blackrockbulletin: Adventures in Paradise 56

Adventures in Paradise 56

Kia Orana, everyone! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on new beginnings and a surprise twist thrown in for good measure. Our story this week concerns our interaction with a young couple whom we have grown to love and an ending for this blog that we did not expect.

Earlier this year, a young woman approached us and wanted to speak with us concerning her sister. She wanted to introduce us to her sister, Mumsy and Mumsy’s partner, Tere. Mumsy and Tere had been together for some time, but their relationship was eroding and Mumsy, who loved Tere and wanted to be married, was concerned that their life together was in danger of not continuing. I’m not certain why we were approached and that doesn’t matter. What matters is in that evening, we began a journey with our new friends that has taken us places we never expected to go.

It is not for me to be specific about most of the challenges that this young couple were facing. But I can say that Mumsy wanted to be a family and Tere, although he cared for her was not certain that he wanted a life that restricted his options. Neither had peace and there was very little trust between the two. It was a very unhappy and frustrating existence and neither knew what to do or how to change the situation. For a long time, we just listened to both of them and let them talk, as we weren’t certain that we would have the answers either. I lost a lot of sleep over those two new friends in the next few months!

One day Mumsy told us that she was pregnant. Now there was an added dimension to the situation and that’s when Mumsy’s mother stepped in. The mother suggested that when the baby was born, she would take the baby with her to one of the outer islands and together with the grandfather, would raise the child as their own. As strange as this may seem to you, it is not an uncommon practice here. Tradition in the islands has a lot of young parents handing over newborns to their older and more experienced parents to raise. It is even expected by some of the old school that the first baby will go to the girls parents and the second baby may go to the boys parents. Eventually, the couple may raise children, but by then, someone else is raising their older offspring and they may not ever really get to know them. We were stunned when we first heard about this practice and stunned again when Mumsy told her mother that yes, she could take the baby. To be fair to Mumsy, she felt like her parents could do a better job of raising the infant and she did want the best for the child. We had long talks about how we felt that a child needed its mother and that she shouldn’t be making any hasty decisions. We could add here, that Tere was not aware of these plans.

Ward and I felt strongly that we needed to do anything that we could to help these two become a family. We talked a lot, we shared meals, we answered questions and we taught them what we knew. And we prayed; a lot!! Gradually we began to notice change, not only in Mumsy, as she became more obviously pregnant, but in the relationship between the two of them. Mumsy started coming back to church and Tere started to come with her. Eventually, there was a wedding and shortly after that, Tere was baptized in our ocean. During one conversation, I was brave enough to ask about plans for the baby and Tere voiced his heartfelt wish to keep that baby with them. He wanted to be a father! He wanted to take on the responsibility of his family and now nothing in his life was more important to him than that. In a loving way, he expressed to his wife that he had never been asked how he felt about sending the baby away and Mumsy tearfully told him that she really hadn’t wanted to do that, but only wanted the best for her child. That night, when they left our home, they had made decisions that involved positive changes for their future. They were beginning to work and plan together and they were happy. We began talking about the baby in real terms and I told them that I was certain that it would be a boy. I started calling him "Little Whats His Name" and he became the focus of many of our discussions. We all already loved that child!

Monday evening we received a call from Mumsy informing us that “Little Whats His Name” had arrived and would we please come to the hospital to meet him. Would we ever! We walked in to see all three members of this little family cuddled together on one single hospital bed. The following photos speak for themselves and we are thrilled to share them with you. Tere was excited that he was going to be able to give his new son his first bath and the look on his face says it all, I think. He kept repeating over and over that “He is my son!” And I simply said, “Yes he is”. When Mama asked whether the baby was going home to the outer islands with her, both new parents lovingly, but firmly told her no, that he was theirs to raise and love. Thankfully, Mama didn’t argue!

As we were leaving, Mumsy whispered something to Tere and they both smiled. She said that we had forgotten to ask what they were naming the baby. In all of the sweetness of the evening, it hadn’t occurred to us to ask. “Little Whats His Name” had a new name based on family ties. His first name is a combination of the names of Tere and his two brothers. Before we left that hospital room, Mumsy hugged us and thanked us for rescuing her husband. We actually think that we simply gave him the tools to rescue himself, but the result is the same, isn’t it? We will let you see for yourselves why we left the hospital that night in tears. Please meet the newest child that has our hearts.

Temana Belliston Taia

So, as usual we are happy and trying to work hard. Life has been good for us this week. We have had the privilege of watching a new family begin their journey together. We will also have the opportunity to watch this little boy grown up as he learns from a loving father how to be a man. We have had much the same experience with many of you as we have watched your families grow and change. And it has been so touching to see how quickly children grow up. Happy Birthday to my son, Travis, who will be 35 next week! I have no idea where the time went and I would give anything to go back and have one more day with my little boys.

Love, Ward and Susan Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in the Cooks