Adventures in Paradise volume 2 #38

Kia ora!  Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on vocabulary and how the words we use define our culture. I have found it fascinating to learn how some cultures lack words to describe certain experiences with which most of us are familiar. Many cultures, I am finding, also have words that have no equivalent in English. I have found it touching that some of these words and expressions are descriptive of familial relationships.

When we first arrived in the Cook Islands, five years ago, we were faced with strange and confusing terminology. Although our new friends were speaking in English, many of the terms they were using were unfamiliar and confusing to us. They were using words that we easily recognized but their context was unrecognizable. When we first encountered the term “Feeding Mother”, we had no idea what that meant. We started asking questions and soon found that in a country where there are no visible homeless, the terms, “Feeding Mother and “Feeding Father” were descriptive of those who took in children without legally adopting them. These men and women would feed, clothe and shelter young people, often until they reached adulthood. There was never a formal agreement or any compensation; it was just the way it was. In the Polynesian culture, there is always room for one (or several) more. No one needs to be without a home. In the Maori language, there is no word for legal adoption.  

When we arrived in New Zealand, we were struck that many Maori words were used in conjunction with English. We find it a charming mix of two cultures that have learned to live together on two little islands. Even the Chamber of Commerce booklet we were given explaining government services had Maori words intermingled with English and we again found that we needed an interpreter to ascertain proper meanings. This publication, entitled, “Living in Gisborne City”, introduces the reader to Justin and Aroha Gizzy and their Whanau. Having recently learned that Wh has an “F” sound, we realized that the word whanau, was pronounced  “fahnu.” And by reading the booklet, or at least those parts that we understood, we eventually realized that whanau is the Maori word for family. It has been interesting to us that many Maori words are used by Kiwis, even when they have no Maori family ties.

As we became more acquainted with our new friends we began hearing another term which left us questioning its meaning. Having now learned the meaning of the word whanau, we were able to make an educated guess as to the word “Whangai”. We have often heard friends refer to a particular family relationship by saying, “He was whangaied into the family. As was the case in the Cooks, this phrase referred to the non-binding action of a child being brought in under the protection and tutelage of people not members of the child’s immediate family. This practice makes for confusing family trees to be sure, but it also speaks to the heart of people who value familial relationships and don’t care to think of people being on the outside looking in. Again, this Maori word does not mean adoption in the legal sense and most people that we spoke with about this could not imagine the need for anything to be formalized. The need was there and the child was whangaied. It is an open-arms, open home sensitivity where everyone is loved. It is as simple as that.

So, we have learned more touching lessons about relationships as defined by the words our friends use to describe them. We have again taken note that in Maori there is no word for a formalized, legal adoption. In the Maori culture, there is no need for such a word and to be honest, they cannot imagine why my culture has need for a word like that either!

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard.  We have almost fully recovered and have truly felt that while we were ill, we were whangaied into more than one thoughtful family as people have been concerned for our health. For that, we are deeply grateful. We are also grateful for all of you who have whangaied us into your families at home. It is truly a gift to feel at home when we spend time with you. Time is passing too quickly and should any of you still be thinking of paying us a visit, please korerorero mai. We hope that you will come and talk to us!!

Love, Ward and Susan    Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in Gisborne, New Zealand

This is the cover of the guide to living in Gisborne. Meet Justin and Aroha Gizzy and their whanau.