Adventures in Paradise 24

Adventures in Paradise 24

Kia orana, everyone! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on what home feels like to us.  Late last week, after the excitement of the tsunami threat had died down, I felt rather deflated. I was tired, but it was more than that. I felt an emptiness that I had not previously experienced. What had caused this change in temperament? I could not identify this new emotion, until I suddenly and with much clarity, realized that I was homesick.  One would surmise that this homesickness might be caused by the absence of friends and family. But, although those people who are dear to me are always in my thoughts, I realized that I was missing the way home feels. Home for each of us is made up of bits and pieces. It’s a puzzle, that when put together, forms the background of who and where we are. There is a yearning for what feels comfortable to us. At this moment, I find that I am homesick for that feeling.

Gloves, sweaters, green shoots in the garden, tulips

A cold glass of milk, crunching autumn leaves, mountains, snow

Strawberries, parades, going for a drive, first signs of spring, lawnmowers

Football games, hotdogs and baseball, crowds, mailboxes

Laird Park on a Saturday morning, white eggs, walking to church, bathtubs

Boots, newspapers on the porch, brick houses, campfires

Saturday morning garage sales, live theater, hummingbirds, geese

Mountain air, eyeliner, the Sunday crossword, Aggie ice cream

Quilts and down comforters, ice crystals, pine trees, waiting in line

Decorated lampposts, sidewalks, Hires drive- in, fireplaces

Crickets, convertible rides, the American flag, geraniums

Crisp mornings, hazy October afternoons, pumpkins, boutiques

Goodies on the doorstep, phone messages, neighbors, friends and family

Long car trips, canyon streams, sounds of a skateboard, vanilla

Walks with a friend,” Dancing with the Stars”, old movies, popcorn

Swiss days in Midway, Peach days in Brigham, Onion Days, Days of 47

Well, I could go on, but you get the picture, or I should say, you get my picture.  The simple act of writing everything down was very cathartic, and I enjoyed the process. Our  lives are also made up of simple acts of kindness that become part of our puzzle as well.

Tonight, we invited a Fijian couple to dinner. We have been guests in their home several times and always they share their meal with us, or at least a cup of Milo. Eat!!!  They have very little, but have always been very generous with what they did have and we wanted to return the favor. I was in the kitchen making preparations for a chicken-stir fry, when I noticed their car coming down the drive. They were early! That never happens here! Then I noticed Sarajh waving a dishtowel out of the car window, and shouting, “Stop, stop!”  Moments later, Sarajh and her husband burst into the house bringing dinner with them. She had been calling for me to stop cooking. They felt that since we had come thousands of miles to serve them, the least that they could do was serve us dinner, even in our own home.

This is just one of many acts of kindness that we have experienced here on Rarrotonga. These simple gestures transform into more pieces of our puzzle. We seldom have to buy fresh fruit, as it simply shows up on our doorstep. Our six-going on seven-year old friend Elizabeth, wanted to have her birthday party on our veranda so that we could share her birthday cake. Fresh flowers miraculously appear at our home and we receive more dinner invitations than we can schedule. Friends wave to us as we pass on the road and everyone is always greeted with a kiss on the cheek. This little dot in the middle of the Pacific Ocean has now become part of what we think of as home.

These simple acts of kindness have also been a way of life in our Salt Lake neighborhood. Neighbors take care of one another in quiet, thoughtful ways. I cannot count the number of loaves of bread or casseroles or treats that have crisscrossed our blocks. There are countless notes and phone calls of support when one is in need. There are offers of transport (whoops a Cook island phrase) and concerned friends when someone is ill. It is snow shoveled by an invisible helper or treats left anonymously on a doorstep. Home is all of this and more and it’s our pleasure to be part of this. We would not, for a moment, suggest that “our” neighborhood is unique, far from it. What we would suggest is that thoughtfulness exists everywhere and that your experiences have been much the same as ours. We are all better for having known each other. It makes us feel at home.

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. You may not realize it, but you are all pieces of our puzzle as well. We cherish the role that you play in our lives. We would not be the same without you. You are part of what feels like home to us.  We hope that you might take a moment and perhaps make a mental list of what home feels like to you as well. If you would like to share some of your thoughts of home, we would love to include them in our next blog.  We can only hope that we are included on that list.

Love, Ward and Susan                    Elder and Sister Belliston serving in the Cook Islands  

Our Rarotongan puzzle pieces.

Spectatular sunsets

Tranquil views of the ocean

Truckbed bands

Fresh fruit deliveries

Our busy metropolis

A light drizzle

A gentle breeze

A birthday girl

Island children

Local history and scenic sights

Warm island welcomes   

Adventures in Paradise 23

Adventures in Paradise 23

Kia orana, everyone!  Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on the things that matter the most.  Last Friday, we were awakened by a very early morning phone call urging us to move  up to the hospital, which is located  on higher ground. The devastating earthquake in Japan had triggered tsunami warnings for much of the world. Although Rarotonga is a very long way from Japan, we knew that we needed to take this warning seriously. Ward asked me what I thought we should take with us and that question gave rise to the focus of this blog.

What would you choose to take if you had less than an hour to decide? What would be most helpful? What would be most valuable? What might you miss the most? What could you never replace. What things matter the most?

It was dark when we drove up the hill and entered the hospital grounds. The Rarotonga hospital sits on a lush green hillside overlooking the ocean. It actually has one of the most beautiful views on the island. We were very surprised to see that over three hundred people had already arrived. Many families had literally camped out on the grounds and were asleep. Some others were packed into the back of pickup trucks. Still others were quietly standing, talking in hushed tones, while facing the view of the ocean. I was struck by how calm and peaceful this scene was. It was almost surreal. Everyone was there for the same reason, but no one was speaking of the tsunami. Many were frightened, but most were voicing concern for the Japanese who we knew were suffering so much. There was a reverence there, that I had not expected. There was no laughing, no children playing noisy games, no music. There was simply stillness.

In that quiet place, I had a chance to take notice of the manner in which people had arrived. Transport of every description was loaded down with family and those families stayed together in the darkness. I could see that blankets, pillows, sleeping mats and food items had been included. I noticed large water bottles and a family pet or two. As it grew light, I noticed that some people had brought fresh fruit and loaves of bread as well. There were no items of furniture strapped to the roof of any vehicle. There were no TVs tucked into backseats, although I know that many people own them. The occasional laptop computer screen cast an eerie blue glow in the darkness. Several people were crowded around each screen, as they were watching CNN accounts of the events happening in Japan. It occurred to me, that these evacuations are not new to these people and they, long before last Friday morning, had decided what mattered the most to them.

Perhaps our personal choices that morning were made much easier because we had already left many things that mattered most to us back home in America. I can’t really say what we would have chosen had we been home, but at odd moments here, I sometimes wonder how my art work is, or if my new kitchen floor is wearing well.  I wonder if my son is remembering to use a napkin when eating his favorite sandwich in my newly-recovered wing chair. Has he remembered  to use a non- abrasive to clean my glass stove top? Does that all really matter? Would I miss any of those things?  Most anything can be replaced.

So what I saw that early morning speaks volumes to what matters most to people here on our island. Family matters. The rest of the things that we often place value on can be replaced, or if not replaced, not really missed. My family and what I believe in matters the most to me. I will include all the people that I love in that family circle, as I am sure all of you would. How I feel about my Heavenly Father and my Savior matter most to me. The care that we take for  each other, every day, not just when disaster looms, matters. How we choose to live our lives matters. It speaks to the kind of people we are.

So, as you know, the dreaded tsunami did not arrive and we all went home sleepy and thankful. Most, of us, I am sure, said and are still saying prayers for those who were much less fortunate on that day.  I suppose that you may be wondering just what we valued most here last Friday. You may be curious, especially since you know that we brought so little with us, and  we had so little time to decide. As you are perusing our list, I just thought that I might mention that Ward bought me some lovely black pearls for Christmas. (Hint: check the list)

2 bottles of water

Toilet paper

2 pillows

1 bathrobe

Laptop computer

Camera

Eye glasses

Money

Cell phone

Passports

Wards journal

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. Summer is drawing to a close and it is cooler and less humid. We have another baptism scheduled for this Saturday and two for the following Saturday, so Ward may be in danger of becoming water-logged. You may recall that he said that he wasn’t going into the water until we had a baptism! Life here, is back to it’s lazy pace and we love it. Please know that if we had time at home to prepare for a disaster, we would charter a huge bus or train to take all of you with us, because you matter  the most. We hope that the feeling is mutual!

Love, Ward and Susan             Elder and Sister Belliston serving in the Cook Islands

The view from hospital hill at sunrise 

Our two newest little friends, Lucas and Lissa

Lucas is trying to walk in his fathers footsteps

One of these lawn ornaments is real. Guess which one!

This is one place on the island where you can feed the fish and snorkel at the same time

The steps lead to a platform where you can bring your own lunch. It's called the Salt Water Cafe. Notice the half way mark sign. There is another one just like it on the other side of the island.

Kristina and her baby just rode up like this on the scooter. Hold on baby!

Kristina is being baptised in the ocean March 26.

John Jessie is our favorite! He is nine and is being baptised at the end of the month. His sister, Alisha was baptised last week.

Happy St. Patricks Day from a six-foot two Rarotongan leprechaun 

                      

Adventures in Paradise 22

ADVENTURES IN PARADISE 22

Kia orana, everyone! Our excellent adventure continues with a quote from the late John Lennon. John once said that “Life is what happens when you are making other plans.” I’m certain that most of us have experienced those moments when we have realized that no matter how carefully we plan, life will always have the last word on how well those plans are utilized. We have all had those “How in the world did I get here?” days, months or even years. Where did I lose control? How did this happen? Might I suggest that sometimes the answers may come in the form of Tender Mercies or the  quiet guidance from One who knows far better than we what is best?

In late November, Ward and I returned from a Family Home Evening that didn’t happen. We, ok, I admit it, I, was tired and very perturbed that we had taken the time to drive halfway around the island, only to discover that no one was home. In my frustration, I suggested that this situation was hopeless, that the people here were thoughtless and that I felt that our time and efforts had been totally wasted. (You must remember that this was almost five months ago and I was learning….) That’s it, I told Ward, I am going to take a hot shower and I just want to go to bed early. Don’t bother me, don’t talk to me, just leave me alone to work this through. I was very upset that the evening had not gone as planned.

As I was stepping out of the shower, I could hear the phone ringing and I was tempted to not answer it.  A man on the other end of the line was asking where we were and when would we be coming, or at least that’s what I think that he said. The people here used to have accents that I couldn’t understand. It’s amazing how much they have all improved in the last five months! From what I could gather, his family was waiting for us so that they could begin their FHE. We had never met these people and had no idea where they lived! We managed, somehow, to understand their directions, and twenty wet hair and no make-up minutes later, we walked into a home where fifteen people and dinner were waiting. We were welcomed and then the time was turned over to us for our lesson. What lesson? We had no lesson! It matters little what the lesson was that evening, although we did manage to present one. What really matters is what became of two of the people that we met that evening.

Alisha’s first words to us that night were that she really wasn’t interested in anything we had to say. She was seventeen, sullen and clearly unhappy to be in our company. Having shared her opinion with us, she sulked off to the darkest corner of the house and said nothing for most of the evening. At some point, I noticed that she had quietly returned and was now sitting on the floor near our feet. Alisha began coming to the house on Wednesday mornings for cooking lessons. We talked a lot during our times together and at some point, those cooking lessons became cooking/missionary lessons. We have grown to love Alisha and she is being baptized on Saturday.

Alisha’s life has not been easy. She is living in a house with eleven other people. She has not seen her mother in over two years and she spends much of her time looking after her four younger brothers. There is no money for anything but the basics and Alisha saw nothing different than this for her future. We are helping her apply to BYU Hawaii, as she is graduating from high school in November. If accepted, Alisha will be able to work at the Polynesian Cultural Center to help pay her way. Her tuition is pro-rated on the family’s income or lack of it and after she graduates, she is required to spend two years working within the South Pacific area to pay back her tuition assistance. Alisha is the young woman that you have heard me mention before and now she has a new outlook on her future. Just recently, I shared with her the story of the night that we almost didn’t meet her and I spoke to her about the Tender Mercy that made it possible. While I was busy complaining about my personal disappointment “Other plans” were being laid that redirected Alisha’s future.  Alisha’s younger brother John, will also be baptized in the coming month.

So, as I said, these lovely people are making themselves more easily understood. Perhaps I could suggest that we are listening with new ears. When someone here asks people to put their hands together, it is not for applause, it is to help someone; to work together, if you will.  You do not need a ride, you need transport. You are not scheduled for work, you are rostered.  You set out your rubbish not your trash. If something is delicious, it’s nice and a lot of anything is heaps.  Women over the age of childbearing are called Mamas and this is a term of great respect, although it does make me feel old to be addressed that way. Do not look for Scarlett O’Hara on the plantation.  A plantation here is a very humble taro patch or a bunch of banana or mango trees. Oranges are green, lemons are the size of grapefruit, grapefruits are very sweet and avocados are three times the size of the ones we have at home.  We do the “Gecko Dash”, which consists of pulling into the drive at night and checking the front door area for any of those creeping little things before we get out of the van. Then Ward runs up the front steps unlocks the door and that is my signal to jump from the van and run into the house and slam the door before we have any unwanted guests. Those of you planning a visit be sure to bring your track shoes!  Oh, yes, if you want a real thrill, try catching a ride on the back of one of the local scooters. Our van was in for repairs and a friend offered to bring Ward home on the back of his bike. Let’s just say that Ward’s screams of “slow down” were not heard and when they pulled into the drive, all of Ward’s hair was standing straight up. The wind-blown effect left him looking rather startled.

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. We have learned to be much more accepting of the “Other Plans” that make up the fabric of our lives.  I have learned to be more patient, although I am definitely a work in progress. We are learning to be less controlling and more accepting of the island timetable. We hope that you are open to the possibility that “Other Plans” may be just what you need in your lives from time to time.  Many of you have come into our lives at times that we did not expect to make new friends, but there you are anyway. So, “Let it Be” (courtesy of John and the rest of the Beetles)

Love, Ward and Susan                   Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in the Cook Islands

Postscript:  Many of you may have heard about the tsunami warning posted for the South Pacific, among other areas. We received a call about 1:30am, this morning, directing us to higher ground. The projected arrival for the tsunami passed and we were all allowed to return home, tired but safe.

Suggested Captions for last weeks photo

Start off on the right foot, Be yourself!

Don't flip-flop on who you are. Stand out!

Set yourself apart from the crowd.

It's ok to be different.

All are welcome here.

Leave your soles at the door and bring your soul inside.

Just a little avocado

An

Alisha

Watching and waiting for the tsunami this morning

"American Gothic" Rarotongan style

Lunch at The Little Polynesian resort. Spectactular!

Our friend, Ben Teaka

Just another day in paradise

Again, we leave our happy snorkeler enjoying the waters of our peaceful island. Join us next week for another installment of Adventures in Paradise.

 

Adventures in Paradise 21

Adventures in Paradise 21

Kia orana, everyone!  Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on human nature. It is human nature to want to fit in; to be of  a part of a group; to belong. We long to be liked and to be included.  I know of few people who would willingly  choose not to receive an invitation, or who would prefer to be on the outside looking in. For most of us, it’s just the way we are.

Ward and I are no exception.  We are trying to learn a little more Maori each week so that we will fit in.  We make an effort to express some excitement over yet another plate of boiled taro served at a kai kai.  We have tried to anticipate and accept the island time-table, where the rule is to generally add at least half an hour to one’s arrival time. “Don’t worry sista!”  We try not to be too perturbed when our mail is delivered to and is opened by someone else. After all, we are all friends, are we not? Loving the people is a huge help in the quest for  being accepted and fitting it, but it has its challenges.  We have often wondered how our friends here perceive us.  Are we viewed as true friends or simply as the  interlopers who must be tolerated.  We were touched when at least a partial answer came to us last week.

It was evening and Ward and I were sitting under the “gossip tree” on the chapel grounds. We were chatting and laughing with the people gathered there and there was a lot a good-natured joking. At one point, one of the women pointed to our car and said, “The only thing white about you is that van over there!” What was that? Was she saying that she thought of us as one of them? A transformation had taken place! Yes!  We all had moved from a place where we noticed each other’s differences to one where those differences no longer mattered or existed. It was too dark for our friends to see that Ward and I were both wiping away a few tears. I did neglect to mention, that Ward's legs were far "whiter" than even our van! But, that is another story altogether.

This need to fit in has taught me valuable lessons over the years. Sometimes, those lessons have been painful, but I am learning. When I was about fourteen, like most teenage girls, I desperately wanted to be accepted. I believe, looking back that it wasn’t that I so much needed to be part of this particular group of girls, rather, I was afraid to be perceived as NOT being part of the group. Does anyone relate to this? I hope so.  These girls had decided to play a prank on one of my friends. The idea was that they would tell this girl a joke that made no sense. If my friend didn’t laugh, they could indicate that she was too stupid to “get it” and thus embarrass her in front of others. If she laughed with the rest of the group, pretending to “get it”, they would point out in front of others that there really was no joke and she had laughed at nothing, because she was stupid. My choice at this point was to inform my friend of the deception or go along with the joke. Sadly, I chose to go along with the joke and I did not support my friend. I laughed with the rest of the group, even when I saw the hurt on my friend’s face. Almost immediately, I regretted my decision. I agonized over it and the pain that I had caused  her for a long time. Finally, I realized that in order to make it right, I had to confess to my friend and ask for her forgiveness.  Thankfully, she forgave me and we moved on. She is still my friend today and to be truthful, I cannot remember the names of the other girls. Who they were doesn’t matter to me anymore.  It’s who I am that matters.

We had a remarkable experience last Friday. We were asked at the last minute (this is not unusual) to teach a Bible class at the local high school. Every second Friday, representatives from different denominations are invited to come to school and speak to the students.    The speakers choose their own subjects and the students are free to attend any presentation that they like. I would not be honest if I said that we felt no pressure. Who wants to go and be the presenter with the empty room? Not us! What if we gave a party and no one came? Why did we say yes?  We had a little over an hour to prepare and I will freely admit to praying very hard for the next few minutes!

The end of the story is that we had a full house and there were even young people listening from outside the classroom. I found myself talking about choices that we make and how they affect our lives. I told the story of how I met Ward and how important it was to me that he had a lifetime of good choices that show people who he is. We talked about being good examples to others and how not to be influenced by the bad choices of others. We talked a little about demanding respect from the opposite sex, by first being respectful to ones self. We talked about being planted and being strong enough not to be swayed by the need to fit in. I thought to bring Ward’s suit coat with us. I told the audience to suspend belief and to “pretend” that they had never seen a coat before. This was something that could keep them warm, but how in the world do you use it? Each student was to give only one direction on how to “use” the coat. One told me to put an arm through the sleeve. So I put my right arm through the left sleeve from the outside! So the next person tried to undo what the first person had said and so on. Nothing they told me to do worked, and they were getting very frustrated. Finally one young man, shouted out, “Just show how to do it!” Yes, how profound. So, he came to the front of the class and in one second had put on the coat and “showed” the rest how it should be done. Actions speak louder than words. You don’t really have to listen to what people say, when you can observe what they do.  We heard later, that some young men were talking about the fact that they had never considered that you could love someone because of the choices that they make.  Several young people have since thanked us for our message and we will be going back in a fortnight (two weeks, to you Americans). Oh, did I mention, that the talk we prepared after saying our prayer at home, was never given?

Last Sunday, we hosted a cottage meeting for young people and their leaders. I think that they like to come here because we have air conditioning!  At any rate, there were about forty people in the house learning and talking about being good examples. We were touched that two of these young people actually mentioned our visit to their school on Friday and how much they had appreciated our message.  During the evening, I happened to step outside and I was so taken by what I saw that I just  had to snap a photo. This is the only picture that we are including in this weeks blog. I will leave the caption up to you, but might I suggest that this again speaks to the concept of not being afraid to be who you are when all others or trying to fit in. 

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard.  We are also trying to find a good fit in our new lives here and hope that your lives fit you as well. We are so glad to know you and we appreciate the examples that you have been to us in so many ways. We always enjoy hearing from you when you have a moment.We are grateful for the opportunity to make our own choices and for the gift of being able to correct our mistakes and move ahead.

Love, Ward and Susan                  Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in the Cook Islands