Adventures in Paradise Volume 2 #35

Kia ora! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on why I am writing a love letter to another man. As I endeavor to put my tender feelings into words, my husband is quietly reading in another room, totally unaware that I am openly expressing my undying love and devotion to someone else.

Almost three weeks ago, I received a short, very sobering message from my dear friend, Wendy. Her husband, Bob, had suffered a Hemorrhagic stroke and was in the hospital. The situation was dire and the outcome and prognosis were unpredictable. One thing at that moment seemed clear; Bob’s life and the lives of those who loved him would be forever altered. As I ruminated on the situation and my general sense of helplessness, my unease grew as I realized that I might never have another chance to tell Bob how much I love him. I may have lost the opportunity of thanking him for the positive, caring influence he has been in my life. I am especially grateful for the thoughtful concern he showed me a few years ago when my life took an unexpected turn for the difficult.

If I were to describe Bob, I might suggest that he is a tender- hearted teddy bear tucked inside a grizzly bear’s outsides. He is a “say-what-he-thinks” kind of guy who can sound a little harsh at times. I will readily admit that when I first encountered Bob over thirty years ago, his directness frightened me. I was fearful of his temper and the eruptions that seemed to be a byproduct of him losing it. At that point, I did not know his heart, but I do now. It is experiencing his heart that has prompted me to write this week’s blog in the form of a letter to my friend Bob.

 

Dear Bob,

I was so distressed to hear of your stroke and the accompanying challenges that you are facing. When Ward and I departed for New Zealand, we were well aware that things could and would not stay the same while we were away. We understood that some of those close to us would have difficulties and possibly there would be some who had said goodbye to us who would not be waiting to say hello when we returned. We knew all of this, but were unwilling to attach a name or a face to any of those possibilities. Now we see your face as we pray for you and your family and hope for a recovery.

This letter is to thank you for all that you have done for me over the years. I know that you and Wendy often quietly go about the business of helping others without them knowing it, but I wanted you to know that I am very aware of what you have done for me and I am beyond grateful. You have been a dear friend and at some moments a protector, a rescuer, and a financial advisor; not to mention a sounding board. I have appreciated your advice and your offers of assistance. When my car died, you offered to go to the dealership with me and broker a deal. I was actually feeling sorry for the poor salesman who would never see you coming! When I was sorting finances after becoming single, you are the one who suggested ways to help me protect my savings. You let me cry in front of you and kindly offered to lend me your wife on occasion so that I could get away from it all. You listened and I am so grateful for your concern.

And then there was my most unusual, but most needed Christmas gift. After realizing that my old deadbolt locks were too worn to be activated by my sixty-three-year old house keys, and knowing that sometimes it took me almost half an hour to unlock my house, you were concerned. You were even more concerned when one cold rainy day in November you heard that I had been drenched while trying for twenty-five minutes to unlock my antiquated back door while standing in an icy downpour. This concern prompted you and Wendy to come up with the most thoughtful Christmas gift ever. Every time that I insert my shiny new key into my beautiful brushed bronze deadlocks, I think of you and your thoughtfulness. It is truly the gift that keeps on giving and I can never thank you enough for the peace that those new locks brought to me when not much else was feeling peaceful. Those locks are symbolic of the strength of our friendship and I am grateful.

As I think of you and the challenges that lie ahead, I am reminded of the time that I walked into your kitchen and once again saw you pouring over your scriptures while seated at the breakfast table. When I remarked that it seemed like you had been doing that a lot lately, you simply replied that you were studying for your finals. I smiled when you said that, but at the same time, I was touched that you had attached such importance to learning all that you could in preparation for moving on one day. I am grateful for your quiet example.

Thank you for sharing your stories, your condo, your wife and your life with me. Thank you for being patient when I visited possibly a little too often and stayed a little too late as I found myself needing someone to talk to. Thank you for understanding and possibly remembering what is was like to find yourself in a place that you never expected to be. Thank you for telling me that I would survive. At the risk of inflating your ego, I will simply express my gratitude and tell you that you were right (again!).

It breaks my heart to know that you are not as well as you were when we left you and I wish that there was something more that I could do for you. Please consider this letter a long-distance hug from the other side of the world and know that we love you and are keeping you and your family in our prayers. You have been a constant in my life and I have always known that if I needed anything, you and Wendy would be there.

We love you and miss you and I hope that you will not be upset that I have shared some private feelings in a less than private forum. It’s just possible that my letter to you may remind others that there are people in their lives as well for whom they should be expressing gratitude. Perhaps I will be composing more notes like this one, but for now, yours is the one that feels most urgent. It is the one that I most anxiously wish to send. If I were home, I would probably be baking you a treat and you would be reminding me that you love desserts as your grandmother used to include them in every meal she cooked for you. You might then, even include a story or two about your adventures in Cody, Wyoming. You seemed to enjoy those stories that took you back home and I enjoyed listening to them.  Ward sends his love as well and we want you to know that yours is one of the faces that we are missing most at this moment.

Love, Ward and Susan      Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in Gisborne, New Zealand

 

We Love you Bob! xoxoxoxoxoxo