Adventures in Paradise 70

Adventures in Paradise 70

Kia Orana! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on the opening line in a novel by Charles Dickens.  In writing about the struggles of the French revolution, Dickens says that, “It was the best of times and it was the worst of times”. In this last week, I have often thought of those cryptic words as I have pondered the events that have changed the lives of people that we love. Perhaps I should reverse our personal order of that quotation to state that is was the worst of times and then it was the best of times.  This week, we are saddened by the dissolution of a marriage that separates a father from his children, while at the same time being elated by the good news from another little family.

This week we have witnessed the sad demise of a family unit. People that we have learned to love find it impossible to continue in a marriage. Lack of trust and respect between the parents culminated in a tragic confrontation that left the mother no choice but to leave the marriage, thus separating the children from a father whom they love. This couple has not been able to correct past mistakes and have found it impossible to move ahead together. We have watched helplessly from the sidelines as this drama has played out in the lives of five people whom we hold dear. Advice, counseling and an outpouring of love and support were not enough to rescue this relationship and we are mourning its passing. It is a death after all and as it is with all deaths, we know that life will never be the same for any of us.  As with any other life changing event, none of us knows where this will lead and we are concerned and more than a little frightened. Such is the nature of this particular beast.

This last week has been one of lost sleep and many tears and we are weary. We will continue to be in contact with this family but our concern will be carried on from a long distance in a few short weeks and I am having adifficult time thinking about leaving our island under these circumstances. It has been a week where we have felt totally helpless and ineffective. It certainly has been the worst of times and my heart is broken. It was in this mood that we answered a phone call from another young couple who said that they wanted to speak with us.

Mumsy sounded very serious on the other end of the line. You may recall meeting Mumsy and Tere in our blog when we first introduced you to their new baby. They had named that baby Belliston and Mumsy had thanked us for rescuing her husband. My heart dropped when I heard her voice, but I told her that we would be happy to have them come to the mission home. She said that they wanted to speak with us and truthfully, after the week’s events, I quickly jumped to the conclusion that this would not be a pleasant meeting. Can ones heart sink any further, I wondered as we waited for their arrival.

Mumsy spoke first, stating that they had something important to tell us and I could almost hear my heart pounding in my chest. My mouth went dry and I was very near to tears. Looking at Mumsy I could see that she was about to weep as well and Tere sat quietly with his hands folded in his lap. Then they both looked up at us and smiles spread across their faces. They had set January 2013 at the date that they would like to be sealed AND they wanted to do it in the Salt Lake Temple with us as their witnesses! I cannot adequately describe the relief and joy that I felt hearing their simple yet profound announcement. The baby that I was already missing was coming to Salt Lake City and we would be there to meet him at the airport. Granted he would be walking by then, my having missed his first steps, but he was coming none the less and we were thrilled. We cried with this little family as we described to them what it would be like in that sealing room. We told them what a beautiful sight it would be to see the three of  them all in white. We told them that we loved them and we couldn’t wait. The rest of our time that evening consisted of more touching conversation and our speaking to them of our hopes for them as a family. They asked us to take some family photos as well as one or two pictures of Ward and me with little Belliston. Their plan was to blow up these photos and hang them in a prominent spot where our baby could look at our faces every day, so as not to forget us.

It was the best of times that evening and perhaps as I mentioned in a previous blog, we cherished it all the more for having experienced very opposite emotions in previous days. Our good news expands as we expect that many of you will be able to meet this little family early next year. Please plan your vacations accordingly!  We have experienced depths and heights this last week and are grateful for the peace that returned to our home last Tuesday. We will continue to love and support both families in the coming months and my wish for our friends who are struggling so at the moment, is that they too will feel their own peace in the not too distant future.

So, as always, we are happy and trying to work hard.  We are thrilled for the progress that Mumsy and Tere have made towards becoming an eternal family and are just as excited that we will be seeing them again so soon. I have always threatened that when we left here, we would take at least one beautiful child with us. I did not expect home delivery! Thank you again for being supportive friends and family and we once more are reminded of the value of loving relationships. I can’t wait for you to meet little Belliston, and we will celebrate the best of times by teaching him how to build his first snowman!

Love, Ward and Susan                       Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in the Cooks

Baby Belliston at three months. He is happy and healthy.

Mumsy and Tere and baby B

Mumsy says that Belliston is getting fat on breast milk and Nu, which is the coconut water.

Baby Bs shirt says, "If you think I'm cute, wait until you see my daddy".

This baby does not suffer from a lack of kisses!

Mumsy says that Belliston has light skin because of his name!

Shhhh, don't tell, but I am not giving him back!

This is the best of times! See you next week.

Adventures in Paradise 69

Adventures in Paradise 69

Kia Orana, everyone! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on extravagance and how it can sometimes be a very good thing. I am not a high-maintenance person. I have never been described to my knowledge as “over-the-top” or anything even close to that. One would not depict me by using adjectives such as “glitzy, flashy or sparkly”.  I have always believed that less is more; that is until I received a box from my friend, MaryBeth Jarvis Clark. As I peeked into MaryBeths gift box, I was overwhelmed  and  touched by her extravagance.  Mae West once said that “Too Much of a Good Thing is Wonderful”, and   now I am forced to agree with her.

Having been notified by MaryBeth that “the box” was coming I was not surprised by its delivery. What amazed me was the contents of that package. My sweet, thoughtful friend had sent a Valentine to the children of the Cook Islands. MaryBeth had planned  and provided a party for twenty children, but when I opened that box, I began to realize the true meaning of extravagance. I also appreciated, once again, the thoughtfulness of someone who remembered to think of others. Everything in that box was pink and glitzy. It was flashy and there were more sparkles that you can imagine. It was perfection.  MaryBeth must entertain on a much grander scale than I. This was my thought as I began to unload “the box. I realized that there was no way I would be able to limit the sharing of this treasure with only twenty children.  MaryBeth, in her thoughtful extravagance had provided the way for me to share far beyond the scope  of what she could have imagined.

Does this look like a party for twenty to you? Ah, MaryBeth!

My first idea was to extend an invitation for a Valentine-making open house to all of the children that we knew. Using the 3x5 note cards and  sticky foam creatures included in "the box", another friend created invitations for the children. They were invited to stop by after school on February 14 to make a Valentine and have a treat. In all, eighty invitations were created and we passed out all but two. Well, so much for twenty children! We also extended a date-night invitation to all the young couples who had been married for less than two years. These invitations were created using the shiny red hearts and construction paper also included in the box. The newlyweds were invited to dinner and encouraged to wear red. Using the gift bags included in “the box”, as well as some of the treats, we were able to put together a take-home Valentine kit for each of the ten couples who were invited. Twenty children, MaryBeth! What were you thinking?

It was a busy, happy and crazy week.  I made over one hundred and fifty cupcakes, using the Valentine cupcake liners from “the box”. The candy was divided into individual little bundles and tied with the ribbon that was included as well.  We decorated the house, the windows and tables with all manner of hearts. We added colorful touches with the tablecloths, napkins, plates and cups that MB had thoughtfully included . We were having a heart attack here and it was spectacular and over-the top! For a month before the party, the children kept asking us if it was February 14 yet. They were so excited and MB had given them the gift of looking forward.  Thank you, but only twenty children????

Our newlywed night was a sweet success. After a dinner of Lasagna, salad, homemade rolls and brownie sundaes, the young couples played  a “How Well Do You Know Your Valentine” game with some surprising results. One young husband  realized that his cute bride knew him far better than he knew himself. And yet another young wife announced her pregnancy! We talked about what qualities are most valued in a spouse and we laughed a lot. At the end of the evening, each couple was sent away with a gift bag that held everything needed to create their own personal Valentines for each other. Two of the couples mentioned later than they went home and had a long talk about what they wanted most in their marriages. You can’t argue with success and thank you MB, for thinking of them.

Ward and I survived Valentines day and the onslaught of children and their parents. Some mothers arrived with extra treats for the children and one mother, even provided boxes of frozen fruit bars for us to share as well. We had more than we could have imagined and my thoughts went back to last Christmas as the generosity of others allowed us to provide a Santa for addition children . It seemed that both of these experiences were more than the sum total of their parts. We as always, are grateful for the miracles we see here on a regular basis. The open house that was to last three hours lasted four and at least two children cried as their mothers pried them away from the craft table. When the dust, or perhaps here I should say sand, settled, we realized that nearly seventy children had participated. Oh, MB, that is fifty  children more than twenty!

So, perhaps instead of using the word extravagance, I should opt for abundance, for that is truly something with which I am familiar. I revel in the abundance of my life. I am blessed by a myriad of good, thoughtful friends. Many of these friends have given me the opportunity to share with new friends here. Friends who will never meet each other have been blessed through the existence of the other.  Ward and I have an abundance of caring family members who have helped us along our way here and we are grateful for their love and support.  Last week this abundance in Raro, took the form of extra hugs from the children and bigger hugs from the adults who shared an evening with us. We have more than we need and if that is extravagance, then I will have to agree with Mae West. It was too much of a good thing and it was wonderful.

As always we are happy and trying to work hard. As our time here ticks down as it must, we now focus on fond memories created here and they combine in concert with those we have of each of you. How could life get any better? Perhaps a little snow on the beach for just a moment……….Yes, that would be extravagant, now wouldn’t it.

Love, Ward and Susan                            Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in the Cooks

Our windows are decorated and ready to party.

The cute gift bags for the newlyweds

A romantic scene is set for the newlywed dinner. I used my bedsheets for the white tablecolths.

Ake and Renal have been married eight months.

Junior and Pa found something red to wear and have been married six months.

Whoops, a not so young newlywed couple. The camera lighting wasn't bad, it was meant to look romantic.

The children have arrived for the party. This is one of my favorite photos of that day!

MaryBeth also supplied pencils, crayons, markers and construction paper. 

Our little friend picked her shirt especially to match the decor. She had been excited for a whole month!

Maricia helps Sydney and Georgia make the perfect Valentine.

We were not allowed to peek at her Valentine. We later learned that she was making it for us.

We frosted cupcakesin the kitchen. MaryBeth even supplied the cupcake liners (with hearts) and  the sprinkles to decorate the cupcake tops.

Does this look like a party for twenty????? Fun Fun!

Me and my Valentine, Angie John

When the party was over, Ward and I found this handmade basket and the accompaning heart handing in our kitchen. The heart says, " Happy Valentine Bellistons  Thank you for always thinking of our children. We will miss you. The Rongos 2012  

It doesn't get any better than this!

We hope that you all had a Happy Valentines Day and see you next week 

Adventures in Paradise 68

Adventures in Paradise 68

Kia Orana, everyone! Our excellent adventure continues with thoughts on what I would like people here to know before we leave this island. Many of us have had the unnerving experience of finding ourselves in a particular situation where the appropriate response eludes us.  Later frustration sets in as the perfect retort finally manifests itself, only to arrive too late to do us any good. The moment has passed and we are left with the ideal response to a situation that no longer exists. Being the queen of the missed opportunity, I am considering now, six weeks before our release date, what I would like to say to those we will be leaving behind. There are of course, the usual “I Love You” and “I will Miss You”, sentiments, but beyond that, what is it that I would like our dear friends here to remember?

I want them to know that we truly love them and have felt loved in return. We are now beginning the process of individual visits that provide us with the opportunity to spend private time with those with whom we have shared so much. We want them to know that we have appreciated being treated like family. We are grateful for the many acts of kindness that have come our way. We value the ties we will always have with each our “Rarotongan relatives”.  We hold dear those relationships that will stand the test of time and separation.  We care for our friends here more than we would have thought possible and it is breaking my heart to leave children who will begin walking and talking without us.

So, what would I like our friends to know? If we had one last opportunity to speak to those we love, what might we wish to say? How can we best share what is in our hearts? 

Thank you Jake, for meeting ever incoming international flight for the last thirty years. Your singing and ukelele playing is the first way that visitors know that they are welcome. We are grateful to know you and call you our friend.

We are grateful for experiencing the beauty of your world. Thank you for sharing it with us.

We are grateful for having learned about a culture where time has very little meaning. Thank you for teaching us the value of slowing down.

We are grateful that so many visited our home. Thank you for the opportunity to get to know you all.

We are grateful that you have allowed us to be part of your families. Thank you for the opportunity of loving your beautiful children.

We are grateful for the bounties of this island. Thank you for teaching us how to know when a breadfruit is ripe. Delicious!

We are grateful for all of the warm welcomes. Thank you for teaching us how to kiss on the cheek!

We are not certain that we are grateful for the Minah birds, but thank you for telling us their story.

We are grateful to see friends make a positive change. Thank you for the sweetness of those experiences.

We are grateful that Ward made it safely all around your island on his bicycle. Thank you for your honks and waves and shouts of support. Go Elder!! (His time was just under two hours)

We are grateful for the reminder of new beginnings. Thank you for sharing your island with us and showing us where to look.

We are grateful for a peaceful end of the day. Thank you for teaching us that the best color arrives about ten minutes after the sun has set. We have learned not to turn our backs too soon. I suppose that could be a metaphor for life, yes?

We are grateful for all of the meals we have shared with you. Thank for your generosity.

We are grateful for the gifts from your ocean. Thank you for teaching us about crayfish.

We are grateful for the beautiful surroundings. Thank you for helping us to appreciate it all.

We are grateful for moonlit nights. Thank you for sitting and visiting with us on our veranda on those quiet evenings.

We are grateful for the respect you have for your anscestors. Thank you for helping us to appreciate our own families more profoundly.

We are grateful for all those who have greeted us warmly. Thank you for loving us.

So, as always we are happy and trying to work hard. We realize now that we won't need to worry that we have neglected to say the perfect last word, if we continue to let our dear friends know that we are grateful and that we love them. That would seem to be enough, don't you think? 

Love, Ward and Susan                              Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in the Cooks



  



Adventures in Paradise 67

Kia Orana, everyone!  Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts about a very old saying and how it applies to life in the present.  Ward’s father Lester, whom I never met, had a way with words. He had an adage for almost any occasion. I have grown to know Lester through his son and even a grandson or two as they are fond of repeating his “Words of Wisdom”. Some of Lester’s favorite phrases  continue to elicit groans from everyone within earshot. When passing a cemetery Lester would ask, “Do you know how many dead people are buried there?” The answer : All of them. Please feel free to roll your eyes and groan if you wish. Or “Why are there fences around a cemetery?” The answer: Because people are dying to get in. Yes, I know. Another groan is most  appropriate here.  When asked if something tasted good to him, he would reply that it was good if you like it. I could go on, but I am certain that you get the idea. Lester Belliston was one of a kind.

Ward, being a chip off the old block is prone to repeating those tired old one-liners and I confess that I often tire of hearing them.  However, having survived last week’s brush with the  Rarotongan  legal system and with my  friend  safely back on American soil, I have had time to ponder the deeper meaning of one of Ward’s favorite “Lesterisms”.  “It will feel better when it stops hurting”, holds new meaning for me now as I consider what a blessing it is to feel better. When peace returns or the heart heals, it does feel better and I am grateful for knowing and experiencing the difference. 

As a child, I thought that my Heavenly Father had made a mistake when he created us. I couldn’t understand why we had to feel pain. Why would He want us to suffer? It seemed that pain served no purpose other than to make us uncomfortable or in some cases miserable. What was the point? One day I spoke to my mother about this and what she told me was so profound that I remember that conversation to this day. She told me that pain wasn’t a bad thing. It could serve as a warning or a caution. It could teach us to pull our hand away from a hot stove. It could signal that something was not right with our health. Pain was actually a protection from further harm and a warning that we needed to heed in order for us to stay safe. She said that pain was often a blessing.

Does it feel better when it stops hurting? Do we appreciate peace more fully after we have lived through turmoil?  Good health is never more valued than in those times that we don’t possess it.  Happiness  holds  greater worth to us when we have experienced its opposite. So, this week, I am made more keenly aware of the peace that we enjoy here having experienced the upheaval and uncertainty of last week. We are grateful to have the opportunity to make this comparison.

Sadly in the last two weeks, two young people on this island chose to take their own lives. These children, both under sixteen did not have the vision or understanding that it would feel better when it stops hurting.  They had not lived long enough to be able to look behind them to see this pattern develop in their own lives. They chose a permanent solution to a temporary problem, thus robbing themselves of the opportunity to learn what most of of us have learned along our way. As I grow older, more than ever I appreciate each new day for what it is. It is the opportunity to make choices that leave me in a better place than I was the day before. That new day gives me the opportunity to make change. It gives me the gift and possibility of feeling better.  It gives me hope.

So, the next time Ward uses one of his father’s axioms, I will try to be a little more patient. I will try to look at the deeper meaning. The jokes about the cemetery do not have a deeper meaning, as far as I am concerned, so I reserve the right to roll my eyes whenever those are mentioned. As for the rest, I will practice patience when Ward tells me that “It’s good if you like it” or “ It will feel better when it stops hurting”.  I now have positive knowledge that everything  does feel better when it stops hurting. I can finally see that Lester knew what he was talking about all along. I wish that I could have passed this vision on to the two young people that we lost this month.

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. We are grateful for the gifts in our lives that help us to feel better. We are grateful for those in our lives who support us by helping us to change our outlook, thus changing the outcome. We are grateful for the opportunity to make change and to enjoy another day with friends and family. We are just plain grateful!  Thank you for you love and support over the last seventeen months. Thank you for the e-mails, packages, letters and prayers. Thank you for asking about the children here that we love and thank you for loving us. We want you to know how much we appreciate having you in our lives. We are also grateful this week that we finally were “found”. We now have travel arrangements and a return date. We will arrive in Salt Lake City the evening of April 14, after having spent two weeks touring in New Zealand. Should you be interested, our homecoming is slated for Sunday, April 22, at 12:50. And to paraphrase Lester Belliston, "Life is good if you like it”.

Love, Ward and Susan                         Elder and Sister Belliston,serving in the Cooks  

Our photos this week are of things that make us feel better

The morning view from our living room holds the promise of a new good day

Picking a new flower for my hair always makes me feel better

A rainy day makes us feel like we are home

And we try to imagine that these are snow clouds. Kindly ignore the palm trees!

We feel better when the rain stops and everything is clean

Yes, the smell of rain and the water droplets on the palm fronds always makes us feel better.

Because of a storm somewhere in the South Pacific our waves are larger than usual. It is exciting to see them. They were even crashing over the sea wall at the airport. Beautiful!

We feel better knowing that these spectacular waves cannot harm anyone here.

We always feel better when the sun comes out on our own beach even though the waves are much larger that we are used to seeing. They are louder at night as well.

We always feel better when we look into the faces of the children.

I felt much better and very excited when my friend Mary Beth sent us a Valentine party in a box! She suggested this would be enough to entertain twenty children. Tune in next week to see just how many Rarotongans benefited from her kindness.