Adventures in Paradise    Volume 2         #3


Kia ora, our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on language and how it both connects and disconnects us.  Last weekend, during the Saturday morning session of LDS general conference, President Uchtdorf made a comment that made the audience laugh and also left me thinking. Earlier in the session, history was made when a speaker addressed the audience in Cantonese, which is that speaker's  native language. When President Uchtdorf rose to speak, he said that he had been asked if he also would be delivering his remarks in his native tongue, which is German. President Uchtdorf assured everyone that he would not be speaking in German, but then warned that it just might sound like he was! As I mentioned, the audience laughed and I started thinking.

Technically, Ward and I are not going to be learning a foreign language in preparation for our departure to New Zealand. Technically, we will still be speaking and hearing English in Hamilton. But although the words may be in English, the intent of the speaker may seem very alien to us. Our new excellent adventure will require that we learn and embrace "Kiwi English". For a few months, we may feel the need for a translator as we navigate grocery stores, shops, restaurants, freeways, country roads and most importantly, personal conversations with our new acquaintances and our old friends.

I have often said that I have always dreamed of living in a place long enough not to be considered a tourist. My goal was to feel that I was part of the culture. I also wanted to be able to speak in the native language.  That dream came true, as I learned to love the people of the Cook Islands. I learned to embrace umu cooking( underground oven), banana poke and taro. Just two weeks ago, I had an extreme craving for breadfruit! While in the Cooks I was able to respond in Maori to simple questions such as "How are you", and I even learned how to tell Ward to be quiet in Maori by saying "mania nia". For the most part, it was easy to separate the Maori from the English. Living in New Zealand will pose more of a challenge when it comes to understanding the locals and their intent.

The challenge we will face involves hearing ordinary, everyday English words, while reinventing their meanings in our minds. Reinvention will hopefully take place before the embarrassment of misunderstanding sets in. While shopping in a "Dairy", which is a corner or neighborhood shop , we will have to remember that our cracker is their wafer, our cookie is their biscuit and  they call our bar cookies slices . Bangers and mash are sausages and potatoes and our soda pop is their fizzy drink.

Once, while dining in a small cafe in Auckland, I made the mistake of asking for a napkin, only to have the waitress look at me inquisitively. In Kiwi a napkin or nappy is a diaper and I only realized later that I should have requested a serviette. We all know that the chips that accompany fish are really French fries, but would you know that if someone offered to "shout you dinner", you should immediately accept as they are offering to pay? If invited to brekie, arrive in the morning, and tea is the afternoon meal, rather than a hot drink. You must also be aware that in New Zealand restaurants an entree in not a main dish, it is an appetizer or something served at the beginning of the meal, with the the "Main" being served afterwards. At this point, are you experiencing a case of the "Colly wobbles" just trying to remember all of this or is your brain already choc-a-bloc with all of the new information you are storing in it?

Please consider this issue of Adventures in Paradise as your primer for "Kiwi English", and feel free to refer back to it in the coming months as our grasp of the new language sets in. File away the following terms: A New Zealand car park is their version of a parking lot and in it you will find cars with windscreens instead of windshields, bonnets instead of hoods and boots instead of trunks. If your car happens to experience an accident, it has been in a smash and will need the expertise of a fender beater to repair the damage. While you are waiting for the repairs to be completed, instead of hiring a car, you may try traveling on a push bike, but do not wear jandals (flip flops)while you are peddling. If you become hot and tired, you may want to stop for an ice block (popsicle). If that ice block cools you down too much, you might consider donning a jumper to warm up. Don't talk to strangers who appear dodgy and by all means, pay attention to where you are going because you don't want to end up in the wop wops (middle of nowhere) and realize that you are lost. Please, please remember to drive or ride on the right side of the road, which in New Zealand is the left side. Just remember that the left side is the right side.

We are keen to start our new adventure and hope that we have heaps of visitors. Time is short, as we only have eighteen sleeps before we enter the MTC, so we are moving as quickly as we can. Did I mention that New Zealand is also the home of Hobbits and glow worms? Please make your reservations early for the Belliston Hotel, er I mean Belliston flat or perhaps you could call it our crib, if you prefer. Crib is the term used to describe a holiday home, but we are not promising anything too fancy. By the way, if Ward starts teasing or joking with you, simply tell him to "get off the grass", which is a polite way of saying "stop pulling my leg". Please consider all of this to be true, not just a load of "cods wallop" and know that we will be looking forward to making  reservations for you at your earliest convenience. Remember that the early bird gets the glow worm! Once reservations are made, we will reply by saying "Good on ya mate", and we will eagerly await your arrival in the land of the "Long White Cloud".

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard as we begin packing for our further adventures in paradise. We hope that you will continue to join us and  please know that if you decide to visit, we will be happy to serve you a hearty brekie of bangers and mash and possibly even shout you dinner!

Love Ward and Susan,  Elder and Sister Belliston about to be serving in the New Zealand, Hamilton mission




Our last trip to New Zealand in April left us wishing for more. Subtitles and explanations are provided.

Ward is standing at the very most northern tip of the north island, Cape Reinga.  It's where the Pacific ocean and the Tasman sea meet. It is beautiful and peaceful.

On one side of the rocks is the Tasman Sea and on the other is the Pacific Ocean. It is breathtaking.

I am in love with lighthouses and this one on the north island at Cape Reinga is my new favorite.

 The north island is very green and reminds me of Ireland. Although sheep are still in abundance (see the little white dots in the photo) raising beef is now the larger business. New Zealand Corned Beef is delicious and very popular with the Polynesians. Looking at one of the New Zealand heads of beef, I tried to imagine just how many cans of corned beef one cow could provide! 

There were many lovely sunsets on the north island. New Zealand is called the "Land of the Long White Clouds". The clouds always seemed to hug the mountain tops.

 The Polynesians craft leis out of this flower, as it comes in many colors. I never did learn to pronounce the name correctly:   FRANGIPANI

When I first heard the term "All Blacks", I was taken aback. Now I know that it is the name of  New Zealand's national rugby team and the name refers to the color of their uniforms. We have become fans, just like the rest of the country.

Well, here is another name that is difficult to pronounce. But it's the sign in the background that I wanted to point out. It doesn't say entrance, it says, "Way In".  And if you were getting off the train, another sign would tell you to "Mind the Gap".

 While looking over this beautiful spot, I had hopes of sharing it with others. Please consider paying us a visit and seeing all of this for yourselves!