Adventures in Paradise Volume 2 #51

Kia ora! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts concerning being remembered. I believe that it would be a very rare person who would not wish to be remembered. Perhaps we hope that after we depart this life, friends and family will miss our presence and remember us fondly. We appreciate the thoughtfulness of a birthday greeting knowing that someone has been reminded of our special day. We yearn to be remembered fondly for the good things that we have accomplished and often pray that others may develop short memories concerning the not-so-stellar things we have done. This time of the year engenders feelings concerning both sides of the same coin. We are grateful to be remembered but also take special care while remembering to think of others.

At this moment, we are overwhelmed by the evidence that so many of our friends have remembered us this holiday season. Two weeks ago, a box arrived from America and Ward and I, having a pretty clear idea of what it held, were in awe concerning both the size of the box and its weight. This box is an annual tradition in our home ward in Salt Lake City. Each year, well before Christmas, the relief society begins accepting donations that will ultimately end up filling the Christmas stockings that are sent to all of the missionaries who are serving from our ward.  One of the very talented women in our ward hand crafts beautiful Christmas stockings that are then filled with the donations. It may sound greedy to admit that we have grown very fond of this tradition as this is the fourth time that we have received one of these packages. We are not ashamed to confess that we are as excited about our fourth box as we were about our first.  We are aware that not only are the people of our ward generous, but they very often put great thought and effort into individualizing the gifts for a specific receiver. It touches our hearts to know that in the bustle of the season, someone has taken extra care to include a card, gift or simply a note that is personally directed towards us. As I opened the box, I tried very hard not to look specifically at any of the gifts or to access the size of any of the envelopes. I filled our stocking then placed the rest of the items from the box under our little tree. Most of the gifts were wrapped, but the inclusion of two brightly colored yo yos speaks to the fact that someone knows us (or Ward) well enough to be confident that we will put them to good use and have a wonderful time learning a few tricks. We will have to remember, however, to avoid practicing our yo yoing near plate glass windows or very small children!

Over the years, I have almost always contributed to the stockings in one form or another. But to be truthful, and I always try to be, I will say that until I was actually the recipient of one of these stockings, I did not fully appreciate what it would mean to the receiver to have one of these boxes appear . It is a touching and very tender moment when that carton is opened and all of the love that fills it becomes visible. From now on, when it’s time to fill stockings for others, I will take more care in finding something that will suit the person for whom it’s intended. I have learned to be more thoughtful and to be more creative in my gifting. I now more fully understand what it means to be so far away from home and know that I am remembered. Being remembered, I believe, is the next best thing to actually being home to share the season in person.

Ward and I have a rule; well I have a rule and Ward accepts it, that we won’t peek or unwrap anything until Christmas Eve, when we will open the gifts under the tree, saving the filled stocking for Christmas day. So, we haven’t any idea what surprises await us, if you don’t count the yo yos and that one bag of holiday mints that we just couldn’t resist. We appreciate the other cards and parcels that have arrived displaying American postage and we are grateful for the miracle of technology which has enabled so many of you to convey your greetings to us electronically.

On a very sweet side note, Sister Saunders, who works in the mission office, has kept track of all of the packages that have arrived for each missionary. In that process, she has also kept a running account of the missionaries who have not received, or most likely will not receive any kind of remembrance. With the help of others, she is filling forty stockings with donated items so that each missionary will be remembered next week.  We are happy that we will be able to donate a box of beautiful mandarins freshly picked from the trees in our backyard. It is my guess that it won’t matter much to each of these young people so far away from home, that there are any particular items in their stocking. Rather, it will simply matter that they were remembered. And long after the specifics of what was filling those stockings is lost to memory, the knowledge that someone remembered will always be with them.

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. We are grateful to be remembered, but ever more grateful to cherish the memories we have made together. We think of you often and want you to know that we remember. Being remembered, I think, is one of the greatest gifts we can receive. We are also mindful of the Reason for the season and are reminded that if you take away the “mas” from the spirit of Christmas, you are left with the spirit of Christ. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone!

Love, Ward and Susan       Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in Gisborne, New Zealand

The Box

Our Stocking 

What didn't fit in the stocking was placed under the tree.

I love to think of these extras as "leftovers"

Adventures in Paradise Volume 2 # 50

Kia ora! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on an American folk legend and how that legend applies to life in general as well as how it fits in with the sweet ending to our week in particular.  John Chapman was an orchardist who was born in the 1700’s. He spent his life planting apple orchards as he moved from one place to another. He taught others his craft as well as an appreciation for horticulture. He really did not become famous until becoming a folk hero at the hands of Walt Disney. John Chapman became Johnny Appleseed and those of us who are old enough to remember have images in our mind’s eye of a lanky young man tramping through the American Midwest dropping apple seeds randomly as he traveled. Johnny was sometimes depicted barefoot and was often pictured wearing his cooking pot on his head instead of a proper hat. The folklore that surrounds him gives Johnny much of the credit for the beautiful apple orchards that we now appreciate and for the delicious fruit that we harvest from them today.  In truth, the apples that John Chapman planted were not really edible, rather they were intended for the production of hard cider, but that point is quickly eclipsed as our folk hero becomes larger than life in our minds.

For the purpose of this blog, it doesn’t really matter what kind of apple John planted or what they were used for in the end. What matters is the point that someone planted seeds and there was a harvest. It matters that someone’s hard work resulted in a positive and lasting benefit for so many. It matters that once again, we learn that from very simple beginnings great things can come to pass. We are reminded that whatever sort of seeds we plant may have lasting effects on others in the future. Sometimes we are in a position to personally experience the positive results of our sowing. Often, we may never know what sort of harvest we have created, and either way, we find that there are simply blessings in the planting.

Five years ago in the Cook Islands, we met a  father of two beautiful young daughters. We invited this little family to our home and many meals were shared as we got to know each other better. Gustav loved his wife and daughters, but was not particularly interested in coming to church with them or in participating in any church-related activities. He was pleasant enough with us and sometimes seemed genuinely happy to see us. There were other times that we can now smile about, as we recall seeing him attempt to hide as we approached his home. Nothing makes one feel more welcome that knowing that someone is trying to find a place to disappear rather than speak with you! Ask any missionary and they will be able to relate similar instances as it is a universal experience. In the end, we maintained a very loving and friendly relationship with Gus and he even cried as he bid us farewell at the Rarotonga airport.

We learned last year that all of the seeds we sowed with Gus did not fall on rocky ground or blow away as we had assumed they had. At least one small seed germinated and last year Gus decided that it was his time to listen. We were thrilled when we heard from friends on the island that Gus had been baptized. We also smiled as we fondly, well for the most part fondly, reminded each other of the tactics that Gus employed to avoid us. He actually sent word through friends that he was sorry that he had ditched us and he wished that he had listened sooner. We sent word back that it was all good and there were no hard feelings. We even jokingly congratulated him on his elusiveness.

This week our mission president gave us permission to travel outside of our area so that we could spend a little time with our Cook Island friends who were visiting Hamilton and serving in the temple. We were aware that many of our favorite people would be in attendance and we looked forward to spending some hours in the evenings with them. We desperately needed hugs and kisses on the cheek from our friends and we could hardly wait to hear them singing and to join in with them. To our delight and utter joy, some of the first faces that we saw as we entered the room were those of Gustav and his wife, Elizabeth. After the initial bear hugs and teary kisses, we learned that their little family was going to be sealed together in the temple for eternity the next morning! What timing! We had no idea that this was happening but luckily our schedule worked out perfectly so that we could be with them on their special day.

As we tearfully observed Friday morning, Gustav, Elizabeth and their now three beautiful little girls, all dressed in white, surrounded a holy altar in the temple and were sealed together as an eternal family. There was not a dry eye in the room as many of us reflected back on another earlier time where this scenario would not have been possible. Seeds had been planted and without our realizing it, some had taken root and the fruit of that sowing resulted in the very sweet morning that we experienced on Friday.

How odd it seemed to me that as I sat observing the ceremony that morning, suddenly thoughts of Johnny Appleseed came to mind. I had always loved that story, but as a young child, could not quite grasp the concept of doing something that I might not receive credit for, or even worse, not be available to see the way things turned out. The legend seemed to indicate that Johnny randomly threw seeds in every direction with no real planning. In truth, John Chapman did have a plan. His plan was directed, and focused. The seeds and trees that he planted had a very high probability of survival because he took care with them. The extra factor that made such an undertaking successful was that he taught others how to take care of the trees in his absence. We planted the seeds with Gus, then left him in the capable hands of others who went about the business of watching over and tending to him. Many of those same tenders were in the temple with that family Friday and they will continue to watch over them in the future.

As always we are happy and trying to work hard. We are grateful for the experiences of this last week. Ward laughingly joked with Gustav, as they were hugging each other, that  he could run, but in the end could not continue to hide. Gus has no intentions of hiding any longer. We are also grateful that our particular life’s harvest includes so much love and thoughtfulness produced from seeds that you all have planted. We are, most especially at this time of year, grateful for the place that each of you occupies in our lives. Our association with you are the fruits of lives well lived and we wouldn’t change a thing.

Love, Ward and Susan        Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in Gisborne, New Zealand

This photo of Gustav and Elizabeth with their girls was taken Friday evening after their sealing. There is no mistaking how happy and peaceful they are. xoxoxoxoxo

We spent the end of a perfect Friday surrounded by some of our Cook Island friends.

Adventures in Paradise Volume 2 #49

Kia ora! Our excellent adventure continues with thoughts concerning a sweet island custom that we hope to emulate when we return home. Five years ago, as we began our service in the Cook Islands we observed something very interesting. After ending our visit at a particular home, we realized that after saying goodbye, our hosts would remain standing in the doorway of their homes until we were well away. Sometimes there would be continual waves from our new friends as we departed and we found it touching, that even in a rainstorm, those waves would continue. Often, in lieu of waves, there were simply wide grins and again no move to return indoors until we had driven away. It seemed to us to represent the highest form of respect and we were touched by their thoughtfulness.

Since arriving in New Zealand, we have been happily surprised to find that the islanders here have the same method of saying their goodbyes. Over and over again, we have witnessed entire families remain in place outside their homes as they wave their farewells to us upon our departure. While I cannot pinpoint the origin of such a practice, I have grown to appreciate the thought behind it. And while I have grown to expect this same sort of farewell everywhere we go, I can honestly say that it never ceases to be a touching finale to time spent with friends.

It occurs to me that no one here ever turns his back on a visitor and I believe that this attitude carries over into other aspects of life in the  “Land of the Long White Cloud”. There is gentility in even the most modest of homes which translates to the way visitors are treated. It doesn’t matter who you are; if you have been paying a visit, your farewell will remain the same. It’s just the way life is here and it’s lovely.

So, as we have been the recipients of such thoughtfulness over the years and across two countries, we have learned by example the sweetness involved in saying a proper goodbye. Our habits have been permanently altered by the kindness of others. And isn’t it lovely to learn through kind example how to make a change for the better?  No longer can we imagine closing the door behind a guest who is walking away from our home. It smacks of having turned our backs on a visitor and that just doesn’t feel right. Where before our life in the islands, I would not have given a second thought to moving back into my home as my guest was still within eyesight. Now my sensitivities have shifted and that shift will now find us standing at our door waving, calling out our goodbyes and watching until our visitor is well out of sight.

It’s a simple but powerful reminder to all of us that we can choose or learn to choose not to turn away from someone. There are enough rebuffs in the world as it is. Social media makes it so easy to unfriend, delete, or simply ignore others that it seems a wonderful opportunity to do just the opposite. I am suggesting a little social experiment as it were. The next time you say goodbye to a visitor, expand your farewell time by remaining fixed in your doorway until your guest has moved well past your line of sight. I promise you that it will make someone’s day. If your visitor doesn’t notice the first time, I am almost positive that they will notice eventually and in the meantime, you have the satisfaction of knowing that you have continued to make someone feel welcome even as they were leaving.

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. We are all lifetime learners and lessons that focus on improving relationships with others are some of the most valuable lessons that we can ever learn. Please be assured that if you honor us with a visit where ever we may be, we will honor you by letting you know how happy we were to have your company. I am reminded of Jane King, who used to live in our neighborhood. Every day, as her husband left home to walk to the university, Jane would stand on her porch and wave goodbye to Jim until he was well out of view. I have never forgotten the sweetness of Jane’s daily gesture and now hope that someone I know may have that same sort of memory as they leave my home. Good for you, Jane!

Love, Ward and Susan      Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in Gisborne, New Zealand

Samantha is blind, so we waves until she can no longer hear our car. 

Antasia and her baby did not budge until we turned the corner at the end of her lane. Her other children were in school or they would have been there as well to say goodbye.

Adventures in Paradise Volume 2 #48

Kia ora! Our excellent adventure continues with thoughts of Thanksgiving and giving thanks. It is Friday here, but all day, my thoughts have been centered on events taking place thousands of miles away on your Thursday. I will admit to having focused on the clock an inordinate amount of time today, as I speculated on what may be happening at any given moment in Utah, Arizona or Texas.

This is our fourth Thanksgiving away from home and I will admit that I am suffering from some serious homesickness. As I have described this season to others, I am transported to a place where the air is crisp and it’s still possible to find some autumn leaves to crunch under foot. I have described steamed up kitchen windows and the blissful aromas emanating from that hive of activity. I am fondly missing associations with friends and family and the laughter and the general feeling of mellowness that settles over the evening. To me, it is magical and I miss it.

Finding the need for a major paradigm shift, I began to realize that while there will hopefully, be many more Thanksgivings at home, the chance that we will spend another one in our adopted country are slim. My shift involved a refocus. This afternoon, I have been pouring over photos that impart their own memories for which I am truly thankful. I am beyond grateful for the opportunities and experiences that have become the collage of our time here. We are thankful for the associations we have enjoyed with our new friends and we know that a year from now when we are enjoying a brisk walk while crunching leaves, we will be thinking of friends here who are traveling to a favorite beach for the Festive Season. While the aroma of a succulent turkey wafts through my kitchen, I will be carried back to celebrations where a pig or lamb roasted on an outside spit. I will smile at the memory of how instead of fighting over a drumstick, our Kiwi friends jockeyed to see who would receive the largest portion of crackle. Their way is magical as well and we will savor the memories we are collecting. We would like to share a little of the Kiwi magic with you and hope that you can catch the spirit of what we will surely be missing next year at this time.

   We are thankful for and will miss watercolor mornings.

 We are thankful that these elders showed us where to find the most delicious butter chicken in New Zealand. It was worth the hour drive to get to Curry King! We will miss it!

 We are thankful for technicolor sunrises viewed from our bedroom window.

 We were always grateful for this view as we returned home.

 We are thankful to have experienced Fejoas. They taste like fruit salad. Yum! 

 We are thankful to have seen so many exotic flowers. We will miss them.

 We are thankful for a time, we lived in a land of lighthouses.

 We are thankful to have seen a beautiful rainbow as it dropped into the sea.

 We were thankful when friends dropped by our home.

 Ward was thankful that he had a fresh breakfast available just outside his door.

 We were thankful when friends hung around.

 We were thankful when someone roasted a pig. The crackle is the crispy skin and Ward thinks that it's delicious. People are always fighting to get the last bit.

 We are thankful to have visited so many breathtaking places. We have lovely memories.

 We are thankful to have seen the Rhododendron  bush  bloom in our backyard. Next November, I will think of it and miss its amazing aroma.

 We are thankful to have lived near middle earth.

 I was thankful to share one of my favorite places in Gisborne with Ward's family. This is Sponge Bay and it is stunning.

 I am thankful to have experienced Rere Falls. Ward's family enjoyed it as well.

 I am thankful to have learned about Maraes.

We are so thankful to have shared our experiences here in New Zealand with amazing young people.

As always we are happy and trying to work hard. We treasure the relationships that have become the fabric of our lives and are so thankful to have your faces come into focus as we concentrate on one experience and memory after another. Thank you for traveling our road with us and please know that we are here giving thanks for you and what you bring into our lives. 

Love, Ward and Susan    Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in Gisborne, New Zealand

Adventures in Paradise Volume 2 #47

Kia ora! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on Technicolor impressions. This week, the news of the death of someone I greatly admire reached us here in New Zealand. As it happens, that news arrived almost two years to the day of her death, and for me, as you might imagine, my shock and disbelief were as fresh and painful as if it had just occurred. I simply could not believe she was gone.

So, as I have been thinking about Valerie, I have been very touched by her whole obituary, the first line of which sums up beautifully who she was and how those who knew her best regarded her. “Oh how she touched us with tips of wonder.” The text of her obituary goes on to speak about the many lives that she lovingly touched and how relationships with friends, and especially her family were so very important to her. It was a touching tribute to a lovely woman who had spent her life in the service of others.

In the novel, “Hawaii”, By James A. Mitchner, Jerusha Hale, a New Englander by birth, had been living in a very primitive Hawaii. After her marriage to the Reverend Hale, Jerusha faced a life of hardship in a strange land absent from all those she loved. Her entire life as she knew it was separated from her by a vast ocean and a life light years away from the one she used to know. One day, a ship sailed into the harbor with the most precious of cargos; letters from home. Jerusha excitedly held those packets to her breast as she almost frantically searched for a quiet spot where she could savor her letters in private. As she read, her euphoria evaporated when she realized that one of the messages contained news of her sister’s death almost two years before. Overcome with grief, Jerusha wondered at how it was that a sister whom she had loved so dearly had been gone for two I years without Jerusha ever instinctively feeling that loss. Upon opening my e-mail the other morning, I found myself having many of the same tender feelings that Jerusha must have felt. I found it curious that for these last two years, I have thought of Valerie in the present tense, not once having any inkling that she was gone. I finally found it comforting to realize that while others had been missing her, I had been able to enjoy two extra years of her being present in my mind. I am going to consider those two years a gift.

Valerie lived a very full and interesting life and she wasted no time enjoying it and the people around her. That is one of the lessons that she has left with me. At forty, she married for a second time and we used to laugh about the challenges of dating as “older women”.  Once when I asked how she happened to meet her husband and the love of her life, she simply replied that it was because she was colorful. Noticing the perplexed look on my face, she laughingly explained that she had been attending a singles dance and was standing among a group of women when her future husband walked through the door. As he tells it, he noticed the group of women, but they all appeared to him in black and white. Then he noticed Valerie and he saw her in Technicolor! What a wonderful effect to have on someone! I have always thought that that was one of the sweetest things that I had ever heard. I secretly (I guess not so secretly now) hoped that I could have a similar effect on others, as I so admired Valerie and wanted to possess some of the magic that made her who she was.

So, as I choose not to mourn, but rather to remember Valerie, I will look for her colorfulness in others. I will be grateful that I have true-blue friends and family. I will be so happy to regard those I love as inhabitants of a human crayon box, filled with differing hues and tints and I will take joy in knowing that we don’t always have to color within the lines. Valerie wore more jewelry at one time that I have ever owned in total and chose always to wear sandals even in the dead of winter because she wanted to be comfortable. And while she cared a great deal about what people thought of her as a person, she wasn’t concerned one moment with what they thought of her fashion choices. She was always Valerie. I think that it would be lovely if we could all from time to time, stand out from the rest of the crowd and be noticed and appreciated for our differences. Valerie was not afraid to be different and that is what made her so memorable. That and the fact that she could always be counted on to be there, where ever there was.

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. We are so grateful for the colorful characters in our lives and please know that we don’t see any of you in black and white. Actually, if I were to be honest, and I try always to be, I have mental images of most of you as a color and would be happy to share that information upon request. It might just make your day to see yourself as someone else does. Valerie seemed always to focus on what was most positive about the people she knew and while I knew her, she taught me to do the same. I will miss her, but am so overwhelmingly grateful to have known her and have been touched by her magic. I would hope that you all might have a Valerie or two in your lives, as it makes everything so much more interesting.

Love, Ward and Susan    Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in Gisborne, New Zealand

Adventures in Paradise Volume 2 #46

Kia ora! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on traditions. Lately, we have been trying to explain with some clarity, the reason for and the traditions associated with Thanksgiving. We are receiving a lot of blank stares as we attempt to describe a typical Thanksgiving Day and the menu that goes along with it. On a humorous note, I find it slightly ironic that in a country that describes most of its meals as a “feed” the locals do not seem to understand our description of overindulgence on the particular day! What our friends here do understand however, is the focus on spending time with friends and family. They gravitate to that particular concept because so many of their traditions are intrinsically tied to connecting with others.

Such is the sweet and very ancient practice of the Hongi. If you have ever witnessed two persons touching noses and foreheads in greeting, you may have wondered at the meaning of that particular gesture. It is a welcome deeply spiritual in nature and usually done between people who feel safe and familiar with each other. It may also be used as a welcome for visiting dignitaries, but traditionally this form of hello is saved for close acquaintances who revere and honor each other. When the Hongi is used to greet a visitor, this “ sharing of breath”, transports that guest from the status of a newcomer to that of a person belonging to the land.

Tradition tells us that the Hongi recalls the Maori legend of the creation of the first earthly woman, Hineahuone. She was formed from clay by the creator god, Tane, who then breathed life into her nostrils. In more modern times, the Hongi has become a traditional Maori greeting where people press their noses together, thus symbolizing the sharing of breath. What can be more touching between friends that to participate in a welcome where they share the same breath?  I found the symbolism very touching and I have found myself contemplating some of the ways that we, of another culture, practice our own form of the Hongi.

Tane breathing life into the woman he has created

My thoughts turn to all of you that I hope to hug on returning home. That physical gesture, combined with the closeness that it engenders, symbolizes to me a sharing of one heartbeat. We are happy to see each other!  Similarly, the experience of shedding tears with someone evokes a commonality of emotion at that moment. We learned in the Cooks to kiss on the cheek and have been thrilled to see that practice continued here in New Zealand. To me all of these greetings are far superior to the handshake, so we hope to make you all a little more Kiwi or Cookie by focusing past your out stretched hand to your cheek! You may grow to love that particular greeting as much as we do!

As is often the case, in attempting to teach our new friends about our culture, we have found ourselves instead, learning much more from them about theirs. We had a gathering at our home last evening and once again, witnessed the touching exchange of breath between two very old and dear friends. They also had their arms around each other and seemed reluctant to release. There was no embarrassment in the greeting, just a quiet interaction that we felt privileged to witness.

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. Many of you have heard me say that I always wanted to live somewhere long enough not to feel like a tourist. In my life, I am grateful that this experience of acclimating has been a blessing in my life twice and it has changed my perspective in more ways than I can count. This December, many of our Cook Island friends will be spending time in Hamilton attending the temple and we will have the lovely opportunity of sharing some time with them. There will be hugs, back slaps, and laughter. We will enjoy favorite traditional Cookie foods that we have missed and we are excited to anticipate the singing and dancing that will be part of every evening. It will be like coming home. And speaking of coming home, we are looking forward to much of the same interaction with you next spring when we return to Utah. Perhaps there will be a little less singing and dancing on my part, because I expect Ward to pick up the slack on his end of those particular items! I can promise hugs, kisses on the check and tears, not necessarily in that order. We love you and miss you and find that we are thinking of you often and fondly.

Love, Ward and Susan    Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in Gisborne, New Zealand  

Adventures in Paradise Volume 2 #45

Kia ora! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts on epilogs and prologs. Last week, we shared a behind-the-scenes peek at a typical transfer day in the mission field. As is often the case, the blog took on a direction all of its own. I did not anticipate the many comments that we would receive regarding the resurfacing of memories from others who had served. We were touched as many of you shared your tender recollections of those transitional moments and how much it meant to you to be reminded. One friend simply stated that it was touching to see how much these young people grow and mature as they adapt to change and face new responsibilities. So, as we move into a new week and a slightly new subject, I have chosen to regard the events of last week as an epilog; we have experienced the end of a certain era and now must look towards new adventures where we will navigate our now-slightly altered reality with a revised cast of characters.

A prolog looks towards the future and I thought that you might enjoy meeting our four beautiful young sister missionaries. They are beginning their journey together here in Gisborne with enthusiasm and positive attitudes. As I was speaking with them, there were tears and laughter as they discussed their own epilogs. They spoke of their homes, their families, their adjustments and insecurities. They collectively mentioned that the belief in what they have been called to do and the faith that they are in the right place at the right time is ultimately what sustains them when change or disappointment visits. They learn, even in the very early days of new companionships, to look to each other for the grounding that they need to keep moving forward. It is touching to see how quickly these new relationships develop, especially as they adjust not only to a new country and its culture, but also to a new companion who also brings  her own cultural slant to the relationship. I regard this adapting as one of the many miracles that we witness here on a daily basis.

Introducing our four sister missionaries who serve in Gisborne. Some of you may be surprised by the diversity, but that is one of the things that we love best about our little district. Beginning at the left, please meet Sister Ma, Sister Puluto, Sister Dynkova, and Sister Tilley. This photo was taken within minutes of their meeting each other for the first time and as we had the opportunity to check in with them yesterday, we found that all four were still smiling!

Sister Ma and Sister Dynkova:  ( Sister Ma is on the left)

Sister Ma was born in Tonga, and eventually moved to Auckland as a twelve-year-old girl. It is interesting to note here, that of the four sisters in our district, she is the only one allowed to drive in New Zealand. When she opened her mission call, her first thought was “No Way!” as she was being assigned to her own country! AND the Hamilton, New Zealand mission is only a stone’s throw away from her own neighborhood! She laughingly noted that her first assigned district was a twenty-minute drive from her home, so she didn’t tell her family where she was posted. She finally mentioned this to her mother on Mother’s Day with a “Don’t come and visit me” request!  I can only imagine what it is like for a mother to know that her child is so close yet so far away! When asked about the challenges of assimilating into a new culture, Sister Ma said that she was already used to the food and the culture, but was having trouble with people being so generous. She was not used to having three meals a day and certainly not used to being served a heaping plate of food and being expected to finish every bit of it! Sister Ma no longer thinks about the proximity to her family and instead is focused on the work. She has loved each companion and appreciates them for the blessings of diversity they bring into her life. She has learned so much from each of them and is currently working to perfect her “eyebrow technique”…….. more about that technique later.  Sister Ma is happy and working hard.

Sister Dynkova arrived in New Zealand from the Czech Republic after traveling thirty-two hours! She is grateful for kind strangers who answered the prayers of a confused traveler who did not speak much English. She is the first missionary in a three generation L.D.S. family and she is excited to be serving. She was happy to be called to New Zealand as she wanted to improve her English language skills, but has found it to be more difficult that she anticipated. She is amazed and sometimes perplexed by a culture so different from her own and is still getting used to “invasion of personal space” and being kissed on the cheek by everyone, including strangers. She has come to love Pavlova and chop suey. She finds it humorous that they are not invited to dinner, but rather to a “Feed”. For several months, early in her mission Sister Dynkova was frustrated and sometimes offended by what appeared to be very rude and dismissive behavior directed towards her by the Maoris. She would ask a question where she was expecting a yes answer and instead of an oral response, she would be met with a raise of the eyebrows. In her country, that simple response was considered very rude and Sister Dynkova’s feelings were hurt by that particular behavior. Eventually, Sister Dynkova came to learn that the raising of the eyebrows is the preferred form of yes, especially among the Polynesians and that they weren’t being rude to her at all! Now her companion, Sister Ma uses her particular eyebrow technique to coax a smile and often a giggle out of her companion! Sister Dynkova is happy and working hard.

 

Sisters Pulotu and Tilley   (Sister Pulotu is on the left)

Sister Pulotu comes to us from Vara’u Tonga, one of the major islands that comprises that country. She says that heaps of people live on that island and her definition of heaps is somewhere over one thousand! She was praying hard that she would be assigned to an English-speaking mission so that she would be able to apply to BYU-Hawaii at the end of her service. Her father wants her to get out of Tonga, become educated and have a better life that he can offer her were she to stay in her own country.  She had prayed to be called to the Philippines (not sure about the English there) or Australia, but realized that her prayers had been answered by her assignment to New Zealand.  One of the strangest things that Sister Polotu found in New Zealand was the fact that so many people live in partnerships without being married. She said that in Tonga, they would chase you out of the village if you were with a partner. When a relationship produces a child in her country, the young parents do not live together, but the father is expected to be responsible in support of his child. Sister Pulotu does not care for Kiwi meat pies or hangis (underground oven cooked meals) but is addicted to KFC, as there is no KFC in Tonga. She doesn’t like transfers because you have to get to know everyone all over again and sometimes people that the missionaries work with are sad to lose an old friend and they don’t want to take the time to get to know a new missionary. She says that leaving an area is stressful, but has learned that things have a way of working out. She always wishes for an islander for a companion, rather than a Palangi ( white person), not because of any prejudice, but rather she feels that less time is wasted getting used to someone else’s new ways. But the positive side is that the Palangi companions have helped her to improve her English! It’s all good and she is always trying  to be a positive person. Sister Polotu is happy and working hard.

Sister Tilley grew up in Suva, Fiji and cried when she received her call. She was happy not to be serving in her own country, but really wanted to be very far away from home. She was especially drawn to Russia or Africa, as she thought that she would be able to lose weight and return home thinner. She says that as she nears the end of her mission, serving in Gisborne is the icing on the cake. This is probably not the best description for someone who wanted to diet, but she loves it here! She has been successful in resisting the traditional meal of “boil-ups” where everything is just tossed into a pot and cooked to death. She has loved all of her companions, although she has always found transfers difficult. But she has learned that each change of companion brings something new and helpful. Sister Tilley has noticed that each of her companions has been useful in helping her work with and overcome one or another of her weaknesses and she is grateful. Her favorite “Kiwi” restaurant in Carl’s Jr. and since it’s also her father’s favorite, she thinks of him every time she bites into a burger! Sister Tilley is a force to be reckoned with and we admire her spirit. Sister Tilley is happy and working hard.

We love these sisters and admire them for their unbridled enthusiasm and their love of the work that they take so seriously. We have enjoyed sharing a meal and a good laugh with them. They think that Ward is cheeky and wouldn’t have it any other way. I am lucky that I am able to give them huge hugs while Elder Belliston is relegated to handshakes. These are sweet young women and we consider it a blessing to be able to serve with them. We are thrilled to know that at least for the foreseeable future, these amazing girls are with us in our little town.

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. Having served our last mission “marooned” on an island by ourselves, we consider it this mission’s bonus to allow us the opportunity to interact with such remarkable young people. It should go without saying that the bonus of our lives at home is the opportunity we have to associate with each of you.

Love, Ward and Susan    Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in Gisborne, New Zealand

Adventures in Paradise Volume 2 #44

Kia ora!  Our excellent adventure continues with a backstage look at the inner workings of a mission. Most of us who have at least a rudimentary knowledge of missionaries are aware that the young elders and sisters do not spend their entire tenure in one place or with one companion. While there are many reasons for the transfers, the process of each particular change is a monumental undertaking and requires great orchestration.

This week, Ward and I had the rare privilege of participating in this ritual and we were both touched and overwhelmed by what we observed. Every six weeks approximately one third of our mission force faces reassignment. Young people who have learned to love not only the people that they serve in a particular area, but hopefully, their companions, are given a new directive and they are expected to pack their meager possessions into two suitcases and face new challenges. Some will be given new leadership responsibilities and most everyone experiences a case of jangled nerves to one extent or another.

I have, I will admit, a love-hate relationship with transfers. While I am always excited to meet new young people and I welcome that interaction, I am at the same time so sad to say goodbye to those whom we have learned to love. These sweet kids depart from Gisborne, knowing that they are taking a piece of our hearts with them. Our bonus this week, was that we were asked to transport two sisters back to Hamilton where all of the exchanges would take place. We looked forward to a six-hour drive and the opportunity to interact with them a little longer. We smiled as we observed these two sisters as they spent last precious moments saying goodbye to their companions. There was laughter and tears and it was a touching interlude. 

I might mention here, that Gisborne is as far away from the mission headquarters as you can get, so our mission president has the extra concern during transfers of assigning the most trustworthy and diligent missionaries to this area. So, as we drove our six hours, we had the unique opportunity to gain a little more insight into the emotions that were running so high with our young sisters. By the actual day of the move, everyone knows where they are going and with whom they will be working, but questions concerning the new areas and the personalities of their new companions are still a mystery. The best way that I can describe the tension is that it seems to be a cross between nervousness similar to that of anticipating a blind date and the excitement surrounding Christmas Eve.

What is not apparent at this juncture is the process that has led up to the transfers. The mission president starts the process by fasting and praying for Divine guidance in meeting the needs of the missionaries, the people and the new areas. He must also consider medical needs of some of the missionaries and personalities. On a more mundane note, he must also consider who is allowed to drive in New Zealand and who is not. Often, finding a driver for a certain companionship is not easy. And while many of the missionaries are expected to bike, some areas are just too large and spread out to make that feasible. It is a daunting process that President Rudd repeats every six weeks!

In addition to the process of assignment, there is the challenge of actually moving young people, their baggage, bedding and bicycles from one place to another. Rental trailers are arranged for and the hope is that all transferring missionaries have remembered to pack everything. In our district, everyone meets at our home for a treat and last minute instructions. The stress became evident, for example as one sister remembered at the last moment that she had forgotten her bicycle! Add one hour to travel time! Wednesday, one Elder realized that he had forgotten his suit, so he had to go back to the flat for that! Then he was hungry, so as we all waited, he stopped for a little lunch on the way back to our house. I remarked to Ward that I really don’t feel like I have retired from teaching high school, as I seem to again be dealing with young people who still need a little (or a lot)  mothering!  Finally a prayer is said and the caravan was off and I spent the next hours at the end of the caravan praying for the safe passage of teenagers who have only been driving for two years or so! 

In Hamilton, at the chapel we find organized chaos. The parking lot has been sectioned off into districts with the accompanying trailers. Old friends and former companions are calling to each other and there are many tearful reunions. We were so happy to be part of several of those encounters and we found ourselves struck by how much so many of our young friends had grown. In between the hugs (Elder to Elder, Sister to Sister), handshakes and back slaps, suitcases were being transferred and bicycles were scooting across the parking lot only to be reloaded in another conveyance. The whole scene reminded me of a very happy street fair.

At some point, it became time to find new companions and settle into the chapel for a few words from the president.There is an introduction of the new missionaries, who I will admit, resemble deer in the headlights. At the end of his remarks, the president invited everyone to enjoy the lunch that has been provided and then to “Get outta here”.  President knows that there will be more hugs, handshakes and back slaps and while he appreciates the affection behind it, he is also concerned that everyone arrive at their new destinations safely and before dark.

Finally and very gradually, the crowd thins and tearful goodbyes turn into waves from departing cars. The ride home for us involved getting to know two more lovely young women who have chosen to spend time far away from families in order to represent their Savior. It did not take our six-hour car trip  home for us to begin to love them. And so the cycle repeats itself and we are back to life as we know it.

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. We have a greater appreciation for the many hours and prayers that go into the planning and implementing of each transfer. We also have a heightened sense of the power that these dedicated young people possess as they go about each day of their lives in the mission field. We love them and we are grateful to have to the opportunity to get to know them. We have many of those same feelings where you all are concerned. We are grateful for the relationships we have with you and treasure our associations. These young people are the best and that can be said of all of you as well.

Love, Ward and Susan     Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in Gisborne, New Zealand 

The organized chaos of relocating one third of the mission. Think of the cost of the trailer rentals alone! Transfers happen every six weeks.

Old friends and companions have a few moments to reconnect. It is a happy time.

It's always amazing that everyone ends up with the correct luggage in the correct trailer.

The bicycles hang over the front bar of the trailer. 

 We were thrilled to see one of our favorite missionaries as we hadn't seen him for about six months.

These sisters are being transferred and we were fortunate to be able to spend time in the car with them on our trip down from Gisborne.

Sister Anderson on the right just met her trainee. They will be working in the visitors center. According to mission lore, where ever you start your mission is where you were born  and where you end it is where you die. Your trainer in your mother (or father) so here is Sister Anderson with her new daughter.

Elder Meek on the left, and Elder Mills served together but hadn't seen each other for several months. Elder Mills is Elder Meek's "son".

Good friends saying goodbye for now. We will miss them. 

Adventures in Paradise Volume 2 #43

Kia ora! Our excellent adventure continues with some thoughts concerning receiving sound advice. Last week, I did not have time to write a blog as my son Travis came to New Zealand to spend his vacation with us. Our mission president generously encouraged us to explore our island together while enjoying each others company. It was a wonderful visit, and from a mother’s viewpoint, a tad too short, but it meant the world to me to have my son here with us and we made the most of every moment. As we motored around the north island, I marveled at the ingenuity of the road signs that we encountered. I was impressed by the cleverness of their creators and the inventive way that this country has of leaving thoughtful messages for both residents and visitors alike. 

There are signs that remind the public that they are on holiday so there is no need to be in a hurry.  We smiled when warnings appeared notifying us of lurking seals and yellow-eyed penguins. Do seals somehow climb up steep embankments and wander across the road? I have no idea! Some serious signage reminds the reader that “Live is 4 Living, Stay Alert”, while another notes, “ Seatbelt on Safe Travels.” New Zealand also alerts drivers that there are older folks living in the area with “Elderly Crossing” cautions. This yellow sign is embellished with a stooped-over figure holding a cane. I just happened to snap a photo of Ward standing under that particular sign, but he has insisted that there is no way that I will be allowed to post it! There is another photo of Ward standing below a message from the New Zealand police that warns us not to speed. In that particular photo, Ward is holding his speeding ticket (who would have believed it?) and I was absolutely not allowed to post that photo, either. The truth is, that Ward only reads my blog after it has been published, so he will not know until it’s too late that I have shared his secret!

But I digress. For the most part, the creativity exhibited keeps us entertained as we drive, and hopefully gives us something to think about. Below is the Maori version of, “Attention, school bus unloading, 20 kph. Watch for children. Using childlike drawings was, I thought, a very clever and effective way of reminding us all to watch out for the little ones.

 

 But by far the most thought-provoking sign, for me personally, is one that I have been pondering ever since arriving in New Zealand.  And although I am almost positive that my interpretation was not the intent of the designer, I have wondered just how many others have viewed this particular sign with its powerful suggestion and found a deeper meaning in its few simple words.  

 

What a powerful lesson we are taught when we realize that where we will go is determined by the direction we are facing. What we do in this life depends in great part, on where we choose to look. If we have set goals for ourselves, we are much more likely to accomplish those goals if we keep focused on the end. Should we, like the biker on the sign, happen to look away or be distracted even momentarily, we may find ourselves headed in the wrong direction. We can become lost. We can find ourselves in situations we never imagined and in places that we had not desired to visit.

So each time that we pass this particular cautionary reminder, I try to remember to make certain that I am facing in the right direction. Sometimes, we may even need to slow down just a little, so that we don’t miss an unexpected curve or bump in the road. Those hazards are better managed when we are paying attention and taking them seriously.

As always, we are happy and trying to work hard. We are finding joy in the journey and no small amount of amusement as we now, eagerly watch for and anticipate the next creative roadside admonition. We are grateful for all of you, who have impressed us with your navigational skills and your ability to keep from losing yourselves. We appreciate your examples and look forward to returning home so that from time to time, we might just be able to travel with you!

Love, Ward and Susan      Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in Gisborne, New Zealand

 And there is nothing more attention getting that simply seeing an exclamation point!

Adventures in Paradise Volume 2 #42

Kia ora! Our excellent adventure continues with thoughts concerning befores and afters. Many who know me will appreciate my saying that I am almost addicted to projects where there is a miraculous change.  I am mesmerized by photos featuring something or someone badly in need of renovation. The transformation possibilities pique my imagination and I can hardly wait to see the finished project. Having confessed my addition, I will readily admit that if I were forced to choose only one TV channel, I would, without hesitation, opt to live the rest of my life with HGTV.  One of my ideas of heaven would be continuous before and after decorating programs. The irony here is that I do even have cable at my home, so there is no way that dream could ever come true. I would have to depend on the kindness of others to share their cable with me!

Having made that confession, I would like to tie my addiction to the excitement I feel when someone we love chooses to change his before life into an after that is already bringing him great peace. Today Robert was baptized and we couldn’t be happier. When we first met him, Robert was pretty much a wild child. He was living with his brother and sister-in-law and they felt that his sole aim in life was to create havoc in their home. He was thoughtless and selfish. He contributed noting to the household save constant frustration and annoyance. It was not a happy before picture and there did not seem to be any hope for a remodel.

In truth, Robert is not a child. He is a young adult in his twenties who has lived the majority of his life without much direction.  When asked by the family to please turn down his head-banging music, he would laugh and turn it up. When the request was to find songs that had less vile lyrics so that the children didn’t have to listen, he looked for music that contained even more offensive language. He spent over 40.00 a week on cigarettes but when asked to contribute to the family income, he scoffed at such an idea, saying that he could not afford it. Robert is the father of a two-year-old born of a short-lived relationship and he has grown used to not being a part of that child’s life. When we first met him, he was rude to us and dismissive. If he knew that we were coming to visit, he would absent himself and if we happened to drop by unannounced, he would leave as quickly as he could. There was a darkness about him that seemed fed by his unhappiness and his lack of direction.

One day, after several months of avoidance, Robert approached us and simply asked when we were going to teach him. We were stunned, but recovered quickly enough to make an appointment for the next day.  Over the last few months, we have learned that one of the reasons Robert asked to speak with us is that he noticed that his brother, who had grown up in the same home had made changes to his life that had brought him peace. Even through the loud music and the questionable lyrics and the rudeness, Robert was able to notice that his brother and sister-in-law were doing things in a way that looked like a cohesive family. He was impressed that the children were well-behaved and treated with love and patience. He watched as the two little boys asked to say their prayers and volunteered to say a blessing on their meals. He watched as his brother’s little family played and worshiped together and one day, Robert realized that he had been wrong in maligning them. He actually wanted to know what they knew and he wanted to learn how he could have the same peace in his life.

So, Robert has become an “After”.  He no longer resembles the before that he once was. His change of heart has brought him peace and a new direction. He is happy and settled and almost the exact opposite of the person he used to be. We are not the only ones who have seen the change. Today at his baptism someone mentioned that his darkness has now been replaced by light. Robert having saved over 40.00 a week by not purchasing cigarettes, spent some of those savings on a new sound system for his sister-in-law, so that she could enjoy the music that she preferred. He is doing dishes and helping to watch over his two young nephews. He has said that he never knew that a person could feel this good.

Today at his baptism, Robert was warned that the water was pretty chilly. In speaking of it afterwards, he simply said that someone had said that the water was cold, but that he was totally unaware of its temperature. He said that all he felt was warmth.

As always we are happy and trying to work hard. Although Ward sometimes rolls his eyes when I mention how much I love renovations, he will admit to being pretty pleased about those renovated lives that we have been privileged to witness here in New Zealand. We appreciate the examples these “Afters” have been to us in our lives. We also appreciate the truly amazing examples you have been in our lives as well. We wish you all the peace that Robert is feeling at this moment.

Love, Ward and Susan    Elder and Sister Belliston, serving in Gisborne, New Zealand

Robert was baptized this morning by his brother Jason. The "Before" Robert would never have been smiling so braodly.