Adventures in Paradise Volume 2 #51

Kia ora! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts concerning being remembered. I believe that it would be a very rare person who would not wish to be remembered. Perhaps we hope that after we depart this life, friends and family will miss our presence and remember us fondly. We appreciate the thoughtfulness of a birthday greeting knowing that someone has been reminded of our special day. We yearn to be remembered fondly for the good things that we have accomplished and often pray that others may develop short memories concerning the not-so-stellar things we have done. This time of the year engenders feelings concerning both sides of the same coin. We are grateful to be remembered but also take special care while remembering to think of others.

At this moment, we are overwhelmed by the evidence that so many of our friends have remembered us this holiday season. Two weeks ago, a box arrived from America and Ward and I, having a pretty clear idea of what it held, were in awe concerning both the size of the box and its weight. This box is an annual tradition in our home ward in Salt Lake City. Each year, well before Christmas, the relief society begins accepting donations that will ultimately end up filling the Christmas stockings that are sent to all of the missionaries who are serving from our ward.  One of the very talented women in our ward hand crafts beautiful Christmas stockings that are then filled with the donations. It may sound greedy to admit that we have grown very fond of this tradition as this is the fourth time that we have received one of these packages. We are not ashamed to confess that we are as excited about our fourth box as we were about our first.  We are aware that not only are the people of our ward generous, but they very often put great thought and effort into individualizing the gifts for a specific receiver. It touches our hearts to know that in the bustle of the season, someone has taken extra care to include a card, gift or simply a note that is personally directed towards us. As I opened the box, I tried very hard not to look specifically at any of the gifts or to access the size of any of the envelopes. I filled our stocking then placed the rest of the items from the box under our little tree. Most of the gifts were wrapped, but the inclusion of two brightly colored yo yos speaks to the fact that someone knows us (or Ward) well enough to be confident that we will put them to good use and have a wonderful time learning a few tricks. We will have to remember, however, to avoid practicing our yo yoing near plate glass windows or very small children!

Over the years, I have almost always contributed to the stockings in one form or another. But to be truthful, and I always try to be, I will say that until I was actually the recipient of one of these stockings, I did not fully appreciate what it would mean to the receiver to have one of these boxes appear . It is a touching and very tender moment when that carton is opened and all of the love that fills it becomes visible. From now on, when it’s time to fill stockings for others, I will take more care in finding something that will suit the person for whom it’s intended. I have learned to be more thoughtful and to be more creative in my gifting. I now more fully understand what it means to be so far away from home and know that I am remembered. Being remembered, I believe, is the next best thing to actually being home to share the season in person.

Ward and I have a rule; well I have a rule and Ward accepts it, that we won’t peek or unwrap anything until Christmas Eve, when we will open the gifts under the tree, saving the filled stocking for Christmas day. So, we haven’t any idea what surprises await us, if you don’t count the yo yos and that one bag of holiday mints that we just couldn’t resist. We appreciate the other cards and parcels that have arrived displaying American postage and we are grateful for the miracle of technology which has enabled so many of you to convey your greetings to us electronically.

On a very sweet side note, Sister Saunders, who works in the mission office, has kept track of all of the packages that have arrived for each missionary. In that process, she has also kept a running account of the missionaries who have not received, or most likely will not receive any kind of remembrance. With the help of others, she is filling forty stockings with donated items so that each missionary will be remembered next week.  We are happy that we will be able to donate a box of beautiful mandarins freshly picked from the trees in our backyard. It is my guess that it won’t matter much to each of these young people so far away from home, that there are any particular items in their stocking. Rather, it will simply matter that they were remembered. And long after the specifics of what was filling those stockings is lost to memory, the knowledge that someone remembered will always be with them.

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. We are grateful to be remembered, but ever more grateful to cherish the memories we have made together. We think of you often and want you to know that we remember. Being remembered, I think, is one of the greatest gifts we can receive. We are also mindful of the Reason for the season and are reminded that if you take away the “mas” from the spirit of Christmas, you are left with the spirit of Christ. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone!

Love, Ward and Susan       Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in Gisborne, New Zealand

The Box

Our Stocking 

What didn't fit in the stocking was placed under the tree.

I love to think of these extras as "leftovers"

Adventures in Paradise Volume 2 # 50

Kia ora! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on an American folk legend and how that legend applies to life in general as well as how it fits in with the sweet ending to our week in particular.  John Chapman was an orchardist who was born in the 1700’s. He spent his life planting apple orchards as he moved from one place to another. He taught others his craft as well as an appreciation for horticulture. He really did not become famous until becoming a folk hero at the hands of Walt Disney. John Chapman became Johnny Appleseed and those of us who are old enough to remember have images in our mind’s eye of a lanky young man tramping through the American Midwest dropping apple seeds randomly as he traveled. Johnny was sometimes depicted barefoot and was often pictured wearing his cooking pot on his head instead of a proper hat. The folklore that surrounds him gives Johnny much of the credit for the beautiful apple orchards that we now appreciate and for the delicious fruit that we harvest from them today.  In truth, the apples that John Chapman planted were not really edible, rather they were intended for the production of hard cider, but that point is quickly eclipsed as our folk hero becomes larger than life in our minds.

For the purpose of this blog, it doesn’t really matter what kind of apple John planted or what they were used for in the end. What matters is the point that someone planted seeds and there was a harvest. It matters that someone’s hard work resulted in a positive and lasting benefit for so many. It matters that once again, we learn that from very simple beginnings great things can come to pass. We are reminded that whatever sort of seeds we plant may have lasting effects on others in the future. Sometimes we are in a position to personally experience the positive results of our sowing. Often, we may never know what sort of harvest we have created, and either way, we find that there are simply blessings in the planting.

Five years ago in the Cook Islands, we met a  father of two beautiful young daughters. We invited this little family to our home and many meals were shared as we got to know each other better. Gustav loved his wife and daughters, but was not particularly interested in coming to church with them or in participating in any church-related activities. He was pleasant enough with us and sometimes seemed genuinely happy to see us. There were other times that we can now smile about, as we recall seeing him attempt to hide as we approached his home. Nothing makes one feel more welcome that knowing that someone is trying to find a place to disappear rather than speak with you! Ask any missionary and they will be able to relate similar instances as it is a universal experience. In the end, we maintained a very loving and friendly relationship with Gus and he even cried as he bid us farewell at the Rarotonga airport.

We learned last year that all of the seeds we sowed with Gus did not fall on rocky ground or blow away as we had assumed they had. At least one small seed germinated and last year Gus decided that it was his time to listen. We were thrilled when we heard from friends on the island that Gus had been baptized. We also smiled as we fondly, well for the most part fondly, reminded each other of the tactics that Gus employed to avoid us. He actually sent word through friends that he was sorry that he had ditched us and he wished that he had listened sooner. We sent word back that it was all good and there were no hard feelings. We even jokingly congratulated him on his elusiveness.

This week our mission president gave us permission to travel outside of our area so that we could spend a little time with our Cook Island friends who were visiting Hamilton and serving in the temple. We were aware that many of our favorite people would be in attendance and we looked forward to spending some hours in the evenings with them. We desperately needed hugs and kisses on the cheek from our friends and we could hardly wait to hear them singing and to join in with them. To our delight and utter joy, some of the first faces that we saw as we entered the room were those of Gustav and his wife, Elizabeth. After the initial bear hugs and teary kisses, we learned that their little family was going to be sealed together in the temple for eternity the next morning! What timing! We had no idea that this was happening but luckily our schedule worked out perfectly so that we could be with them on their special day.

As we tearfully observed Friday morning, Gustav, Elizabeth and their now three beautiful little girls, all dressed in white, surrounded a holy altar in the temple and were sealed together as an eternal family. There was not a dry eye in the room as many of us reflected back on another earlier time where this scenario would not have been possible. Seeds had been planted and without our realizing it, some had taken root and the fruit of that sowing resulted in the very sweet morning that we experienced on Friday.

How odd it seemed to me that as I sat observing the ceremony that morning, suddenly thoughts of Johnny Appleseed came to mind. I had always loved that story, but as a young child, could not quite grasp the concept of doing something that I might not receive credit for, or even worse, not be available to see the way things turned out. The legend seemed to indicate that Johnny randomly threw seeds in every direction with no real planning. In truth, John Chapman did have a plan. His plan was directed, and focused. The seeds and trees that he planted had a very high probability of survival because he took care with them. The extra factor that made such an undertaking successful was that he taught others how to take care of the trees in his absence. We planted the seeds with Gus, then left him in the capable hands of others who went about the business of watching over and tending to him. Many of those same tenders were in the temple with that family Friday and they will continue to watch over them in the future.

As always we are happy and trying to work hard. We are grateful for the experiences of this last week. Ward laughingly joked with Gustav, as they were hugging each other, that  he could run, but in the end could not continue to hide. Gus has no intentions of hiding any longer. We are also grateful that our particular life’s harvest includes so much love and thoughtfulness produced from seeds that you all have planted. We are, most especially at this time of year, grateful for the place that each of you occupies in our lives. Our association with you are the fruits of lives well lived and we wouldn’t change a thing.

Love, Ward and Susan        Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in Gisborne, New Zealand

This photo of Gustav and Elizabeth with their girls was taken Friday evening after their sealing. There is no mistaking how happy and peaceful they are. xoxoxoxoxo

We spent the end of a perfect Friday surrounded by some of our Cook Island friends.

Adventures in Paradise Volume 2 #49

Kia ora! Our excellent adventure continues with thoughts concerning a sweet island custom that we hope to emulate when we return home. Five years ago, as we began our service in the Cook Islands we observed something very interesting. After ending our visit at a particular home, we realized that after saying goodbye, our hosts would remain standing in the doorway of their homes until we were well away. Sometimes there would be continual waves from our new friends as we departed and we found it touching, that even in a rainstorm, those waves would continue. Often, in lieu of waves, there were simply wide grins and again no move to return indoors until we had driven away. It seemed to us to represent the highest form of respect and we were touched by their thoughtfulness.

Since arriving in New Zealand, we have been happily surprised to find that the islanders here have the same method of saying their goodbyes. Over and over again, we have witnessed entire families remain in place outside their homes as they wave their farewells to us upon our departure. While I cannot pinpoint the origin of such a practice, I have grown to appreciate the thought behind it. And while I have grown to expect this same sort of farewell everywhere we go, I can honestly say that it never ceases to be a touching finale to time spent with friends.

It occurs to me that no one here ever turns his back on a visitor and I believe that this attitude carries over into other aspects of life in the  “Land of the Long White Cloud”. There is gentility in even the most modest of homes which translates to the way visitors are treated. It doesn’t matter who you are; if you have been paying a visit, your farewell will remain the same. It’s just the way life is here and it’s lovely.

So, as we have been the recipients of such thoughtfulness over the years and across two countries, we have learned by example the sweetness involved in saying a proper goodbye. Our habits have been permanently altered by the kindness of others. And isn’t it lovely to learn through kind example how to make a change for the better?  No longer can we imagine closing the door behind a guest who is walking away from our home. It smacks of having turned our backs on a visitor and that just doesn’t feel right. Where before our life in the islands, I would not have given a second thought to moving back into my home as my guest was still within eyesight. Now my sensitivities have shifted and that shift will now find us standing at our door waving, calling out our goodbyes and watching until our visitor is well out of sight.

It’s a simple but powerful reminder to all of us that we can choose or learn to choose not to turn away from someone. There are enough rebuffs in the world as it is. Social media makes it so easy to unfriend, delete, or simply ignore others that it seems a wonderful opportunity to do just the opposite. I am suggesting a little social experiment as it were. The next time you say goodbye to a visitor, expand your farewell time by remaining fixed in your doorway until your guest has moved well past your line of sight. I promise you that it will make someone’s day. If your visitor doesn’t notice the first time, I am almost positive that they will notice eventually and in the meantime, you have the satisfaction of knowing that you have continued to make someone feel welcome even as they were leaving.

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. We are all lifetime learners and lessons that focus on improving relationships with others are some of the most valuable lessons that we can ever learn. Please be assured that if you honor us with a visit where ever we may be, we will honor you by letting you know how happy we were to have your company. I am reminded of Jane King, who used to live in our neighborhood. Every day, as her husband left home to walk to the university, Jane would stand on her porch and wave goodbye to Jim until he was well out of view. I have never forgotten the sweetness of Jane’s daily gesture and now hope that someone I know may have that same sort of memory as they leave my home. Good for you, Jane!

Love, Ward and Susan      Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in Gisborne, New Zealand

Samantha is blind, so we waves until she can no longer hear our car. 

Antasia and her baby did not budge until we turned the corner at the end of her lane. Her other children were in school or they would have been there as well to say goodbye.