Adventures in Paradise 74

Adventures in Paradise 74

Kia Orana everyone! Our excellent adventure continues with some last glimpses of people that we will miss. As we hurriedly gather “keep in touch” information from our friends, we are acutely aware that our relationship with them must change. We are buoyed up by the knowledge that we will see many of those we love in the distant or not so distant future. While I have never been a particularly technology-oriented person, it is now with profound gratitude that I embrace the blessings of modern communication. My new best friend, the computer will allow me to see the children as they grow. Through skype I will be able to hear my friends' voices and carry on instant conversations. I will be able to stay in touch and I am grateful. There was an old slogan that stated, “The Next Best Thing to Being There”, and through these inventions, I will truly find it the next best thing and this makes our departure just a little less painful.

As we enter the last few precious days here, our calendar is overflowing. We have had more invitations than we can possibly manage and we thought it fitting that in our last blog from Rarotonga, we should introduce you to a few more of our friends. Might I say  that this blog has also become one of my friends and I have been finding it difficult to say goodbye to it as well. I am touched that so many of you have  also said that you will miss it, so I have decided to continue writing as we go about the business of adjusting to life at home.  Perhaps Blackrock Bulletin may become more of a periodical than a weekly report. We shall see, but as always, you are free to hit the delete button at any time!

This last blog is dedicated to our final week on our rock and the faces we will not soon forget.

Ward will miss this booth at Saturday market. Our friends, Peka and Ben serve the most delicious fish!

We will miss these four young men. There have never been four missionaries leave from the same branch at the same time. It's a new Cook Island record!  Goodbye Elders!

I will miss crazy faces and laughter from sweet friends.

 

We will miss the Rongos working on their version of the Haka.

. We enjoyed the entertainment at our going-away party and will miss our talented friends.

We will miss Harmon and John. We met Harmon through our Bible class and he has been taking lessons with us. John is another story. He is one of Ward's best friends here and the two of them are dangerous together.

We will miss the children. Oh, how we will miss the children!

We will miss the George family. They were the first to invite us to a last Sunday supper.

We will miss the little group of friends who invited us to dinner. When schedules did not permit us to spend individual time with them, they combined forces and we had a community FHE dinner. Each person spoke during the evening of how we had played a part in their lives. It was a tearful, yet happy evening.

We will miss the opportunity for community dinners.

We will miss introducing American treats to the children. The treat of the day: Rootbeer floats!

There were only five people for floats. We went through ten cans of rootbeer and one and a half tubs of vanilla ice cream. Oh wait, Ward was eating too. That explains it!

We love this family and have a little announcement. Mom Debra, son James and daughter Shanece are being baptized tomorrow!!!



So, as always we are happy and still trying to work hard. We also have a baptism on Sunday morning!  We have loved and are loved and that makes it perfect. We are grateful for the expeiences of a lifetime and lifelong friends. We now are members of an even more extended family and couldn't be happier. But as always happens, we must turn to face other adventures and so we have one final thing to say.

We have missed you! See you soon!

Love, Ward and Susan                  Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in the Cooks                    

Adventures in Paradise 73

Adventures in Paradise 73

Kia Orana , everyone!  Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on famous last words. As we come to terms with the realization that we must actually leave our little island, our focus has shifted. For the last week or so, we have been directing home affairs from afar. There are cars to be inspected, doctor’s appointments to be scheduled, bills to be paid and income taxes to be reconciled. Our phone will be switched on April 1 and we look forward to hearing it ring once again. We are grateful to friends and family who have been so willing to help us get organized. But as I mentioned, our focus has shifted. That focus is now directed to those here that we will leave behind. Our thoughts revolve around what last words we want to leave with them. Given one last opportunity, what is it that we wish most to say.

If I were a screenwriter, I might find a very clever way to deliver one last line. In” Casablanca”, Rick reminds Elsa that “They will always have Paris”. Yes dear friends, we will always have Raro. That memory is ours forever. This island is truly “The stuff that dreams are made of” (“The Maltese Falcon”) and it has been our good fortune to live here. But what is it that we wish to have them know and hopefully remember. What will our famous or not so famous last words be?

Today is our last teaching day at Tereora College. I have lost a lot of sleep pondering over the subject of my last lesson with these young people.  Is there anything that I can say to a roomful of teenagers that will be heard, let alone remembered? What also is the last piece of advice that we should leave with our newlywed friends? What should we share with the parents of young families? Is there something memorable that we can impart to the children? For the last month or two, my mind has raced from one subject to another; from one person to another. I have felt restless and unsettled while trying to formulate my thoughts. I have been searching for appropriate last words. 

In the past few months our island has been besieged by teenage suicides. People are worried. The Prime Minister is so concerned about this loss of young lives that he has decided to form a coalition of local church and civic leaders to formulate a plan to combat this tragedy. Just this week, the first of many youth-oriented gatherings took place. The aim of these gatherings is to teach those attending how to better handle their frustrations and to train them to recognize signs of distress in their friends. Perhaps these young people would do well to recall what Scarlett O’Hara said at the end of “Gone With the Wind”. Truly , “Tomorrow is another day”, and as I mentioned in a previous blog, it will feel better when it stops hurting. I think that I would like to remind these young people that they should look forward to all of the tomorrows in their lives.

For my friends with young and growing families, I would suggest that home and faith should be the focus of their lives together. It would be wonderful to create a loving retreat where children would want to return at the end of the day. This should be a place of physical and emotional safety. It should be a place where trust is nurtured and lessons about thinking of others could be learned. I suppose that Dorothy said it best when she exclaimed, “There’s no place like home”. Yes, “Wouldn’t that be loverly”.

For my newlywed friends I would suggest patience tempered with the willingness to forgive. I would remind them that a good marriage takes a lot of hard work where both partners give one hundred percent. All marriages are works in progress and they need to remember why they got married in the first place. They need to be willing to work hard, and learn to laugh. I would not want to live a life where there was no laughter.  The movie, “Some Like it Hot”, sums it up in three simple words. “Well, nobody’s perfect.”  A young wife once told me that her husband was not perfect, but he was perfect for her. That was what mattered most.

 “Thank heaven for little girls” and boys!  I hope that the children realize how much we love them and how valuable they are. It may sound trite to state that these children are our hope for tomorrow, but it is true none the less. We have grown to love these children more than they can imagine and we are wishing that there is a bright future in store for them. We would like them to remember to say their prayers before they sleep and to be grateful. We would remind them to keep learning and be respectful of others and demand respect for themselves. We would suggest that they try very hard to be good role models for others and that they take time to appreciate the beauty that surrounds them. Speaking of this island, Gidget would say. “Honest to goodness. It’s the absolute ultimate!”

While I realize that there will never be enough time to impart all of the last thoughts that we would like, I am grateful that we have had the opportunity to speak to so many of our friends personally. We continue to receive invitations from those who want to say goodbye in their own way. It’s just possible that they too are considering what last words to leave with us. Even if no one were to speak, we can tell through facial expressions and heartfelt hugs that we have permanent friends on Rarotonga. We look forward to our last week in paradise. We cannot assume that our excellent adventure is ending. We have other goals and dreams to dream. “So your adventures are over.”  “Oh, no. To live, to live would be an awfully big adventure.”  (“Hook”) So as always, we are happy and trying to work hard. We know that other wonderful experiences await us and many of them will include some of you. We can hardly wait for the next chapter in our lives. And if someone were to suggest that they will miss our presence, I will tenderly tap my heart and remind them , “I will always be right here.” (“E.T.”)

Love Ward and Susan                                         Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in the Cooks

"If you look in this place tomorrow and its gone, you musn't be sad.

Because you know it still exists not very far away."         "Green Mansions" 

Adventures in Paradise 72

Adventures is Paradise 72

Kia Orana , everyone! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts concerning popularity. At my advanced age, I am finally learning what it’s like to be popular. Back in the dark ages when I was a teenager, I often wished to be so sought after that people would argue over me. As shallow as that sounds, I believe that it was more about belonging that being liked. It was the basic human need to feel valued by others. And to be honest ,if there happened to be a contest to see who got to spend the most time with me, all the better. At that moment in my life, being popular seemed to be its’ own reward.

Flashing forward to present day, we are learning what it’s really like to be fought over and we are finding that being popular carries with it a daunting responsibility. As our time in Raro draws to a close, we have become aware that those we love here are wishing to spend time with us before we leave. Many have invited us to lunch or dinner but these invitations are almost always couched in the same whispered declaration; “I want to be the first to take you out to dinner, but don’t tell anyone!” For some reason, being the first seems to be of paramount importance and we are left to keep the secret. The real secret is that we have so far enjoyed three “first-time” dinners!

Some of you may recall that long before we left for the Cooks, I voiced a few of my concerns regarding my potential effectiveness as a missionary. I was worried that I would not know enough. There was the concern about my ability to adapt to another culture and there was my absolute fear that I would somehow cause harm. Ward used to reassure me that if I simply loved the people, I had nothing to worry about, but my insecure self was not totally persuaded on this point. Now, eighteen months later, I am able to see the wisdom in Wards reassurance. He was right. Simply put, when people feel loved, they will return that love. We are now experiencing that love in very tender ways. We are being fought over! While we anticipate that there will at one point be a large gathering in our honor, including a feast, we are finding that our sweet friends wish to spend some private time with us. What greater compliment can one receive that to have a cherished friend make this request? So, while we are working diligently to keep the “first-time” secret, we are touched to find that so many wish to be that first one.

What follows is a snapshot history of the week we have just enjoyed. In anticipation of the end of our mission, we thought that we had prepared ourselves for the possibility of tears and the absolute probability of tender emotions. We are in the process now of realizing that one cannot ever be prepared for the time we must say goodbye. Just today having lunched with our mission president, I took a moment to say farewell to our favorite waiter. I told him that we were going home in two weeks and that we would miss him. When he simply replied that he hoped that we would have a nice trip, I was slightly disappointed in his reaction. When he asked how soon we were coming back, his face dropped when I shook my head. He had not understood that our leaving was permanent. I will always remember the look on his face as we waved goodbye for probably the last time. While I realize that we are not the first, nor will we be the last missionaries to face this separation, for now this is very personal and we are experiencing a tug-of-war of emotions. We are remembering the advice that a former mission president left with us. “Never say goodbye. Simply say I’ll see you later.”

So as always we are happy and trying to work hard. We now have one foot in our life here and of necessity, the other planted in our life at home.  We have learned that being loved has nothing to do with being popular, as it has everything to do with simply loving someone in return.

Love, Ward and Susan                              Elder and Sister Belliston, Serving in the Cooks 

Sis Karika\was actually the first to take us out to dinner. She was insistent that she be the first one. During dinner we told her about a young girl we had visited in the hospital earlier that day. The family had five children and no father. As we left the restaurant, she handed us 100.00 to buy the family groceries. We will miss our dear, thoughtful friend. 

Thank you Sister Karika for a wonderful evening with you at the Tamerind Restaurant. Thank you also for arranging such a beautiful sunset.

Maata and Mama Numa were the first to take us to lunch. Here we are at the Ariki Cafe deonstrating our secret greeting, The Parade Wave.

Wanting us to have the best, these sweet women ordered steak for all of us. I finally talked them into letting me have chicken. There was no refusing dessert! Thank you Maata and Mama Numa for a wonderful first lunch.

No, no I don't care for dessert, turned into yes, yes you can't say no! Thank you ladies for a beautiful lunch with beautiful friends.

The Takitumu branch YM-YW were the first to host a farewell dinner activity. They booked us two months ahead. There is a difference in a "Bring a plate dinner" and a "Pot Luck Dinner". This was Pot Luck

These Young Women in training did not let us out of their sight all evening. It is seldom that we have such an attentive audience. Their mother took us aside and told us that she and her husband wanted to be the first to take us to dinner. We just smiled, nodded and took out our calendar!

A glimpse of the Takitumu branch YM-YW dinner.

The woman in orange was the first to offer her flowers any time that I wanted to pick them. The woman is bluewas the first to offer refuge  to a a young mother and her children when they had to leave their family home and the woman in pink was always the first to help me when I entertained the islands children. Thanks to all of these good women.

Takitumu members were the first to make us farewell cards.

The Takitumu youth were the first to label adults as OLD PEOPLE!

Sister Peka George was the first to invite us to her home for a farewell Sunday dinner. Knowing how much Ward enjoys her fish, she promised raw fish, grilled fish and baked fish. Since I am a non-fish lover I am hoping for one of her delicious salads.

Ina Price provided the first surprise invitation. I am invited to deliver a batch of homemade rolls to her before we leave! She actually requested that I make them next week before I forget!

Please tune in next week for continued tales of our final Adventures in Paradise. 

Adventures in Paradise 71

Adventures in Paradise 71

Kia Orana, everyone! Our excellent adventure continues with thoughts on the fact that you never can tell. As a child, I would often ask my mother if we were going to do a certain thing. Mom, are we going swimming today, or Mom, am I going to have a birthday party? Growing up there were always questions and it was not uncommon for my mother to reply that you never can tell. For years I thought that this phrase meant that mabey we might go swimming or mabey there would be a party. Later, I realized that at certain times, my mother did not have a definitive answer at that moment and the phrase you never can tell, was evidence that she didn’t know what would happen. As an adult, that simple comment has come to mean something far more important. It has provided me with guidance where my behavior is concerned. In truth, the way that we choose to behave can often have long range ramifications. Once one chooses a course of action, you never can tell what will happen.

This week I had a little refresher course in this very lesson. Our friend, Noo came to visit. You may recall that Noo’s wife Linda passed away unexpectedly last July. Linda left her family behind including an eight-year old daughter. In addition to losing a wife, Noo lost his best friend.  Noo said that he wanted to thank me. It seems that when Noo typed Linda’s name on Google, my blog about her death popped up. At first, Noo did not realize that I had written the article, but he was touched to the point of tears over what he had read. He sent that item to several friends in the states and elsewhere, who had not known of her death. They in turn were touched by its contents and sent it to others.  As Noo related these events to me, my mind raced backwards to recall just exactly what I had written. Was there anything in that blog that I should not have said? Was there something that might have offended Noo and his family? I had never really considered the possibility that he would even ever see it. But Noo was thanking me and telling me how much that article meant to him. I was relieved and was reminded that as I wrote that particular blog, I had not realized that once it was published, I would have no control who would read it and what their reactions might be. I was reminded that you never can tell.

As we work with the young people here, we speak about the fact that they have been given the gift of choice. They are free to choose their actions, but they are not free to choose the consequences. We tell them that once they act, they never can tell what will happen. That is a daunting responsibility when you think of it. It is a gift that should not be taken lightly. Those who believe that they are acting only for themselves cannot possibly fathom how many others may be influenced or affected by their actions. In truth, you never can tell. That is just the way it is.

Years ago, my primary teacher taught this lesson in such a graphic way that I have never forgotten it. Sister Henderson was actually teaching a class of Bluebirds about gossip and the damage that it can do. Sister Henderson brought a dandelion to class. It was not bright and yellow; rather it was brown and wispy. It was delicate and we all knew from experience that if touched that dandelion would disintegrate. This wise woman told us to imagine that the dandelion was an untrue story made up about one of our friends. As we were conjuring that image up in our young minds, Sister H invited one of the girls to the front of the room and asked her to blow on the dried weed. As you can imagine, those wispy remnants scattered to all corners of our classroom, some even escaping through the open window. We all watched in fascination as this occurred, but that fascination turned to frustration when our very astute teacher instructed us all to gather the dandelion back up and we were to make certain that we missed none of it. Not catching the point of this teaching moment, we all voiced our frustration about the impossibility of the task. It was not possible to gather every particle as we had no idea where some of them had gone. Of course that was exactly the point. Once we scatter gossip or mislead or speak ill of someone, there is no way that we own it any longer. And you never can tell where it will go or who might be affected.

 Almost anyone who has ever taught in any capacity has learned that even though you choose what to present to the students, you have no control over what they remember. Many times over the years, I have had students thank me for something I taught them while I have absolutely no recollection of teaching any such thing. Through these experiences, I learned to be very careful about my classroom presentations. I have learned that you never can tell.

As we prepare to leave our island paradise, we are well aware that we may never know how much of what we tried to do here will be remembered or appreciated. We may never know if lessons will be retained or if hearts have been permanently altered.  We can only hope that this is the case and we can leave knowing that we tried to do our best. What we do know is that we have learned to love the people and that we will miss them desperately. Perhaps in the not so distant future, someone from our little island will find a way to let us know that what we accomplished is remembered. But you just never can tell, can you?

So as usual, we are happy and trying to work hard. I’m grateful that Noo Moekore found solace in the blog about his wife. I am also grateful that for a brief moment I had a vision of just how far reaching one of my blogs became. I am also grateful that I had no regrets about anything that I had written that Friday in July. Isn’t that just the way we should try to live our lives? Trying to be our best selves leaves us less room for regret because you just never can tell.

Love, Ward and Susan                           Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in the Cooks  

This is our friend Noo and his beautiful daughter Apii. Thank you for giving me the idea for this blog. We dedicate it to you and your family and hope that you enjoy it. With love, Elder and Sister Belliston