Adventures in Paradise Volume 2 #48

Kia ora! Our excellent adventure continues with thoughts of Thanksgiving and giving thanks. It is Friday here, but all day, my thoughts have been centered on events taking place thousands of miles away on your Thursday. I will admit to having focused on the clock an inordinate amount of time today, as I speculated on what may be happening at any given moment in Utah, Arizona or Texas.

This is our fourth Thanksgiving away from home and I will admit that I am suffering from some serious homesickness. As I have described this season to others, I am transported to a place where the air is crisp and it’s still possible to find some autumn leaves to crunch under foot. I have described steamed up kitchen windows and the blissful aromas emanating from that hive of activity. I am fondly missing associations with friends and family and the laughter and the general feeling of mellowness that settles over the evening. To me, it is magical and I miss it.

Finding the need for a major paradigm shift, I began to realize that while there will hopefully, be many more Thanksgivings at home, the chance that we will spend another one in our adopted country are slim. My shift involved a refocus. This afternoon, I have been pouring over photos that impart their own memories for which I am truly thankful. I am beyond grateful for the opportunities and experiences that have become the collage of our time here. We are thankful for the associations we have enjoyed with our new friends and we know that a year from now when we are enjoying a brisk walk while crunching leaves, we will be thinking of friends here who are traveling to a favorite beach for the Festive Season. While the aroma of a succulent turkey wafts through my kitchen, I will be carried back to celebrations where a pig or lamb roasted on an outside spit. I will smile at the memory of how instead of fighting over a drumstick, our Kiwi friends jockeyed to see who would receive the largest portion of crackle. Their way is magical as well and we will savor the memories we are collecting. We would like to share a little of the Kiwi magic with you and hope that you can catch the spirit of what we will surely be missing next year at this time.

   We are thankful for and will miss watercolor mornings.

 We are thankful that these elders showed us where to find the most delicious butter chicken in New Zealand. It was worth the hour drive to get to Curry King! We will miss it!

 We are thankful for technicolor sunrises viewed from our bedroom window.

 We were always grateful for this view as we returned home.

 We are thankful to have experienced Fejoas. They taste like fruit salad. Yum! 

 We are thankful to have seen so many exotic flowers. We will miss them.

 We are thankful for a time, we lived in a land of lighthouses.

 We are thankful to have seen a beautiful rainbow as it dropped into the sea.

 We were thankful when friends dropped by our home.

 Ward was thankful that he had a fresh breakfast available just outside his door.

 We were thankful when friends hung around.

 We were thankful when someone roasted a pig. The crackle is the crispy skin and Ward thinks that it's delicious. People are always fighting to get the last bit.

 We are thankful to have visited so many breathtaking places. We have lovely memories.

 We are thankful to have seen the Rhododendron  bush  bloom in our backyard. Next November, I will think of it and miss its amazing aroma.

 We are thankful to have lived near middle earth.

 I was thankful to share one of my favorite places in Gisborne with Ward's family. This is Sponge Bay and it is stunning.

 I am thankful to have experienced Rere Falls. Ward's family enjoyed it as well.

 I am thankful to have learned about Maraes.

We are so thankful to have shared our experiences here in New Zealand with amazing young people.

As always we are happy and trying to work hard. We treasure the relationships that have become the fabric of our lives and are so thankful to have your faces come into focus as we concentrate on one experience and memory after another. Thank you for traveling our road with us and please know that we are here giving thanks for you and what you bring into our lives. 

Love, Ward and Susan    Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in Gisborne, New Zealand

Adventures in Paradise Volume 2 #47

Kia ora! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on Technicolor impressions. This week, the news of the death of someone I greatly admire reached us here in New Zealand. As it happens, that news arrived almost two years to the day of her death, and for me, as you might imagine, my shock and disbelief were as fresh and painful as if it had just occurred. I simply could not believe she was gone.

So, as I have been thinking about Valerie, I have been very touched by her whole obituary, the first line of which sums up beautifully who she was and how those who knew her best regarded her. “Oh how she touched us with tips of wonder.” The text of her obituary goes on to speak about the many lives that she lovingly touched and how relationships with friends, and especially her family were so very important to her. It was a touching tribute to a lovely woman who had spent her life in the service of others.

In the novel, “Hawaii”, By James A. Mitchner, Jerusha Hale, a New Englander by birth, had been living in a very primitive Hawaii. After her marriage to the Reverend Hale, Jerusha faced a life of hardship in a strange land absent from all those she loved. Her entire life as she knew it was separated from her by a vast ocean and a life light years away from the one she used to know. One day, a ship sailed into the harbor with the most precious of cargos; letters from home. Jerusha excitedly held those packets to her breast as she almost frantically searched for a quiet spot where she could savor her letters in private. As she read, her euphoria evaporated when she realized that one of the messages contained news of her sister’s death almost two years before. Overcome with grief, Jerusha wondered at how it was that a sister whom she had loved so dearly had been gone for two I years without Jerusha ever instinctively feeling that loss. Upon opening my e-mail the other morning, I found myself having many of the same tender feelings that Jerusha must have felt. I found it curious that for these last two years, I have thought of Valerie in the present tense, not once having any inkling that she was gone. I finally found it comforting to realize that while others had been missing her, I had been able to enjoy two extra years of her being present in my mind. I am going to consider those two years a gift.

Valerie lived a very full and interesting life and she wasted no time enjoying it and the people around her. That is one of the lessons that she has left with me. At forty, she married for a second time and we used to laugh about the challenges of dating as “older women”.  Once when I asked how she happened to meet her husband and the love of her life, she simply replied that it was because she was colorful. Noticing the perplexed look on my face, she laughingly explained that she had been attending a singles dance and was standing among a group of women when her future husband walked through the door. As he tells it, he noticed the group of women, but they all appeared to him in black and white. Then he noticed Valerie and he saw her in Technicolor! What a wonderful effect to have on someone! I have always thought that that was one of the sweetest things that I had ever heard. I secretly (I guess not so secretly now) hoped that I could have a similar effect on others, as I so admired Valerie and wanted to possess some of the magic that made her who she was.

So, as I choose not to mourn, but rather to remember Valerie, I will look for her colorfulness in others. I will be grateful that I have true-blue friends and family. I will be so happy to regard those I love as inhabitants of a human crayon box, filled with differing hues and tints and I will take joy in knowing that we don’t always have to color within the lines. Valerie wore more jewelry at one time that I have ever owned in total and chose always to wear sandals even in the dead of winter because she wanted to be comfortable. And while she cared a great deal about what people thought of her as a person, she wasn’t concerned one moment with what they thought of her fashion choices. She was always Valerie. I think that it would be lovely if we could all from time to time, stand out from the rest of the crowd and be noticed and appreciated for our differences. Valerie was not afraid to be different and that is what made her so memorable. That and the fact that she could always be counted on to be there, where ever there was.

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. We are so grateful for the colorful characters in our lives and please know that we don’t see any of you in black and white. Actually, if I were to be honest, and I try always to be, I have mental images of most of you as a color and would be happy to share that information upon request. It might just make your day to see yourself as someone else does. Valerie seemed always to focus on what was most positive about the people she knew and while I knew her, she taught me to do the same. I will miss her, but am so overwhelmingly grateful to have known her and have been touched by her magic. I would hope that you all might have a Valerie or two in your lives, as it makes everything so much more interesting.

Love, Ward and Susan    Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in Gisborne, New Zealand

Adventures in Paradise Volume 2 #46

Kia ora! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on traditions. Lately, we have been trying to explain with some clarity, the reason for and the traditions associated with Thanksgiving. We are receiving a lot of blank stares as we attempt to describe a typical Thanksgiving Day and the menu that goes along with it. On a humorous note, I find it slightly ironic that in a country that describes most of its meals as a “feed” the locals do not seem to understand our description of overindulgence on the particular day! What our friends here do understand however, is the focus on spending time with friends and family. They gravitate to that particular concept because so many of their traditions are intrinsically tied to connecting with others.

Such is the sweet and very ancient practice of the Hongi. If you have ever witnessed two persons touching noses and foreheads in greeting, you may have wondered at the meaning of that particular gesture. It is a welcome deeply spiritual in nature and usually done between people who feel safe and familiar with each other. It may also be used as a welcome for visiting dignitaries, but traditionally this form of hello is saved for close acquaintances who revere and honor each other. When the Hongi is used to greet a visitor, this “ sharing of breath”, transports that guest from the status of a newcomer to that of a person belonging to the land.

Tradition tells us that the Hongi recalls the Maori legend of the creation of the first earthly woman, Hineahuone. She was formed from clay by the creator god, Tane, who then breathed life into her nostrils. In more modern times, the Hongi has become a traditional Maori greeting where people press their noses together, thus symbolizing the sharing of breath. What can be more touching between friends that to participate in a welcome where they share the same breath?  I found the symbolism very touching and I have found myself contemplating some of the ways that we, of another culture, practice our own form of the Hongi.

Tane breathing life into the woman he has created

My thoughts turn to all of you that I hope to hug on returning home. That physical gesture, combined with the closeness that it engenders, symbolizes to me a sharing of one heartbeat. We are happy to see each other!  Similarly, the experience of shedding tears with someone evokes a commonality of emotion at that moment. We learned in the Cooks to kiss on the cheek and have been thrilled to see that practice continued here in New Zealand. To me all of these greetings are far superior to the handshake, so we hope to make you all a little more Kiwi or Cookie by focusing past your out stretched hand to your cheek! You may grow to love that particular greeting as much as we do!

As is often the case, in attempting to teach our new friends about our culture, we have found ourselves instead, learning much more from them about theirs. We had a gathering at our home last evening and once again, witnessed the touching exchange of breath between two very old and dear friends. They also had their arms around each other and seemed reluctant to release. There was no embarrassment in the greeting, just a quiet interaction that we felt privileged to witness.

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. Many of you have heard me say that I always wanted to live somewhere long enough not to feel like a tourist. In my life, I am grateful that this experience of acclimating has been a blessing in my life twice and it has changed my perspective in more ways than I can count. This December, many of our Cook Island friends will be spending time in Hamilton attending the temple and we will have the lovely opportunity of sharing some time with them. There will be hugs, back slaps, and laughter. We will enjoy favorite traditional Cookie foods that we have missed and we are excited to anticipate the singing and dancing that will be part of every evening. It will be like coming home. And speaking of coming home, we are looking forward to much of the same interaction with you next spring when we return to Utah. Perhaps there will be a little less singing and dancing on my part, because I expect Ward to pick up the slack on his end of those particular items! I can promise hugs, kisses on the check and tears, not necessarily in that order. We love you and miss you and find that we are thinking of you often and fondly.

Love, Ward and Susan    Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in Gisborne, New Zealand  

Adventures in Paradise Volume 2 #45

Kia ora! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on epilogs and prologs. Last week, we shared a behind-the-scenes peek at a typical transfer day in the mission field. As is often the case, the blog took on a direction all of its own. I did not anticipate the many comments that we would receive regarding the resurfacing of memories from others who had served. We were touched as many of you shared your tender recollections of those transitional moments and how much it meant to you to be reminded. One friend simply stated that it was touching to see how much these young people grow and mature as they adapt to change and face new responsibilities. So, as we move into a new week and a slightly new subject, I have chosen to regard the events of last week as an epilog; we have experienced the end of a certain era and now must look towards new adventures where we will navigate our now-slightly altered reality with a revised cast of characters.

A prolog looks towards the future and I thought that you might enjoy meeting our four beautiful young sister missionaries. They are beginning their journey together here in Gisborne with enthusiasm and positive attitudes. As I was speaking with them, there were tears and laughter as they discussed their own epilogs. They spoke of their homes, their families, their adjustments and insecurities. They collectively mentioned that the belief in what they have been called to do and the faith that they are in the right place at the right time is ultimately what sustains them when change or disappointment visits. They learn, even in the very early days of new companionships, to look to each other for the grounding that they need to keep moving forward. It is touching to see how quickly these new relationships develop, especially as they adjust not only to a new country and its culture, but also to a new companion who also brings  her own cultural slant to the relationship. I regard this adapting as one of the many miracles that we witness here on a daily basis.

Introducing our four sister missionaries who serve in Gisborne. Some of you may be surprised by the diversity, but that is one of the things that we love best about our little district. Beginning at the left, please meet Sister Ma, Sister Puluto, Sister Dynkova, and Sister Tilley. This photo was taken within minutes of their meeting each other for the first time and as we had the opportunity to check in with them yesterday, we found that all four were still smiling!

Sister Ma and Sister Dynkova:  ( Sister Ma is on the left)

Sister Ma was born in Tonga, and eventually moved to Auckland as a twelve-year-old girl. It is interesting to note here, that of the four sisters in our district, she is the only one allowed to drive in New Zealand. When she opened her mission call, her first thought was “No Way!” as she was being assigned to her own country! AND the Hamilton, New Zealand mission is only a stone’s throw away from her own neighborhood! She laughingly noted that her first assigned district was a twenty-minute drive from her home, so she didn’t tell her family where she was posted. She finally mentioned this to her mother on Mother’s Day with a “Don’t come and visit me” request!  I can only imagine what it is like for a mother to know that her child is so close yet so far away! When asked about the challenges of assimilating into a new culture, Sister Ma said that she was already used to the food and the culture, but was having trouble with people being so generous. She was not used to having three meals a day and certainly not used to being served a heaping plate of food and being expected to finish every bit of it! Sister Ma no longer thinks about the proximity to her family and instead is focused on the work. She has loved each companion and appreciates them for the blessings of diversity they bring into her life. She has learned so much from each of them and is currently working to perfect her “eyebrow technique”…….. more about that technique later.  Sister Ma is happy and working hard.

Sister Dynkova arrived in New Zealand from the Czech Republic after traveling thirty-two hours! She is grateful for kind strangers who answered the prayers of a confused traveler who did not speak much English. She is the first missionary in a three generation L.D.S. family and she is excited to be serving. She was happy to be called to New Zealand as she wanted to improve her English language skills, but has found it to be more difficult that she anticipated. She is amazed and sometimes perplexed by a culture so different from her own and is still getting used to “invasion of personal space” and being kissed on the cheek by everyone, including strangers. She has come to love Pavlova and chop suey. She finds it humorous that they are not invited to dinner, but rather to a “Feed”. For several months, early in her mission Sister Dynkova was frustrated and sometimes offended by what appeared to be very rude and dismissive behavior directed towards her by the Maoris. She would ask a question where she was expecting a yes answer and instead of an oral response, she would be met with a raise of the eyebrows. In her country, that simple response was considered very rude and Sister Dynkova’s feelings were hurt by that particular behavior. Eventually, Sister Dynkova came to learn that the raising of the eyebrows is the preferred form of yes, especially among the Polynesians and that they weren’t being rude to her at all! Now her companion, Sister Ma uses her particular eyebrow technique to coax a smile and often a giggle out of her companion! Sister Dynkova is happy and working hard.

 

Sisters Pulotu and Tilley   (Sister Pulotu is on the left)

Sister Pulotu comes to us from Vara’u Tonga, one of the major islands that comprises that country. She says that heaps of people live on that island and her definition of heaps is somewhere over one thousand! She was praying hard that she would be assigned to an English-speaking mission so that she would be able to apply to BYU-Hawaii at the end of her service. Her father wants her to get out of Tonga, become educated and have a better life that he can offer her were she to stay in her own country.  She had prayed to be called to the Philippines (not sure about the English there) or Australia, but realized that her prayers had been answered by her assignment to New Zealand.  One of the strangest things that Sister Polotu found in New Zealand was the fact that so many people live in partnerships without being married. She said that in Tonga, they would chase you out of the village if you were with a partner. When a relationship produces a child in her country, the young parents do not live together, but the father is expected to be responsible in support of his child. Sister Pulotu does not care for Kiwi meat pies or hangis (underground oven cooked meals) but is addicted to KFC, as there is no KFC in Tonga. She doesn’t like transfers because you have to get to know everyone all over again and sometimes people that the missionaries work with are sad to lose an old friend and they don’t want to take the time to get to know a new missionary. She says that leaving an area is stressful, but has learned that things have a way of working out. She always wishes for an islander for a companion, rather than a Palangi ( white person), not because of any prejudice, but rather she feels that less time is wasted getting used to someone else’s new ways. But the positive side is that the Palangi companions have helped her to improve her English! It’s all good and she is always trying  to be a positive person. Sister Polotu is happy and working hard.

Sister Tilley grew up in Suva, Fiji and cried when she received her call. She was happy not to be serving in her own country, but really wanted to be very far away from home. She was especially drawn to Russia or Africa, as she thought that she would be able to lose weight and return home thinner. She says that as she nears the end of her mission, serving in Gisborne is the icing on the cake. This is probably not the best description for someone who wanted to diet, but she loves it here! She has been successful in resisting the traditional meal of “boil-ups” where everything is just tossed into a pot and cooked to death. She has loved all of her companions, although she has always found transfers difficult. But she has learned that each change of companion brings something new and helpful. Sister Tilley has noticed that each of her companions has been useful in helping her work with and overcome one or another of her weaknesses and she is grateful. Her favorite “Kiwi” restaurant in Carl’s Jr. and since it’s also her father’s favorite, she thinks of him every time she bites into a burger! Sister Tilley is a force to be reckoned with and we admire her spirit. Sister Tilley is happy and working hard.

We love these sisters and admire them for their unbridled enthusiasm and their love of the work that they take so seriously. We have enjoyed sharing a meal and a good laugh with them. They think that Ward is cheeky and wouldn’t have it any other way. I am lucky that I am able to give them huge hugs while Elder Belliston is relegated to handshakes. These are sweet young women and we consider it a blessing to be able to serve with them. We are thrilled to know that at least for the foreseeable future, these amazing girls are with us in our little town.

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. Having served our last mission “marooned” on an island by ourselves, we consider it this mission’s bonus to allow us the opportunity to interact with such remarkable young people. It should go without saying that the bonus of our lives at home is the opportunity we have to associate with each of you.

Love, Ward and Susan    Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in Gisborne, New Zealand