Adventures in Paradise Volume 2 #12

Kia ora! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on communication; the good, the bad and the ugly.  As many of you are aware, Ward and I do not own cell phones. After returning from the Cook Islands, we made the decision to live with less “stuff”.  We had spent eighteen months among people who had so little that we became uncomfortable with having so much more. Originally, before we left for Rarotonga, I worried about who would cut my hair and how I was going to find someone to do my nails. Almost immediately, I realized that those concerns should not be concerns at all. We learned to do more with less and in the process, learned a lot about our ability to adapt.

But I digress. I have long been frustrated by some segments of modern communication. We are indeed grateful for all those conveniences that allow almost instant access, but as instant as it all is, there is a certain amount of disconnect. Where once people actually spoke face-to-face with each other, that eye contact has been replaced by texting even among those who are in the same room. People are entertaining themselves by wearing headsets and earbuds (who knew what that term meant 20 years ago?) often becoming so engrossed in what’s going on inside their heads, that they neglect to pay attention to what’s going on around them. I once had a confrontation with a student who refused to take out both earpieces during class. He argued that he could listen to me with one ear and still listen to his music with the other!

But I again, I digress. The main point and the focus of this week’s blog was meant to address miscommunication.  I have been struck by the misunderstandings that can occur when one is not able to hear tone of voice. Looking at someone while actually listening to them can offer huge insight.  Sometimes even a missing or misplaced comma or other punctuation mark can lead to a major breakdown in our appreciating the message and its original intent. Often a lack of cultural awareness leads to mistakes in judgement and miscues. Such was the case with Captain Cook.

Captain Cook was a famous explorer and navigator. His map-making skills are legendary and even now, he is esteemed for the accuracy of his work. His ship, the Endeavor, sailed and explored its way across most of the Pacific. He was fearless and intrepid. He spent many years discovering new isles in those vast waters and for the most part, developed friendly relationships with the Polynesians . He would often land in a new area, befriend the natives, enjoy their hospitality then depart having either eaten up, used up or loaded up all of the local resources. There are stories of how once friendly natives became less friendly as the ships crew literally ate them out of house and home. The Endeavor would then sail away, leaving the locals hungry and waiting for their next harvest. For the most part however, relations remained friendly.

In October of 1769, Captain Cook sailed into a harbor in New Zealand. His ship, the Endeavor was in need of restocking. The crew was tired and hungry and provisions were almost totally depleted. It was early morning as young Nick, the ship doctor’s twelve-year-old son spotted land and excitedly announced that sighting. The Endeavor dropped anchor and the sailors, having been at sea for a very long time anxiously prepared to wade ashore, all the while expecting the same sort of welcome that had greeted them on so many previous island visits.  The story of what happened next has become part of the local folklore in Gisborne. The tale itself went down in history as an example of a colossal and tragic misreading of intent.

The Maori people were actually, according to locals, excited when they sighted the Endeavor sailing into the harbor. They, like many other islanders before them, planned to welcome the strangers to their beautiful land. Their greeting would include all of the lovely traditions that now many of us have grown to expect with the Maori people.  As Captain Cook and his group set foot on shore, the welcoming “committee” proceeded to perform a Haka. Although the Haka can seem very threatening, we now know that it is not intended to be dangerous, it is meant merely as a challenge. Not knowing the intent, but finding the whole spectacle very threatening, shots were fired by the sailors and several Maoris were killed. The islanders went on the attack, which had not been their original plan, and the crew beat a hasty retreat to the safety of their ship. The Endeavor sailed out of the harbor, having not been able to restock and many of the crew suffered greatly for the next few weeks due to the lack of food. Because of the deprivation suffered as a result of that experience, Captain Cook named that port Poverty Bay and that is how it has been known ever since. At the base of Captain Cooks statue sitting in the harbor in Poverty Bay, is a description of the tragedy and the whole incident is summed up in this simple yet profound sentence. “ When traditional challenges were misunderstood, Maoris were killed”.

While we all enjoy the advantages of immediate communication, I wish at the same time, that we would slow down enough to pay attention to intent and nuance. My friend, Leanne, reminds me that it is important to take the time to try to understand people. In return, we hope that others will take the time to try to understand us as well. I have a refrigerator magnet that simply says, “Assume Positive Intent”. That single thought could have saved Captain Cook and his crew a whole lot of trouble and the same could be said of all of us.

As always we are happy and trying to work hard. We appreciate all of you and the understanding that you have shown to us over the years. Your positive intents have been an example to us of how to go about our lives. We hope to emulate the One whose intent is always a positive in our lives.

Love, Ward and Susan    Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in Gisborne, New Zealand

 

 

Captain Cook stands watch at the mouth of Poverty Bay

 

This bowling club is just one example of the many organizations that use the Poverty Bay Name