Adventures in Paradise Volume 2 #60

Kia ora! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on the words we use and the ways in which we choose to use them. From our perspective, while living over ten thousand miles from America, we are becoming alarmed by the increasing intensity of the rhetoric being displayed as the political process plays itself out across the country.

At first I found it curious that more of our Maori friends were asking about what they considered to be the mean-spirited tone of the debates than were our Kiwi friends. But as I spoke with them, it became clear that the Maori people possess a much different attitude towards their language and the rules that govern its use. There seems to be a much higher law concerning verbal interaction in the Maori culture and that difference is one of the reasons that our friends here are so mystified by the behavior displayed by some of the American candidates.

One of my Maori friends explained to me that in their language there is no profanity. The worst thing that you can say to a person is that you want to boil their head! In that culture, the Maori believe that the embodiment of the true person is centered in that person’s head. If you were to boil that particular body part, you would in essence, dilute their identity, their sense of self and their personal power. It is truly a fate worse than death, although death would certainly be the result. But that threat is hardly ever made, because it is prevented by other rules of conduct within the community. We have spoken before about Maraes and the special place that they hold in the lives of native New Zealanders. Those buildings were the center of the community and were used for everything from religious observances to public meetings to funerals. The buildings were considered sacred and treated with great respect. Even today, an outsider must be formally invited onto the Marae by a member of that particular community. One cannot simply walk in without an invitation and expect to be welcomed.

The traditional code of behavior prohibits any arguing or derogatory conversation once one enters the building. You may disagree with anyone you choose outside, but the moment you enter the Marae, proper conduct is expected. The Maroi have such a distaste for public displays of bad behavior that currently most meetings concerning land management or those having to do with treaty discussions are all conducted in Maori specifically because there is no way to express profanity in that language. The aim is to stay level-headed and respectful. I was struck by the civility of these decisions and found myself desperately wishing that we Americans could somehow adopt the same tone in our behavior. Can you imagine the atmosphere in political or religious debates if the participants were held to Maroi standards of interaction? That is a movement that I could certainly get behind and I would vote for that idea without a moments hesitation!

Another curious aspect of the Maori language is that it has fewer superlatives than does English. When ever I hear a Maori speak in their language or sing one of their beautiful songs, I have noticed that often the same word was repeated two or three times within the same sentence or stanza. When asked, a friend explained that instead of using a superlative as a description, the word was simply repeated for emphasis. That repetition relays to the listener the esteem in which the object or person is held. It seems a very simple concept, but when you think of it, the idea of respectful repetition can engender a whole new way of expressing love or admiration. I have been experimenting with this concept in the past few days and I have found it touching to experience the tender feelings that come by simply repeating the same word or name two or three times. I will leave it to you to insert any word you wish should you think to try the same experiment, but I think that you will find that this simple change can carry with it great impact.

The lessons on respect and civility that I have learned from my sweet friends here in New Zealand, will stay with me for a lifetime. Do I wish that the ongoing drama that has become our political process would adapt some of the attitudes that prevail here? Yes, of course I do! It would be so refreshing to see candidates express differing opinions without trading insults, but for now, it just seems to be the way it is. Last week, my blog centered around the difference that one person can make. While we may not be in a position to encourage positive change in the political arena at this moment, we can take steps to encourage respectful behavior within our own spheres of influence. One person who chooses to behave in a positive and restrained manner towards others, just may leave a lasting legacy with those who will be our future leaders. In the meantime, our interaction with others need not resemble the child-like behavior that we are being subjected to at the moment.

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. We value the lessons that we have learned here in the last 17 months and look forward to the time when we again will be positively influenced by the examples that you set for us at home. If I were to just close by saying, “Home, Home, Home”, I am certain that you would understand how much we have missed it and you.

Love Ward and Susan      Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in Gisborne, New Zealand

 

 

 

We thought that you might enjoy a little tour of some of the Maraes in our area. You might notice that the color scheme is always the same and the intricate carvings are stunning.