Adventures in Paradise Volume 2 #15

Kia ora! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on our connections to family. This is our Maori friend, Arapaera. When we first met her, I had a difficult time making eye contact with her due to the presence of what I considered to be a very unsightly facial tattoo. No matter how hard I tried, it seemed that I could not readjust my attention from focusing solely on her chin. After that initial meeting, I could not have told you what she really looked like; what color her eyes were or how long her hair was. I would not have even been able to hazard a guess as to her age. I had only noticed one thing and it held my attention. I will also admit to having mentally questioned why anyone would make a decision to permanently alter their appearance in that way. I could not imagine such a thing, let alone understand it.

 

 

As time passed, and we had the opportunity to get better acquainted, the subject of Mokos, or facial tattoos came up in one of our conversations. I was touched and quite amazed to learn that Arapaeras’ Moko was a tribute to her family heritage. Mokos are not unusual in Maori culture and Arapearas’ Moko tells about her ancestors and her special place in that family. Each design and its placement speaks to some facet of her particular family story. She explained, with great reverence, what each curve represented. She related family history that was depicted by symbols displayed indelibly on her face. Arapaera considers it an honor to prominently and permanently tell the world who she is and where she came from.  No two Mokos are alike.

As I started thinking about conversations with our new friend, I reflected upon other cultures which also show respect and reverence for family. There are totem poles, clan tartans, coats of arms, and family bibles listing all the events of a family inside its cover.  There are unveiling ceremonies in the South Pacific on the one-year anniversary of a loved ones’ death. There are in-house shrines dedicated to the memory of deceased loved ones and family histories carved into walking sticks and into the eaves of some humble homes. There are stories; more like legends actually, that are passed down from one generation to another. These sagas become more epic in their retelling.  We save tattered photos and old letters because they touch some spot in our hearts. We tell the same worn out jokes over and over because they were told by a loved one. We cherish old quilts, family antiques and favorite recipes. We wish to remember.

I personally treasure a piece of Irish linen that a great, great (too many greats to count) grandmother wove as a young woman in Ireland. That single linen has been passed drown from oldest granddaughter to oldest granddaughter since the 1700s. This simple piece of ecru fabric would mean almost nothing to others, but because it is accompanied by handwritten signatures of all of the women who have cherished it, it means the world to me. It is part of my Moko.

So what is my personal Moko? What do I treasure that has permanence and speaks to the love and reverence that I feel for my family? Many of you are way ahead of me on this one and can already make a guess as to where I am going. While I have not chosen any kind of personal body marking, I have made some life choices, which I hope, will keep my family together forever. I have chosen to spend some portion of my life far away from home sharing what I believe with others. In reality, everything we are doing  here in New Zealand, revolves around the central theme of family and the importance of keeping those connections. In this process, I have also come to appreciate Arapearas’ Moko in a much different light. She has the courage to forever display who she is and what she stands for on her face, making no apologies. I hope to do the same.

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. We are grateful for our family and friends who feel like family. We treasure you and honor who you are and what you stand for. We cannot imagine our lives without all of you in them. By the way, you might find it interesting that in Maori, the  nickname for  the word grandchild is Moko. That pretty much says it all, don’t you think?

 

Love Ward and Susan,   Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in Gisborne, New Zealand