of the photo is the one build by Lynn's friends in Tonga.

Miss Janice Ira Tree Femoni. Her mother, Precella is pregnant with Ray-Ban Milo Femoni!

Our friend, Danny driving his "town car".

Danny is getting closer to town.

Look, carefully and you will see Danny and the beginnings of a traffic jam. That tractor can only go so fast.

Danny holding up traffic!

Adventures in Paradise 14

Adventures in Paradise 14

Kia orana, everyone! Our excellent adventure continues with an epiphany, a paradigm shift, or if you will, a change of perspective. We are learning the difference between needing and wanting! The Rarotongans seem to have known all along, what we are just now discovering.

Ward gave a talk in church a few weeks ago concerning temple attendance. More specifically, he spoke about all of people here, who had traveled to New Zealand to meet with family and to attend the temple. This was an expensive and time-consuming venture and we had wondered to ourselves not only, why they did it, but how they could afford to do such a thing. So, his message evolved into a talk about “Why would they do that?” They spent so much money on a trip when they could have purchased a new scooter or provided Christmas for their family.Why would they do that?  A young woman left the island to be married in the temple in New Zealand. She left most of her friends here and could have had a huge reception had she not spent the money on that trip. Why would she do that? Had they stayed, people could have afforded a huge Kai Kai (feast) for the holidays, but they spent it on a temple trip instead. Why would they do that? One woman answered, speaking for all, when she said, “We didn’t need a feast or a new scooter or a fancy reception or party. We needed to go to the temple. Those other things are just wants and we know the difference.

Our sweet daughter-in-law, Emilee, wrote to say that she was putting together a care package and she wanted to know what we needed. How wonderful, I thought. I will make a long list of the things that we are missing and she can pick a few to send. This was exciting!!! So, I thought and I thought. I asked Ward what he “needed” and we looked blankly at each other and thought some more. I did put in a request for American vanilla right away. Then, I spent the next few days trying to come up with other things that we needed. I even thought about making a want list. I had a vague memory of our first few days here and how I could find nothing familiar in the grocery store. I seem to remember that, on other shopping trips  as well, I was frustrated that I could not find what I needed. But, now given the opportunity of a lifetime, I could think of nothing that we were missing here. What insight! Our life here and this island are just fine the way that they are. We need nothing. We want visitors, but that is another story, all together!

If I were home, and planning a dinner party, I would be spending a lot of time and energy coming up with just the right menu. I would want that meal to be tasty and unique, being different than the last meal that I served my guests. What should it be this time? Here, I was surprised to find that each feast consists of the very same food. What is this? No deviation from the usual menu? How can you get excited about eating the same food over and over again? Let’s see now, there is always pork, chicken, taro, fresh fruit, potato salad ( they call it mayonnaise salad, which says a lot) curry, fish, tapioca and usually, prawns. This is all cooked in an umu, or underground oven. It is almost always exactly the same, yet people always look forward to it. I might add, that this meal comes from the land and there is very little grocery shopping. They are excited for the occasion that brings them together and do not want for anything else.

I have spent some pleasant hours at home rearranging my furniture. I would tell friends that I needed a change. Where should I hang my new painting or what color should I paint my kitchen? What new “creature comforts” did I absolutely need to have a happy life? Now, seeing that some homes here  have no furniture at all, I  am struck by the fact that these homes are no less welcoming to a visitor than I would like mine to be. We include a photo of a very humble home we visited to help you to understand just how little we really need to be happy. In all honesty, I will say that this life here, would be difficult for me long-term, but that is probably because I have missed learning how to appreciate simple. Tonight we taught a lesson while sitting outside another humble home. We sat on a grassy hill under the moonlight, and watched the drifting clouds as we spoke to the family gathered there. My first thought was, “If our friends  could only see us now!”. My  second thought was, “Our friends should really see THIS now!”. I am beginning to be very grateful for my changing perspective.

When we first arrived, I would ask where people lived and the answer would be, “They stay down the road.”  Or “They stay by the beach”. I thought that stay meant that they were visiting, but this is not correct. You cannot buy or sell land here, as it is passed down from family member to family member. You can rent or lease someone else’s property or even that of your family, but it is never really owned. So the term stay really does fit. They stay until they have no more need of it and then it goes to someone else. Even our beautiful mission home property is leased from a Rarotongan family. The lease is up in five years and the land will revert back to the family to do with as they like. The real problem here is that all family members seldom agree on what to do with property and there is usually a dispute over how to handle matters like this. In the case of this property, some members want to continue to lease to the church and others want to turn the property into tourist accommodations. Some say that they “need the money”. We will have to stay turned to see how this turns out!

We attended our first wedding on the island. This bride, who had been embarrassed to ask me for help with a wedding dress, was overwhelmed by the kindness of others. Friends and distant relatives took over the planning and supplied everything from the food (yes, you have guessed the menu) to the flowers, to providing her with a pair of shoes and some black pearls to wear. Someone even supplied some Tivaivai quilts to use as a backdrop at the wedding dinner. This woman, who does so much for others, was having a hard time accepting the help of someone else. We spoke about the need to not only serve others, but to allow others to serve us.  We have included pictures of our friend, Tearooa, and her wedding. We had never seen her happier or looking more beautiful.

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. We want to hear from you, but need you to know that you are always in our hearts. We hope that your new year is progressing nicely and that your needs will be realized.

Love, Ward and Susan              Elder and Sister Belliston, Serving in the Cook Islands

Teora's wedding day and the dress I made for her.

The backdrop for the bridal party table is a collection of Tiviavia quilts.The oblong plate is potato (mayonnaise) salad. This salad is planned to feed eight! 

Teora and our friend,  President Cummings

The happly couple and 90-year old, Mama Freida

Just married!

This flower is too weird! It feels and looks like plastic and smells like sour milk!

My hair is finally long enough to wear island style! It's so much cooler!!

Approaching another humble island home of Aratangi Tangi for FHE

This home had only two chairs. Looking inside, you can see their livingroom/kitchen

Waiting for the feast to begin

These people are living in the tent because they need a new roof. Ward went to help them.

Actually, you might notice that this home needs more than just a roof! Also take a look at the footwear on the workmen. OSHA would not be pleased!

Adventures in Paradise 13

ADVENTURES IN PARADISE 13

Kia orana!  Our excellent adventure continues with a course from the famous “Miss Manners”. Miss Manners wrote a column on etiquette and gracious behavior. She focused on helping the hapless hostess (ah, such illiteration!) solve any social dilemma. Readers would write in with their particular sticky situation and Miss Manners would publish a solution, which was laced with a touch of humor. Miss Manners, however, it is clear, never lived in Rarotonga. So here, for your edification, and hopefully enjoyment is a sampling of letters one might expect Miss Manners to find on her desk. We have included her expert answers along with the expected Rarotongan response.

1. Dear Miss Manners, how many guests should be invited for a well-balanced dinner party. The Answer: Miss Manners suggests that there should never be more guests than can be seated cozily around your dining room table. Rarotongan answer: No chairs, no problem.
2. Dear Miss Manners, my friend always brings her famous Baked Alaska to my dinner parties. I have already planned dessert and do not wish to offend by not serving it. But, I want to be the star at my own party. What should I do?  The answer: Miss Manners suggests that you simply light that Baked Alaska on fire a little ahead of time, and conveniently forget that it’s melting away in your kitchen. Rarotongan answer: Extra dessert? What is the problem?
3. Dear Miss Manners, what should I do when invited guests bring extra people, whom I was not expecting? This throws off the balance of the seating and I worry that there will not be enough food for everyone. We won’t have place cards for everyone!  The answer: Miss Manners, suggests that you keep smiling and seat the guests you invited and let the interlopers look on from a distance. This way, you need say nothing, but everyone will get the message.  Rarotongan answer: Extra guests? What’s the problem?
4. Dear Miss Manners, one of my favorite couples is always at least one hour late for dinner. What shall I do, as I love my friend, but hate cold food? The answer: Miss Manners suggests that you simply sneak into your friends’ home and turn all their clocks ahead an hour or two. As long as they have no contact with the outside world, they will never know the difference and you all will be able to enjoy a hot meal together. The Rarotongan answer: Time is no problem!

Hopefully, Miss Manners would suggest that when in Rome…..well, you know the rest. I would suggest that when in Rarotonga, you need to appreciate the fact that there is no problem. An understanding of the hearts of the Rarotongans would be a huge asset as well. We met with a family on Monday, who had been sleeping at the beach for a week.  They took their meager supply of blankets and pillows and two loaves of bread down to the beach to escape the heat of their small home. Just in passing, they happened to mention that during that week, they never went hungry, as people driving by, would stop and leave some food for them. This was a family of eleven people. I was astounded by this, but they found nothing unusual in this generosity.

Do you remember Jake, who sings at the airport? Yes? Well, the other day, we delivered his Santa hat photo to him along with his part of the poem. He was very excited to receive our small gift. As we were about to drive away, he stopped us and asked, “But what can I give to you”? We waited in the van, expecting some papaya or possibly some bananas. Jake, returned, grinning from ear to ear and presented us with a hind quarter of pork! We have learned that the gifts here are given freely and instead of responding that we couldn’t possibly accept, we just say thank you. We are always grateful.

We have noticed that as we are leaving a home, our hosts will wait in the doorway until we are out of sight. This is a way of showing respect to the visitor. We are trying to remember to do the same with our guests. While it seemed harsh at first to be told to  EAT! or SIT! we now recognize this as their way of saying. “You first, honored guest.” We now know that if we don’t sit first or be first at the table, no one else will be eating or sitting! We have been in homes where there are only one or two chairs or stools, but we know that we must accept them when offered. Along with that stool or chair, they are offering respect.  We never thought that we would find ourselves eating a whole meal, including potato salad and ice cream with our fingers, but we are. Occasionally, someone will bring us utensils out of respect, but we don’t worry about this any more. In Salt Lake, I used to worry about fancy napkin folding. Now, when I am finished with my meal, I either look for a hose or hold my hands out for the rain to wash! In my other lifetime, I would treat myself to a fancy pedicure once in a while. Now, I wonder if I will be able to make it up that muddy hill, barefoot, without falling.  We have learned that our new friends have superb manners when it comes to making guests feel honored. We have never felt more welcome than we do when someone here offers to share with us. I might mention, that our new Tahitian elder, was so cheeky as to suggest that I could use my earrings as spoons. He was joking, or at least that’s what he says, but he has given me a great idea. I am going to make a million dollars when I come home by marketing the world’s first earring- spoon combination! Miss Manners would undoubtedly suggest that good manners begin by having a good heart.

We held a branch FHE at our backyard and beach on Monday. Most everyone in the branch attended and it was a lovely evening. We have included pictures to make you all jealous! As usual, at the last minute, I was asked to present a short lesson. Later I learned that President Cummings had asked Ward first and he graciously suggested that I would be honored to do it instead. Honored should be translated to panicked! I heard myself talking about 1^st Nephi where Nephi says that he was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand where he should go. The first word in the next verse is Nevertheless, which speaks to our listening to the guidance and following it.  Elder, “Oh, please dear, you go first”, was smiling peacefully out of the reach of his surprised wife! It was a lovely evening and the rain didn’t begin until after sundown in our own personal Camelot! 

Yesterday, we were sad to say goodbye to Elder Barnett, who is returning to Tahiti to finish his mission. This gives him another chance to use his French before returning home to Washington State. Elder Barnett worked hard and was diligent in his service. He took us under his wing when we first arrived and we felt like the junior companions. We have learned so much from him. On our first day here, as we went to visit members, we stopped to visit an elderly woman and her young grandson. It was a nice little visit and I was halfway back to the van, ready to move on, when I heard Elder Barnett ask this woman if there was anything that we could do for her! I am sorry to say that it never occurred to me to ask that question and I was ashamed. I have never made that mistake again. This young man taught by example and we will miss him. Oh, by the way, when you arrive here, you are presented with flower eis (leis), but because flowers are not allowed on the airplane, people leaving the island are presented with shell eis. It is most appropriate that these eis, be gifts that someone else gave you first. We were able to present Elder Barnett with two beautiful Tahitian shell eis that we had received earlier. We wish him a wonderful and successful life!

 We have big news to share this week! On January 22, we will be visited by Elder Hamula, who is assistant to Elder Tad Callister, who is our South Pacific Area President. He will be accompanied by Elder Costa. of The Presidency of the Seventy. Elder Hamula visits every six months or so, but never in recent memory has one of The Presidency of the Seventy visited the island. As you can imagine, people are very excited and speculation is rampant as to the purpose of his visit. Ward and I are thrilled to know that in company with our two young elders, we will meet with these men at our home for two hours! We are tying to prepare answers to any questions that we might be asked. We will share our experiences with you in a later blog.

Oh, yes, we wanted to mention that although it is summer, it is also cyclone season. We have had very little wind, but we have had drenching rains. This does not stop life here by any means and since the rain is needed so desperately for crops, it is referred to as liquid sunshine. How lovely! Oh, yes, people are so relaxed here, that we heard the other day of a man who fell asleep while riding on his scooter. He ran into a tree, which did finally wake him up! He stood up brushed himself off and away he went. The term “Sleepy Little Village” really does apply here.

Well, as usual, we are happy and trying to work hard.  We have several people that we are teaching at the moment and hope to work with others in the near future. You are all in our thoughts and prayers and we hope that this New Year finds you looking forward to a bright future. We love and miss you all. Miss Manners would find me remiss if I did not suggest that our door is always open.

Love, Ward and Susan          Elder and Sister Belliston serving in the Cook Islands

Hiking to Sunday Dinner. The Van is parked at the bottom of this muddy hill. 

Volleyball on our back lawn at the branch party

Beautiful women at our beach party

Standing on the beach looking back at the feast

A young "social climber".

Another cute kid!

Our backyard turned into a carpark

Can you imagine your guests parking on your lawn? Here, No Problem!

One of our bathing beauties.

Elders Barnett and Tahiata enjoying a casual moment at the party 

Getting into the swim of things! The white that you see in the water is the reef. The water inside the reef is calm and clear and perfect for snorkeling.