blackrockbulletin: Adventures in Paradise 14

Adventures in Paradise 14

Kia orana, everyone! Our excellent adventure continues with an epiphany, a paradigm shift, or if you will, a change of perspective. We are learning the difference between needing and wanting! The Rarotongans seem to have known all along, what we are just now discovering.

Ward gave a talk in church a few weeks ago concerning temple attendance. More specifically, he spoke about all of people here, who had traveled to New Zealand to meet with family and to attend the temple. This was an expensive and time-consuming venture and we had wondered to ourselves not only, why they did it, but how they could afford to do such a thing. So, his message evolved into a talk about “Why would they do that?” They spent so much money on a trip when they could have purchased a new scooter or provided Christmas for their family.Why would they do that? A young woman left the island to be married in the temple in New Zealand. She left most of her friends here and could have had a huge reception had she not spent the money on that trip. Why would she do that? Had they stayed, people could have afforded a huge Kai Kai (feast) for the holidays, but they spent it on a temple trip instead. Why would they do that? One woman answered, speaking for all, when she said, “We didn’t need a feast or a new scooter or a fancy reception or party. We needed to go to the temple. Those other things are just wants and we know the difference.

Our sweet daughter-in-law, Emilee, wrote to say that she was putting together a care package and she wanted to know what we needed. How wonderful, I thought. I will make a long list of the things that we are missing and she can pick a few to send. This was exciting!!! So, I thought and I thought. I asked Ward what he “needed” and we looked blankly at each other and thought some more. I did put in a request for American vanilla right away. Then, I spent the next few days trying to come up with other things that we needed. I even thought about making a want list. I had a vague memory of our first few days here and how I could find nothing familiar in the grocery store. I seem to remember that, on other shopping trips as well, I was frustrated that I could not find what I needed. But, now given the opportunity of a lifetime, I could think of nothing that we were missing here. What insight! Our life here and this island are just fine the way that they are. We need nothing. We want visitors, but that is another story, all together!

If I were home, and planning a dinner party, I would be spending a lot of time and energy coming up with just the right menu. I would want that meal to be tasty and unique, being different than the last meal that I served my guests. What should it be this time? Here, I was surprised to find that each feast consists of the very same food. What is this? No deviation from the usual menu? How can you get excited about eating the same food over and over again? Let’s see now, there is always pork, chicken, taro, fresh fruit, potato salad ( they call it mayonnaise salad, which says a lot) curry, fish, tapioca and usually, prawns. This is all cooked in an umu, or underground oven. It is almost always exactly the same, yet people always look forward to it. I might add, that this meal comes from the land and there is very little grocery shopping. They are excited for the occasion that brings them together and do not want for anything else.

I have spent some pleasant hours at home rearranging my furniture. I would tell friends that I needed a change. Where should I hang my new painting or what color should I paint my kitchen? What new “creature comforts” did I absolutely need to have a happy life? Now, seeing that some homes here have no furniture at all, I am struck by the fact that these homes are no less welcoming to a visitor than I would like mine to be. We include a photo of a very humble home we visited to help you to understand just how little we really need to be happy. In all honesty, I will say that this life here, would be difficult for me long-term, but that is probably because I have missed learning how to appreciate simple. Tonight we taught a lesson while sitting outside another humble home. We sat on a grassy hill under the moonlight, and watched the drifting clouds as we spoke to the family gathered there. My first thought was, “If our friends could only see us now!”. My second thought was, “Our friends should really see THIS now!”. I am beginning to be very grateful for my changing perspective.

When we first arrived, I would ask where people lived and the answer would be, “They stay down the road.” Or “They stay by the beach”. I thought that stay meant that they were visiting, but this is not correct. You cannot buy or sell land here, as it is passed down from family member to family member. You can rent or lease someone else’s property or even that of your family, but it is never really owned. So the term stay really does fit. They stay until they have no more need of it and then it goes to someone else. Even our beautiful mission home property is leased from a Rarotongan family. The lease is up in five years and the land will revert back to the family to do with as they like. The real problem here is that all family members seldom agree on what to do with property and there is usually a dispute over how to handle matters like this. In the case of this property, some members want to continue to lease to the church and others want to turn the property into tourist accommodations. Some say that they “need the money”. We will have to stay turned to see how this turns out!

We attended our first wedding on the island. This bride, who had been embarrassed to ask me for help with a wedding dress, was overwhelmed by the kindness of others. Friends and distant relatives took over the planning and supplied everything from the food (yes, you have guessed the menu) to the flowers, to providing her with a pair of shoes and some black pearls to wear. Someone even supplied some Tivaivai quilts to use as a backdrop at the wedding dinner. This woman, who does so much for others, was having a hard time accepting the help of someone else. We spoke about the need to not only serve others, but to allow others to serve us. We have included pictures of our friend, Tearooa, and her wedding. We had never seen her happier or looking more beautiful.

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. We want to hear from you, but need you to know that you are always in our hearts. We hope that your new year is progressing nicely and that your needs will be realized.

Love, Ward and Susan Elder and Sister Belliston, Serving in the Cook Islands

Teora's wedding day and the dress I made for her.

The backdrop for the bridal party table is a collection of Tiviavia quilts.The oblong plate is potato (mayonnaise) salad. This salad is planned to feed eight!