Adventures in Paradise 45

Adventures in Paradise 45

Kia Orana, everyone! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts concerning the contents of a teenage boy’s brain. We have been exploring the depths of the thought processes of young men here and have been stunned by our discoveries! So, to begin, we would like you to meet our eight “test cases”. These handsome young men are our new students at Monday Bible class.

It is the practice of each college (high school) here on the island to devote a specific amount of time for religious study or Bible classes. Some schools set aside one hour every two weeks for this class, still others have opted to meet every week for half and hour. During that time, members of the religious communities are invited to speak to the students. The students are not given the option of skipping the class, but they do have the choice of which class or denomination they would like to attend. The instructors prepare a lesson, present themselves at a specific classroom and hope that young people will choose to listen to them. It is a daunting responsibility and one that we have loved. We have been teaching at Teroroa College and have been thrilled to consistently count about forty young people in attendance. Most of the students in that class know us because they see us in church. Some have brought friends with them and we have had some really interesting discussions with this group. The young men in the photo do not belong to this class.

One month ago, we were asked to take on a new and in some ways, much more difficult assignment. Titikavika College asked us to spend every Monday morning at their school. It is a small school and the administration could not guarantee that anyone would attend our class. There are very few LDS students registered there, so our community visibility would probably not be a factor in attracting attendance. We were nervous! To make our long story a little shorter, we now have eight or nine young men, none of whom are LDS, who regularly attend our class and we are working hard to build a rapport with them. We want them to trust us and to feel comfortable in asking any questions that they would like. Teachers love questions! We also always hope that we will be able to supply answers! I suppose that it doesn’t hurt that I bring them a little treat each Monday, but kids need to be fed in many ways, do they not?

So, here is the experiment that we conducted: I gave each student two slips of paper. On the first slip, numbered one, I asked them to write down any question that they would like to ask. It could be about anything, however mundane. It was theirs to ask and we would do our best to answer them all. What did they want to know?

The second slip of paper, numbered two, was reserved for subjects that these young men would like to have us discuss with them in lesson form. What did they want to learn? What were their concerns? Where were their hearts? While we had no preconceived ideas of what they might request, we were still stunned by the questions that these students posed. We were taken aback by the seriousness of their requests.

Slip number one: What questions do you have?

1. What do you think of our country?
2. How has your stay been so far?
3. Which Saturday or Sunday church is the real one?
4. Do you like it here?
5. What is your favorite fast food in America (I like McDonalds)
6. What does fast food in America taste like?  What do doughnuts taste like?
7. What are the youth like?
8. Can dreams mean anything?

Couched in what at first presents itself as a list of trivial questions, is an opportunity for great discussion, don’t you think?

Slip number two: Subjects to discuss

1.     Learn more about teenage issues

2.     Learn more about America

3.     To know about God more

4.     To know more about God

5.     Is the other name of the Bible really called the Sword?

6.     Would God forgive you for anything?

7.     Joseph, son of Jacob

8.     Like to know about friends 

    

What a revelation! These young men, who come in late and slouch in their seats, have life-altering questions. These boys, whom we know to be rugby players, scooter-riders and junk food junkies are concerned about subjects of eternal importance. These kids who notice cute girls, want to party on weekends, and just “hang out”, are taking life seriously enough to ask questions about forgiveness. And we have the opportunity of helping them find their direction. What a responsibility! Ward and I both feel like we are right back where we started. We are spending countless hours in study and preparation so that when we enter the classroom, we can be helpful to these young men. We are also becoming more educated in the process. Haven’t we all found that when we seek to impart information to others, we are the ones who learn the most? Isn’t that just the way that life is?

So, as usual, we are happy and trying to work hard. We hope to make a difference here. If any of you have any magic-bullet answers for any of our student questions, we would be most grateful to entertain them. We know you to be wise and thoughtful. We appreciate the examples that you have been and continue to be in our lives. And for those of you who may not consider yourselves to be a teacher, you may need to reconsider. After all, isn’t the best teacher one who leads by example? We could not ask for any better examples than all of the friends and family who are so much a part of our lives. Thank you and wish us luck!

Love, Ward and Susan                       Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in the Cooks

Adventures in Paradise 44

Adventures in Paradise 44

Kia Orana, everyone! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on earrings, women and the ties that bind.  Sometime before we came to Rarotonga, Ward and I made a bet. I had wondered aloud one day, if the earrings I was wearing would be considered overkill on the island.  I asked Ward (my resident fashionista) if he thought my earrings would be appropriate and was stunned by his answer. Ward informed me that women in the islands do not wear earrings, as it wasn’t their tradition. How wrong can one man be? I informed Ward that if there were women on that island, there would certainly be earrings. Women, after all, are the same wherever we are. We will not be found without our emblishments! So, here was the bet: The garage needed cleaning and who ever lost the bet would inherit that nasty job. If the women of Rarotonga did not wear earrings, I would be cleaning, BUT if the women did wear that particular adornment, Ward would be stuck spending the day with our junk. This bet was a “slam-dunk” for me! So, we checked with our friend, Lorna, who was living in the mission home here at the time and she laughingly told Ward that he had better get busy cleaning! Of course Rarotongan women wore earrings and the bigger the better! Lorna informed Ward that the island women loved anything beautiful and colorful, their jewelry being no exception. I think that Ward had momentarily forgotten that Cook Island pearls are world-famous! So we left our home behind with a clean garage and we both have been reminded that the women and men of this world have much in common with each other. We are far more alike that we are different. We are tied together by the things in life that have meaning to us.

My love for the women here has grown exponentially as I have lived among them. We are tied together by commonalities. Like my dear friends at home, the Cook Island women are loving, creative, talented and hard working. They are women of faith and conviction. They are nurturing mothers, aunties and grandmothers. A woman, no matter where she lives will do anything for her child. We are connected to each other through that common bond. The term auntie can refer to any woman friend of the family. A mother is the child’s mother but a mama is the child’s grandmother. My new friends, like my old friends, are thoughtful wives and kind neighbors. They are creative homemakers,  who often make do with very little, and are prolific gardeners. My friends here are artistic, inventive, funny and tender. They are loyal, intelligent and very strong-willed. They are wonderful and their friendship means the world to me. They have loved me unconditionally   I will be tied together with them for the rest of my life and happily so.

We have been so impressed by just how hard-working and inventive our island friends have proven to be. Many rely on extra money from Saturday market sales to augment their income. In many cases, this is a family effort, and all members work together. Creative minds have invented ingenious one-of-a kind products that appeal to visitors and locals alike. The women work side-by-side with their husbands. These women can pilot a motor scooter, while carrying a load of groceries. They can erect a tent at market and take it down again. They can create delicious new recipes using local ingredients and produce beautiful artwork.  They can tie a baby onto the back of a scooter using a hand-dyed pareu and drive around the island at thirty miles per hour. They are wonderful dancers who create their own costumes out of local vegetation and are charming hostesses. They are amazing! I love being tied to their apron strings!

I would like to introduce you to some of my remarkable friends. I have told them all about you, so now I would like you to know them as well.  Please understand that I consider myself very blessed to have you all in my life. I live in awe of the women you are (ok, you men as well) and am so grateful for the lessons that I have learned from the lives that you lead. You have all taught me more than you will ever know.

So, as usual, we are happy and trying to work hard. We have learned to appreciate and respect differences, while embracing those things that we have in common. You and these women are tied together because of my love for all of you. I hope you enjoy meeting and getting to know my new friends. I suspect that you will all find someone very much like yourselves in at least one of the following photos.

Love, Ward and Susan                             Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in the Cooks

Please say hello to my new friends! 

Jacquie and Connie are sisters as well as best friends. Jacquie, on the left  is a sailor, gardener and mother of three. Her sister Connie is a master chef and runs a restuarant.

Ake was one of the first people we baptized. She works in one of the resorts and is  now well -known for the delicious hot muffins she bakes and  serves every morning in the hotel lobby. She is getting married next Saturday!

Mama Rere is a mother and grandmother. She also is the caretaker during the day for a lively 1 1/2 year old whom she carries back and forth on the back of her scooter. This is her real hair color!

Teremonia lives in a log (palm logs) cabin on a steep mountainside. She makes and sells eis for the tourists and also is a master fabric artist. She grows flowers, bananas and lemons on her plantation.

Pa is a graduate of BYU Hawaii. She works at the hospital during the day and is an LDS institute teacher in the evenings. You may recognize her as the bride in the photos two blogs ago. 

Dernice is an artist as is her husband. Until recently they supported their family entirely from the proceeds of the sale of their art. She paints coconut banks and children's furniture. He husband is a master carver. Dernice now also works for the company that is expanding our harbor. Oh, yes, Dernice is the mother of three and the Primary president of her branch. She wears a hard hat to work!

Pecka is a three-time dance champion. She works at the airlines, cleans a bank in the evenings and has the most popular food booth at Saturday market.

This friend is the creator of my beautiful Tivaivai. You can see some of her work in the background. She also has a beautiful singing voice and is the mother of three.

This is Sharon, our movie star friend. She had a role in the movie, "The Other Side of Heaven". She is the Relief Society president of her branch. She works weekdays in a gift shop and spends every Satruday morning selling gifts at the market. She is always doing something for someone else. She has no spare time!

Heather is the head of nursing at the hospital and district Relief Society president. She is well-known on the island and she has earned great respect here for her work in improving the health of the Rarotongan people.

This is Leeann. Leann is the mother of three very sweet children. She works at Saturday market, waits tables at one of the resorts and runs her own nail business. She calls me Mom and I am thrilled! 

This is Ina. She and her husband just returned from a Family History mission in Salt Lake. She is "retired", but you will find her at the airport for most every incoming flight. She drives one of the island's few taxis. Don't tell anyone, but if she thinks someone can't afford to pay, she doesn't charge them. She pays the fare herself.

This is Philo. She loves to dance, visit with friends and tease Ward. She and her huband own rental homes for the tourists and  they sell their produce at Saturday market. Her goats are the ones that chase me when I pick her flowers!

This is mama Mataroa. She is a friend to all and mama to many of the island children. She growns fruit that is left on our doorsteps We are not supposed to know who leaves it, but we do and we are grateful for her thoughtfulnes..

This is Lindsay. You are looking at Miss Junior Cook Islands for two years running. She is a talented singer and her dancing will take your breath away. She was also chosen "Best Girl" by the faculty of her high school and will be heading to college on scholarship in January.

Mama Femoni has adopted four children to add to her six. She works hard to keep all of her family together, providing a home at the moment for about sixteen people.  She is holding, Janice one of her grandchildren.There is only one bathroom in her house and she is still smiling!

I am smiling becasue I am blessed to have so many beautiful friends. One of them even made my stunning head-ei.



Adventures in Paradise 43

Adventures in Paradise 43

Kia Orana, everyone! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on adapting. It has finally happened! I have Island Fever. This ailment is best described as the realization that one is on a very small rock in the middle of a vast ocean, having very little hope or opportunity of escaping. This condition is exacerbated if one is claustrophobic. Is there no cure; no remedy?

I inherited claustrophobia from my father. He knew to keep his distance from anything or anyplace that would leave him feeling cramped, hemmed-in or out of control. In my personal situation, I avoid caves, small spaces (I used to hate telephone booths), the last row of seats in an airplane, MRI machines and anything else that confines. It is this last part; the part about being confined that has been the source of my Island Fever. Knowing that I would be spending eighteen months on a very small island had, from the outset, been a concern for me and I have worked very hard at not thinking about just how small my rock is. But lately, as the time has passed, that uneasy feeling of confinement has reared its ugly little head. Deciding how best to combat the rising feeling of discomfort has been an exercise in creativity, aided by small doses of humor.

This creativity has come in the form of “fantasy trips”. Now on days that I am feeling particularly cramped, Ward and I pick a destination and drive. We don’t always complete our trip, but pretending that we are driving to the mountains or a favorite getaway has been very cathartic.  Our little paradise is only twenty-one miles around, so we have made the following calculations based on one-way trips.

Park City:              1 ½ times around the island

Bear Lake              6 times around the island

St. George and

Jackson Hole         16 times around the island   

Disneyland            34 trips around the island…….an adventure ride in itself!

Well, you get the idea! Being creative in terms of adapting to ones current situation can take many forms. I think that the first rule in being adaptive is to decide to stay positive. Years ago, I spoke with the wife of an army colonel as her family was about to be assigned to a new posting. I could not imagine how one kept positive while facing the prospects of moving every four years. This wise woman simply stated that she would always decide that the next place she moved was going to be the very best place that she had ever lived. And with a wink, she quietly informed me that she had never been wrong. So, this island is the best place that I have ever lived.

For many years, I had a little saying on my refrigerator door. Its sentiments mean more to me now that they did earlier. That magnet reminded me to “Bloom Where You are Planted”. It’s easy to bloom in a place that you know. It’s a different and more labor-intensive job to bloom where you had never expected to be planted. But I am learning that there is good, fertile blooming ground all over the world and right now, I am trying very hard to bloom here. Blooming means taking time to appreciate another culture, someone else’s cooking, learning a new language or anything else that makes you more fertile for accepting. Last week, Constitution Day was celebrated. Our friend, Taina, invited us to the festivities. She took the time to explain what the judges were looking for from the singers, dancers and drummers. Thanks to her explanations, we went from just enjoying the pageantry of the evening to really understanding and appreciating the talent that was displayed. I learned, for example, that a good dancer keeps her feet together as she shimmies her hips and that it not easy. Before that little insight, all the dancers looked the same to me. But suddenly, I had the greater knowledge to really appreciate a talented dancer. We are none of us too old to learn and the rewards are substantial. Knowing more allows us to appreciate more.

So, the humor to combat my Island Fever has come in many forms as well. Our island pictorial this week is an idea borrowed from those traveling garden gnome stories we all hear about from time to time. Those stories chronicle the travels of a little garden sculpture in a pointy hat. He is stolen, or if you prefer liberated from someone’s flowerbed then photographed in exotic locations around the world. Those photos are usually sent to the hapless owner who is left at home waiting for the return of something that travels far more than he does. So, Ward is our traveling gnome, if you will, and using your imagination, you might just be able to squint and see him in the places suggested below each photo. Of course, he never left the island and  he refused to wear a pointy hat, so you will just have to imagine that as well. It’s been said that humor is the best medicine and while not a complete cure for Island Fever, it sure has helped and there are no negative side-effects.

So, as usual, we are happy and trying to work hard. I never really appreciated the wide-open spaces that we have at home. I took for granted the freedom that I had to easily travel from one place to another. I miss a long car trip and we miss all of you too. Think of us the next time you travel more than twenty-one miles from home and we will think of you here as we recall what it was like to do just that. But for tomorrow, we have plans to visit Lake Powell, a mere 16 times around the island! Gas up the jet skis, we are on our way!

Love, Ward and Susan              Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in the Cooks

We hope that you enjoy the adventures of  Ward, our traveling gnome, er Elder                                 

Ward, being bid bon voyage by his friend, Jake.

Ward eathing a fresh coconut. If you use your imagination and squint, you might just see Diamondhead!

  

Ward leaving a French country market with a side of pork. Bon Apetite

If it's a palm tree, it must be Florida

Ward visiting the San Diego Zoo

Could this be Heathrow airport in London? Where is the fog?

A strenuous  hike in the high Uintas

Ward visiting Lake Powell. Ignore the reef behind him, please!

Ward enjoying a cookout at his favorite campsite in Jackson Hole. Please imagine a campfire and pine trees. 

Ward digging his way to China

On the road again. See you next week!



Adventures in Paradise 42

Adventures in Paradise 42

Kia Oran, everyone! Our excellent adventure continues with a very old memory and how it has affected my life. I have often speculated on just what it is that motivates a person to choose to do for others. Why would someone spend time, energy and often personal resourses in order to assist someone else? A skeptical person might suggest that in those circumstances there is the promise of some sort of personal gain for the giver. Most of us however, could speculate that positive intent is the supreme motivator. 

When I was eight, I received a Besty Wetsy doll for my birthday. Does this date me? I am certain that it does, but I digress from my story. I loved that doll and took her everywhere. I was an excellent mother and loved to feed and change that baby. My mother could not pry Besty out of my hands, even at bath time. I could not imagine my eight-year old life without her.

One morning, my father on the way home from his graveyard shift, stopped at a little cafe for breakfast. Dad said that as he was waiting to pay his check, a couple entered with their young daughter. The mother and father were tired, dirty and wearing rumpled clothing. The little girl was clutching a wadded-up pink blanket. This family had lost their home in a fire that morning and what they had left was what they were wearing. The child, having lost her doll as well, was pretending that the pink blanket was her baby. As I recall, my father paid for their breakfast and came home to relate the story. I knew how much that little girl was mourning for her doll and how sad she was not to have her anymore. In my eight-year old brain, something told me that I should give Betsy to my father so that he could return to the café. But my eight-year old heart was having a difficult time with that idea. It took me a long time before I decided that the other little girl needed Betsy more than I did. Finally, I gave the doll to my father and asked him to deliver her to the other little girl. Unfortunately, I had taken too long to make my decision and the family was no longer at the café when my father returned.

Why would an event that occurred fifty-five (ok I admit it!) years ago still linger in my memory? What lingers is the feeling of regret that I experienced. After all these years, I still wish that I could give Besty to that little girl. I would give almost anything to change that few moments in time. I am still frustrated with my eight-year old self. The other memory that is attached to that incident is the one where I decided that I did not want to feel like that again. For me, my decision to try to be a good help to people came in those hours after I realized that the chance to be of help to that other child was lost to me forever. Perhaps, my thinking at that age was a little more simplistic, but it was one of my defining moments.

So, why mention that here and why now? I speak of it now because on this island, I have witnessed so many loving thoughtful acts from people that I have grown to love and respect. Last week Pa and Junior were married. Pa chose to keep the preparations simple and the guest list limited to only twenty due to the lack of finances. They were saving for a trip to the New Zealand temple and could not afford an elaborate wedding. Friends, family and co-workers of the couple stepped in to “save the day”. They took the burden of planning, and worry over finances off the shoulders of Pa and Junior and ran with it. The result was a touching, beautiful wedding day. Pa and Junior were overwhelmed by the love that they felt and expressed their sincere gratitude at the feast that followed. It’s important to note here, that most everything was donated and no one went to great expense. The fact that everyone worked together for a common goal made the task easier for us all . It was also a lot of fun. We felt good at the end of the day for having had the opportunity to serve someone else. There were no regrets. It was a very good day!

The little girl with the pink-blanket baby is, hopefully, having a wonderful life. She will never know the lesson she taught an eight-year old about the value of sharing. I would like to think that she and I have lived parallel lives, both of us having learned a valuable lesson due to the loss her family suffered that morning light-years ago. Hopefully, she too remembers what it’s like to be without and how important it is to help someone in need.

As usual, we are happy and trying to work hard. We are learning lessons about the happiness that comes by doing for others. We are grateful also, to have been on the receiving end of many acts of kindness from those in our lives who live with positive intent. The photos that we share this week allow you too, to appreciate the generosity of those whose goal was to simply give a young couple a lovely day.

Love, Ward and Susan                      Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in the Cooks   

The eis were hand-made by local women. From donated fabric, I made the wedding clothing. My sons brought the bridal illusion for the veil with them from America. 

Brother-in-law Tere was the photographer

All of the flowers were home-grown.

The donated tapa cloth makes a lovely backdrop

Our friend, David Akanoa performed the marriage and donated the tents. The Avarua Branch supplied the tables and chairs.

All of the food was donated as well. In the foreground you can see taro and chop suey. Someone slaughtered a pig, while others roasted chickens. The wedding cake was supplied by the Belliston Bakery, and was decorated with fresh flowers picked at the church.

Another lovely day in Paradise with good friends